Huggies Forum

i am so angry at my DH Lock Rss

i started my new job on tuesday (was meant to be monday, but my alternator went on my car, great start to the workforce huh!)

well, my mum has been having the kids for me as i am working 9-3, until i settle in and know if i will stay at the job, which then they will go into day care (my DD will be at kindy tho)

she has had them all week, even though my DH hasnt been at work, he said he wouldnt watch them. so i leave at 8, get home at 4, then have to do all the housework (he tramps mud in from teh shed) cook tea, do the dishes, then do the bed routine..........all the while DH is in the shed with his project car.

last night, at 11pm my sister's water broke (3 weeks early) , so my mum was at the hossy all night with her (a baby boy at 4.14am this morning smile ) so, obviously, mum couldnt watch the kids today.

DH is at home again today. I went in and told him that mum couldnt have the kids cos my sis had her baby, and that he would need to. HE SAID NO!!!!

I had to call in, on my first week of work, and tell them I couldnt come in as I had noone to watch the kids! They are 3 & 5, both fully toilet trained, and dont get into much trouble. they always play outside or do puzzles/drawings....they r easy to watch!!

I am so angry. I hope I don't get fired!! And it's not like they aren't his kids, they are! It makes mem so angry, that I am really tempted to say to him next time my step daughter comes over (who i always have, he aleays makes sure he is working when she comes, he'll even reschedule jobs to make sure he's working) that I wont watch her cos if HE can't watch his kids, then I wont watch his kids either. (DSS is 14, and knows what her dad is like, and i will tell her beforehand so she knows it isnt true and that it is to just make him stop and think, she wont mind at all)

so so angry right now.

i am sorry but are these his kids.. he has NO RIGHT to say no to watching them.. that is horrid!! that just makes me angry reading it..

Not to compare but i am gonna.. my DH works night shifts. .then doesnt sleep during the day so he can have the kids and most days gets only 4-5 hours sleep.. If he gets really tired and needs a break he rings my mum and she helps.. no big deal.. she is great!

they are his responsibility.. no one elses.. no way should your mum be watching them if he is home.. NO WAY!! Ughh.. how do u stay calm?? I would just leave them with him and leave it at that.. and to make an eg, your right, when his daughter visits, tell him u wont be watching her!! GRRR
That is just downright disgraceful.

No this century, would my DF dare do such a thing, maybe because i am like a 5 foot hulk with PMS when he does something utterly stupid.

I really cannot see how you have not got a ready made grave in your backyard for him. It's disguting that he won't even look after his own kids. I feel for you sad And i think you are doing right by saying that you won't look after his child. As they say two can play at that game.

I hope he mans up for your sake love.
well just go to work and let him deal with his kids

mum of 3 boys aged 11, 13 and 14

Maybe start NOing him. When he wants tea tonight or his clothes washed then say "NO!!"...I could go on!! If he doesn't want except the responsibilty of being a family exclude him from it for a while?? I thought my DH can be painful at times but he at least stays home 2 days a week with our 2 kids so they are not in full time child care.
I would be so angry also. I would be saying that you will not look after her daughter. You need to be stronger and not give him a choice just say you will be looking after the kids. They are his as well not only your responsability.

I am guessing that you have gone back to work to help the family financialy so surley he could help you a little around the house and with the kids. I know kids in our house is a joint things I didn't make them all by myself so expect my husband to help with them as well.

Good luck I hope that you situation get better. Good luck with the job hope that it all works out.


That is beyond pathetic. I don't give a rat's if it's his project, hobby or whatver. He chose to have kids, his first duty and responsibility is to THEM. If you had something you were so obsessive about, would he do the same for you??? From the sounds of it, a big fat NO.

If I were you, I would now leave ALL of his clothes for him to wash, his food for him to cook, and any other damn thing you do for him he can now do for himself. If he asks, tell him you are too busy looking after your children to have time for his crap. If my partner didn't have time to care about his family, he sure as hell wouldn't be a part of my family.

Same as PP, my partner usually works 6 or more months a year on night shift. Getting 4 - 5 hours sleep a night (often less) and I work during the day, so he looks after them then. It's a lot to take on, and he often cooks, cleans and takes them out as well. Because he loves his children, and wants the best for them.

I agree with Skippy. If he doesn't man up, get out a frying pan asap.
WTF??? This man doesn't deserve to be a father with that god you aren't even asking him to do much, he is home anyway. Honestly I think you'd be better off on your own! One less kid to clean up after lol. Seriously though....he needs a wakeup call and fast.

DS - Nov 2008 & DD - Feb 2012

Woah! I can't believe what I'm reading, they are HIS kids! holy moly momma you gotta stand up that that rubbish! uncool VERY uncool!

Yep I agree with the others..if he cant do something for you..dont do anything for him..what goes around comes around. gasp

I really cannot see how you have not got a ready made grave in your backyard for him.

funny you say that...........i own an excavator, and it's in teh backyard right now! lol

i was already peeved at him last night, so much that i couldnt even eat tea (long story short, early this year, he had this 'mate' who was very sly and almost made us loose our business, and had our house raided by the cops for a completely fabricated reason, all because his girlfriend left him and he blamed me for some god unknown reason) he caused so much trouble for DH (we lost customers because of him, one of which was amjor customer) and DH stopped talking to him...............but last night i went into the shed and DH didnt see or hear me come inand he was onteh ohone to this guy, and as tellin him everything, and wondered why i went back inside and didnt want to talk to him.

i just dont have the energy to fight him over it. i shouldnt be surprised, wheni had a hysterectomy last year, he refused to have the kids so my sister had to have them, he didnt even go see them while i was in hossy, and he couldnt come see me one day cos he secretly went night clubbing and was too sick to come in...........too bad for me i was lying there freaking out as i still didnt know if it was cancer or not, i found out about 6 months later that he went out by accident when we ran into one of his mates who i hadnt met before)

im just so over it.

I had to call in, on my first week of work, and tell them I couldnt come in as I had noone to watch the kids!

I would not have called in, I would have still gone to work, they are his kids, he is more than capable of looking after them. If you had left the house he would have had no choice but to look after them. He is being very selfish.
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