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How would you have reacted? Lock Rss

I had friends over the other. My DH went outside to talke "man stuff" with the guy and his wife stayed inside with me and their two kids and my DD. The kids were playing fine, but my DD is going through a stage where she gets a bit sooky when other kids touch her toys. Its not a big deal and I redirect her when she does it.

So my friends DS was playing with a toy and my DD came up to him and started sooking/whinging. It wasn't anything bad. I told my DD that it was ok for him to play with the toy and she needed to share. My friend then turns to my DD and says rudly "oh get over it!". I was shocked. I didn't say anything to her because I wasn't sure at first that I heard her right or that I interrpreted her tone of voice correctly. But the more I think about the more I realise that it has upset me that she spoke that way to my child. She wasn't being naughty, she wasn't hurting her DS, and she's only 19 months old. I just feel that there was no need for her to talk like that to my DD.

What do you think? How would you have handled it?
I would have been upset...but I can get a bit touchy when others 'discipline' or make an inappropriate comment towards DS seeing as he is a young toddler.

My MIL has said some off things to my DS too and I tend to pipe up with, "Hey, that's not really very fair." and go on to explain why it was inappropriate. I don't EVER do it condescendingly, I mostly just say it in a way that shows I think it was unnecessary and not something I would have done/said.

Yesterday an older woman with a thick Greek accent at a fast food shop was talking to my DS. He has never heard that accent before and could tell was a bit uncomfortable. He turned his head in the pram shyly. Another woman came up to where the Greek woman was standing, "Oh he is just being a grumpy sook, Mum". I snapped back with, "Actually he is just shy, he has never spoken with someone who has such a thick accent before, I would watch how you speak to your customers if I was you" and walked away.

When it comes to my child I am like a lioness. Discipline when appropriate is a different circumstance all together...but you are right, your DD is still young and your friend didn't have any right to say something so rude.
I agree, there was no need for her to make a comment like that. It's quite normal for a 19-month-old to be a little bit possessive, and it's quite rude and immature for an adult to speak to them like that! Being spoken to like that is hardly going to get a positive response from the child. Besides, it sounds like you were dealing with the situation and I don't think it is ever appropriate for another adult to butt in - they should only get involved if the child's own parent isn't dealing.

I'm not sure I'd actually do or say anything if I were you, since you didn't say anything at the time. It was probably just a thoughtless comment and she'd probably feel uncomfortable now if you brought it up - she may not have meant any harm and might not even remember saying it. However, I'd be listening the next time you're all together and if she were to say something similar, then you might not want to let it go a second time!
Thanks girls. Glad to know that I wasn't overracting with how I was feeling about it. My friend has a habit of saying things without thinking and it has gotten her into trouble. She has said some things before to me that has rubbed me up the wrong way but I have let it slide. This is the first time that she has said something to my DD and I have to admit my mother bear instinct came out about it. I think that if she does it again I'm going to say something to her about it. I was just so shocked that someone would talk like that to a child. When I hear or see kids like that I talk to them nicely and say "oh bubba it's ok" or something like that. There's no way that I would speak to anyone's child like this.

Thanks girls. Glad to know that I wasn't overracting with how I was feeling about it. My friend has a habit of saying things without thinking and it has gotten her into trouble. She has said some things before to me that has rubbed me up the wrong way but I have let it slide. This is the first time that she has said something to my DD and I have to admit my mother bear instinct came out about it. I think that if she does it again I'm going to say something to her about it. I was just so shocked that someone would talk like that to a child. When I hear or see kids like that I talk to them nicely and say "oh bubba it's ok" or something like that. There's no way that I would speak to anyone's child like this.


She doesn't sound like she thinks before she speaks.

I agree, if I was the other woman in that situation I would have said, "Its ok sweetie, I promise he will give it back." No reason to be nasty to a toddler!
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