Huggies Forum

Smacking being made illegal? Lock Rss

Already been made illegal over here in NZ but I'm not really a smacker so it didn't worry me.



the parents that need those boundaries shouldnt have kids though, as said in a dif post imo every parent has there own way to deal with there kids its just about what is effective.. i know my kids would run all over me if i didnt threaten with a smack... im not gonna get the belt out like was done in previous generations but i think theyre going from one extreme to another... it wasnt that long ago i read they wanted to bring the cane back into school...
Been illegal here for a few years now.

I don't smack so doesn't worry me.

Personally I can't comprehend telling ds to respect others and not to hit if I was to do that to him.



My Beau & Belle wrote:
Well it's illegal to hit anyone besides your child so yes I think it should be illegal to smack your children. I just don't get how it's ok to smack kids when it's not ok to smack anyone else...


+1 I agree.



So how do all of the non smacking families do it then?? because my kids dont have a favourite toy that i could take away, and i put them in timeout and make them stay there but they do it again anyway. I have tried the stern word but again they just do it anyway. Nobody (im not just talking about right now on the forum but with my inlaws etc) wants to offer advice on how you could discipline without smacking they just want to talk about how they would never do it..
And please dont think im being bitchy or anything, i really do want to know how other people manage..
2andanotherontheway wrote:
So how do all of the non smacking families do it then?? because my kids dont have a favourite toy that i could take away, and i put them in timeout and make them stay there but they do it again anyway. I have tried the stern word but again they just do it anyway. Nobody (im not just talking about right now on the forum but with my inlaws etc) wants to offer advice on how you could discipline without smacking they just want to talk about how they would never do it..


For me it's all about natural and logical consequences. If DS throws a toy it gets taken off him.
If he does something naughty that makes a mess he needs to clean it up. Today he threw a jam sandwich and it landed jam side down on the lino :/ So I made him put it in the rubbish and clean the jam up.
If he's not sharing a toy with a friend it gets put away. If he draws on something other than paper he gets his pencils taken off him for a while and he has to clean up the mess.
If he's jumping on my bed he gets warned that if he keeps doing it he will have to leave the room and not be allowed back in.
Things like that don't sound like 'punishment' and they aren't. It's more making him realise that when he acts that way there is a consequence.


ETA - I didn't think your post sounded bitchy at all smile




"Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do."

I personally think its stupid I don't think the government should be telling me how I can or can't parent. It won't stop the parents who abuse their kids.
my view is that smacking generally doesn't solve anything anyway. It is only going to make the child think that smacking is ok and they are allowed to do set. set by example I say!

on the other hand, my nephew came over the other day to tell me he was told at school that if anyone smacks him he should dial 111 and tell them. little over the time if you ask me!

I bet the police get a lot of wasted calls now.
but I agree huge diff between a smack on the bum or hand to beating them which Is what this law is doing, protecting those abused children.
Supermummy wrote:
nadz27 wrote:
the problem is, is it doesn't actually stop people beating their children, which I think was the point over here (haven't read the article you posted). there is still on general one article a week in the paper of a child being beaten to death and often the family around close ranks so who ever did it doesn't really get punished (in most cases) because the people who beat their children tend to not care about the law IYKWIM

That's my view. All it does is punish those who try to do the right thing by making someone who gives a little tap on the hand to stop their child touching something hot or whatever out to be a criminal yet those who it's designed to stop (those who beat their kids to death) actually don't really care about whether the law says its ok or not...


They also say that nz has one of the highest rates of child abuse. But what have they done abut it ?
The only thing they have done is to introduce a law that says parents are not allowed to smack their children. They have not put anything in place to teach parents how to affectively discipline their children.
Our government does not do much to help parents empower themselves in my opinion, I find it really frustrating.
I just hope that the Australian government does put things in place that helps parents learn alternatives.

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Zinkles wrote:
For me it's all about natural and logical consequences. If DS throws a toy it gets taken off him.
If he does something naughty that makes a mess he needs to clean it up. Today he threw a jam sandwich and it landed jam side down on the lino :/ So I made him put it in the rubbish and clean the jam up.
If he's not sharing a toy with a friend it gets put away. If he draws on something other than paper he gets his pencils taken off him for a while and he has to clean up the mess.
If he's jumping on my bed he gets warned that if he keeps doing it he will have to leave the room and not be allowed back in.
Things like that don't sound like 'punishment' and they aren't. It's more making him realise that when he acts that way there is a consequence.


ETA - I didn't think your post sounded bitchy at all smile

+1
I agree with 80s baby.

We need more education for parents on other methods more than anything. I know so many parents who's go to response in any situation is to yell and smack. There are so many other methods and they work they just require more thought and time.
- prevention
You think ahead and plan things to avoid problems. Eg. You need to go shopping but its getting close to lunch time so you take lunch with you so your not shopping with hungry cranky kids. Or a particular item in a shop causes tantrums so you use a different shop or take a different path through the shop.
-communication
This is both prevention and reactive parenting. You explain things before hand and at the time. When the child does something wrong you explain why. Eg "tommy you must not through toys or they will break and then you won't have any". Before going into the shops you explain that "we are going to xyz and then home"
- timeout
Time in time out is relative to age 1yr=1MIN you give one warning "tommy stop jumping on the couch or go to time out" if the child continues you place them in timeout. The aim is to take away attention so you don't get angry and you don't give eye contact. At the end of the time you explain why they are in timeout and offer a hug. Timeout works best when the timeout space is in the main area of the house not the child's bedroom.
-consequence
When a child loses a possession or privilege as a consequence of negative behaviour
-natural consequence
When parents allow and offer explanation of natural consequence when the child displays negative behaviour.

And there is more.
The thing is that all of these require time and consistency.




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