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  5. is this rude to you? kids and electronic devices

is this rude to you? kids and electronic devices Lock Rss

yesterday we went to a wedding. it was a fair drive away and 2.5 hour wait between the church and reception.

my 6 year old ask to bring along the nintendo ds. i said NO, we are going to a church and a party you don't need it.

He was wonderful at the church and asked questions and was interested. we get to the reception and as soon as we walk in there are these two brothers, who were about 8 and 10 years old both playing the ds.

they continued to play it through out the whole reception and at one stage the older boy came and say next to my son at our table. they were then both in a trance and in there own world. next thing i know the boys dad comes and hands my son a ds to play.

i was mortified and told my dh to take it away.

i then went over to my son and told him it was very rude that he sat there and watched the ds and that he should be playing and having fun with the other kids, or dancing , or socialising with others. thankfully he listened and went off and played and danced and had fun.

meanwhile the other boy went back to his table and must of told his dad who came over and said that it keeps them calm and quiet!!! even people on our table (including my mum) was saying i should just leave him as it must be boring for him.

soooooo, is this rude or am i just a natzi mum?

The day i broke up with normal was the first day of my magical life...

i dont find it rude. i see it as along the lines of bringing pencils and colouring in books to restaurants (which is what we do) to keep the kids occupied IF they get bored. they come out once they start getting restless.

we went to my aunties 60th a couple of weeks ago and towards the end i let ds play with my iphone as he was getting bored and restless.

if there were things for him to do and kids for him to play with, then it wouldnt have come out.

My DH's aunts family let their son bring a DS, I was annoyed because not only was the son not on their invite, but he played it all through the service, he was old enough to know better, and played it all through speeches, and reception,

It is so so rude in my opinion.

I think both are acceptable. Though I would prefer my child socialize.

I think an 8 and 10 year old should be able to go to a wedding reception without requiring electronic baby sitters. What would the parents have done if the games weren't invented?

I think if the kids are disturbing others and you can't keep them under control then fair enough to try and occupy them with a game for a while.

The other parent should have asked you before giving your child one. Dont worry about the people who say its mean not to let your ds play with one. You know him better than anyone and know whats right fir him.

(Noddy's not fat ffs!)

these children had no social skills and i'm betting it's because they are never given the opportunity to socialize.

my son was asking him questions and the boy was just saying ssshhhhh to my son. my son went up to the younger one and asked if he wanted to play and they did for 5 mins before he started pushing and hitting my son in the head and then went back to his table to his ds and my son came crying to me.

if they get bored and restless then yeah let them play for a while but as i said they weren't even given the opportunity to get bored they had it in there hand the second they walked in.

i personally think it is lazy parenting. all the other parents were dancing with there kids, taking them out the front to play with the other children or just talking to them. they were the only ones there with a ds. they are old enough to be able to understand that in life sometimes we get bored and have to tolerate things.

The day i broke up with normal was the first day of my magical life...

Agree - form of lazy parenting.

I dont even understand why children of such a young age are having these device things shoved into their face.

i think saying they have no social skills a big call given you only met them for the day. pehaps their parents know them better than you do and giving them a game to occupy themselves during weddings (which even I get bored at most times) was the best thing for them to do for their kids and for the other people arounds them. i think you are being a bit harsh to call it lazy parenting. no one wants their kid to be THAT kid that cries or acts out at a special occasion.
I have no problem putting my hand up as a lazy parent!

Big cheer to the parent who comes prepared to the wedding, knowing their kid is going to need something as a distraction. Lets face it, if you're not in the wedding party, or too close to the action, a wedding can get pretty boring, even for adults. I for one, would rather my kids playing nicely in the corner with a DS, than being noisy, and arguementative with each other, and myself, and disrupting the whole reception. Even Mum and Dad need a night to enjoy sometimes, instead of having to constantly work on distracting their kids to keep them quiet, and if it means keeping the kids entertained with electronic devices, I am all for it. I don't like having to go to receptions to act as entertainment for the kids, and potentially miss the reception myself, because I am worrying about how my kids will behave.

I agree, it should not be shoved in their hands until an appropriate time soon as they walk through the door is a bit rude. And definately not at the church! And as for the hitting and pushing your son - that is unacceptable. It has nothing to do with the DS playing, and is more of a behavioural problem the parents should be dealing with. I would just remove my child from the situation in that case.

Sorry for the rant smile I consider myself lucky that my kids will make an effort to interact with others and have fun with whoever is there first, without having to resort to the DS or iphone, until the stage where it becomes boring for everyone! But saying that, they are usually up and dancing, long after the adults are! I am always prepared though....DS's, bag of small toys, colouring books, pencils, paper etc.

they are old enough to be able to understand that in life sometimes we get bored and have to tolerate things.

So are my kids, but it doesn't make it any easier for them to do it, especially after a long day. Kids will be kids, and they shouldn't be expected to act as an adult would, so as the adult, it's best to go prepared for such an occassion.

3 girls are enough...the shop is now shut!

I dont think it's rude either - IMO, weddings are not actually a place for children.. It is a very long day for everyone & lets face it, kids get bored. Weddings are not fun or exciting to children. I don't expect my children to sit through a 4/5 hour dinner without some kind of kid friendly entertainment..

We had children at our wedding & we provided a childrens table that was packed with colouring in & games, so there was no need for 'electronic babysitters', but had we of not provided that i wouldnt be upset by those kids using them - unless they had the volume up & were bothering other guests with the noise.
mum to t's we know this family and see them at all family functions and it is always the case. they have their faces in the ds's all the time and whenever my kids attempt to play with them they end up crying. the father actually said to my dh, it keeps them quiet. my boys were playing with these 2 sisters and those boys came out the front where they were playing and tried to join in only to be rough with the girls and make them cry (maybe the violent games they play) and the father told his girls don't play with them and enouraged them to play with my boys.

to me a wedding or any function/family gathering isn't about keeping your child quite it's about socialising, danicing, having fun, learning new things.

coffeeholic, as i said i don't have a problem with giving a child a form of entertainment WHEN they get restless/bored or disruptive and only for a while but to use it as a form or babysitter or to get them out of your hair to me is wrong. we go out as a family to have fun together. i am 37 weeks pregnant and have had a problematic pregnancy and was up dancing (more like hobbling) with my boys, taking them and introducing them to other kids so they can play. i'm not having a go at you, if it works for your kids and there is a good balance then that's great.

The day i broke up with normal was the first day of my magical life...

Nai&Beau wrote:
It's a wedding! How can you expect kids to be quiet and just socialise the whole entire wedding? It's boring for them. I don't think there is a problem with the kids playing on their DS's and that man giving your little man a DS was doing a favour!

really and you know this how? my son was fine without the ds, he wasn't bored or misbehaving. i would rather he learn social skills and play with other kids than have his face stuck in a ds and be in a trace unaware of the world around him.

he had no right to give my son that without asking just because he has no time for his children doesn't mean that others are like that too. the father himself has no social skills and all he could talk about with my dh was phone apps and games and he is in his late thirties. that's emabarressing!

The day i broke up with normal was the first day of my magical life...

No i dont find it rude at all. I think your being a little over the top. Weddings can be extremly long and boring for children. Gosh if its keeping them quiet, entertained and out of mishcheif, im all for them.

By reading all your replys i just get the feeling you dislike this paticular family in general. So your making a big deal over.. nothing!

So the father likes games and phone apps, thats obviously his 'thing', ever thought he might think your husband is boring and has nooo social skills, because he likes 'other' things? oh now that might be Embarrasing, hey!
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