Huggies Forum

BULLYING AT SCHOOL....... Lock Rss

OMG! I was aware that bullying was a problem, but some of these accounts have my blood running cold! I am SO glad we homeschool!!

Not having the experience with this, I can't really comment - but, coincidentally, I have just recently read a couple of things about bullying. Will add the links at the end ... but also wanted to say that DS (7 years) does Taekwondo, which also encourages non-violence and gives tips & instructions on 'stranger danger' and how to extricate yourself from someone trying to grab you etc.

Two articles I was reading just a couple of days ago were -

ABC Health Matters - The Pulse http://www.abc.net.au/health/thepulse/s1925630.htm
where they mention a couple of books ..."Bullying in schools and what to do about it" and "Stop the Bullying" by Dr Ken Rigby.

And this one - Natural Born Bullies - is an interesting look at the causes of bullying behaviour
http://www.naturalchild.org/robin_grille/natural_born_bullies.html
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For those who are having issues with schools not responding to bullying I have one peice of advice, Have a meeting with the principal and explain what the problems are (quite often they have no idea) and let them know that if nothing is done to rectify the problem then you will be seeking advice from your lawyer and notifying the Department of Ed about the lack of co-operation from the school. I did this when my son was having issues with a child and I said that and the child was removed from the playground banned for a week from being in the playground his parents were notified and the child was closely watched. You know after finally being told that it isnt acceptable he stopped doing it. Seems he didnt know his actions were wrong.
Parents need to take a stand, dont just move your child to a new school as the problem is still there and will effect other children.
Ness
Posted by: Baylia
Those karate classes sound great.. I'm in WA.. can someone let me know where they hold these classes? and how much they are.



Jo, we're in NSW and the Karate school our DS goes to only has 3 dojos in our area, but they are looking to expand across the country in the near future. My DS absolutely loves it and DD is itching to start, but she has to wait until next year when she's 3 LOL. Just check you local yellow pages and go in and have a look at them and talk with them about their kids programs to see if they're suitable. I know a lot of places don't teach kids until they are school age.
Heather, You need to let the Principal of your son's school know every detail of what is happening to your child. Teachers have so many responsibilties that they can't keep track of everything that is going on and if your son seems happy enough then the alarm bells won't be ringing. You can teach your child to stand up for themselves but when they are being targeted and hurt that is too much for them to cope with .You need to be their voice and make sure they are safe in the playground. Go to the Principal every day if you have to but don't expect your child to be able to manage a very difficult situation. This is not a problem that goes away in the first year , it raises its ugly head everywhere and until the bullies are dealt with they will continue to cause upset.
Hey
MV: There are signs up everywhere around our town, I first saw a banner hanging on a school fence. If you just go to your local martial arts center and ask, most have programs for small kids.

Baylia: Where abouts in WA are you from? We are from WA too, although are living in far noth QLD atm, itching to go back!!!! Ring your local martial arts center, most PCYC's run programs like these too, if you live in a small country communities sometimes they run them out of the community hall or something similar, not sure the prices yet, will keep you posted, will be sending DS after this baby 10 sleeps to go!!!!

Hi all,

My son was bullied in Kindy, yr 1 and yr 2. Yr 1 & 2 was at a different school as we had shifted to the country. The school was useless in dealing with it. We had meetings with the principal who was scared of the kid's dad as he had been in jail...

Yr 1 my DS1 was at the school for a month but in that time his school bag disappeared before morning tea, he was beaten up in the toilets by these two boys who were cousins whilst he was going to the toilet. What stopped them causing any physical damage was my friend's older DD stepping in. I rang legal aid as i was upset, angry and worried for my son as he was acting out. He couldn't understand what he was doing that was wrong for these boys to be so mean to him. I finally rang legal aid who reminded me that whilst me son is in their care they have a duty of care towards him and what was happening was a failure to provide him with a safe and secure environment. BUT even upon going into battle with this new info i was stonewalled with "Oh the boys bolted afterwards and as it is the last couple of days of school what can we do??"

I pulled my son out for the remainder of term as it was the last week but then it all started again in the new year BUT this time there was a new principal who wasn't afraid to suspend these boys. They were destroying classrooms, breaking into the school, stealing the keys to the school BUT the thing that had people shaking their heads was these boys couldn't be expelled until they had been suspended 20 times. The principal had had enough like most of the parents at school...

It ended up these boys were moved to another district as they kept getting into "too much trouble" according to the parents....

We have just recently moved back to the kid's previous school which is smaller and so much better. BUT the problem we have now is the kid down the road is a right brat and a couple of times DS has retaliated and he has been the one too get caught not the other child. It is very frustrating, you tell your child too stand their ground and not take it BUT on the other hand it seems the one who responds by hitting back is the one to get caught.

I have now told my son to stay away from this child which seems to have worked and the school is great about it, I just wish that kids didn't have to go thru all this crap as they have so much else to worry about these days....

Nicole

I'm torn on this one because i'm a teacher and see it. Some background info - i teach gr 1/2, so primary, in a school with 700 kids. Over 90% of our students are from other countries.

First - we DO try to stop it, but it's impossible to be everywhere all of the time.

It's hard to stop something you are unaware of - the parents alwasy assume the kids are telling the teachers but often they're not. Before you go storming off to the principal, or screaming at the teacher, make sure he/she knows about the bullying! I had a parent come into the classroom last Tuesday and not only yell at me, but threaten a gr 2 boy in front of the entire grade! Now what's that if not bullying - an adult telling an 8 year old 'if you don't stop i'm going to take care of you'!

Kids start bullying when they're BORED! That's when they walk around the school in their posse trying to find trouble!! If that's happening at your school try to get them to acknowlegde a need for more equipment/playgrounds/ activities during lunch times, and then harrass them until they deliver! We have quiet areas for the kids who don't like running around, where they can sit and read or talk quietly. We also have outdoor chess sets that the kids are always playing. Although saying that, we desperately need more playing equipment, as in slides, climbing frames, etc, because once the kids hit gr 3 thay aren't allowed on our adventure playground. If you don't like soccer or football then you're pretty much stuffed!

PLEASE acknowledge that YOUR child might not always be an angel! They ALL sometimes tell half-truths, to make themselves seem to be in the right. I'm not saying to always assume your child is lying, but at least understand that they have the capacity to lie!

Sometimes parents really need to grow a thicker skin - in my experience, nearly half the time it's the parent who gets upset, not the child. By storming up and yelling they are only making matters worse for their child. Kids can find the smallest thing to make fun of, so you're mum going off-tap in front of the school is only adding fuel to the fire.

Finally, if you have made sure the teacher knows, and have had no success in stopping it, go to the principal. If the principal does nothing, kick and scream until somebody hears you - but make sure you have all the facts first. A school cannot afford to ignore bullying these days, but if you are ranting or don;t have all the information then they might dismiss you and your concerns.

and now as a mum!

My nearly 4 year old and my 2.5 year have been taught to turn around, face their tormentor and say, in a very loud voice, "STOP IT! I don't like it!". Then if the kids doesn't stop, they tell the teacher (carer at creche) or adult. So far it works and we haven't had to worry about anything else. But "My daddy's a poilceman and he can beat up your daddy" is always an option as they get older!! LOL

Dette, DS 06.03, DS 10.04, DD 03.06 & Due Sept 07!

I feel that parents need to go to the school and see the princple about the situation and get it solved. If that doesn't happen say you will go to a higher authority who will sort it out. I don't think that teaching you child to punch the bully back if they hit them first is going to solve the problem. Wouldn't that make your child just as bad as the child who is bullying in the first place. We teach our kids that hitting is wrong, then what lesson are we teaching them if we say it is okay to punch someone who hurts them back. I think that would send mixed signals. Parents need to rally in having a No Bully Zone in there school, as I know many schools have that in place and are working for them. Last note most bullies do it to make themselves feel good about themselves or they don't know what they are doing is wrong.
maria saker

Maria Saker

This has gone to the principal, the teacher just couldn't deal with it anymore, they had tried different avenues, having more teachers outside at playtime etc, but still nothing was working.

I had a phone call from the principal the other day saying my son had been called to his office along with the other kid, long story short, my son did nothing, the other one was the one who strangled my son, but he lied and told the principal that Haydn threw the first punch, it took a bit but eventually Haydn got his point across that he had done nothing and the other kid admitted to just strangling him and nothing else happening. If Haydn had hit him, and first, in a way, this kid would have deserved it, he has been bullying Haydn since the start of the year, so both myself and my husband would have been okay with it, and would have happily told the principal our opions on what is happening. Though deep down, I don't really wont my son retaliating because then it is him who is in trouble.

Has been a good day today, no phone calls from the school, always a good thing! Am just hoping now that the principal can step in and sort this problem out, there is got to be a soloution to this bullying in the classroom.

I think though in the long run, it also comes down to discipline at home and what you teach your kids at home.

Heather

This is where the sysytem sucks, your child retaliates and gets in trouble!!!! Your child i sbullied they tell this child to bugger off (in no uncertain terms)and then they get in trouble HA, to me this is laughable. We have given our children the right to retaliate (they are 9 & 12) but have also told them that there could be consquences. I am not big on "always doing the right thing" I think this puts a lot of pressure on them, they are taught to respect others, but if comeone makes them fell bad, stupid, sad etc etc then they have the right to speak up!!

i am reaky stuck with this one, although if my kids retaliate and are then in strife, they willnot be in rtrouble at home for it.
My son has always had trouble at school, by that i mean, he doesn't know where he fits in really, he's not a sporty kids, or a nerdy kid, and there is no place fr him int he dynamic of it all, he is however a silly kid who can say really silly things to people (kids his own age), he thinks he's funny and having a laugh with them about whatever it may be, a t.v show a song, anything, but to me it comes across as a smarty pants sometimes attitude(he's 11 next week). So there are kids at his school that just don't take any of it, whether its funny or not if they don't want to hear it, they casn just hit him, usually a punch in the stimach or hand u the back to break it kind of thing. i have spoken to the teacher when my son was saying he had tummy aches all the time and didn't want to go to school, and there are a few foster kids in his class alone (not to mention how many in the school) and the teacher said, they have had such hard lives, they will just hit him and there are no second chances, once they take a dislike to you thats it for the whole school life!!! So i try and teach him to not say anything, that might not be funny to other people and think about waht he says, not everybody shares his sense of humour, including me sometimes! So when he comes home and tells me what has happened during the day, i have to filter thru it all, all the while believing him and being on his side and then take a trip to the teacher if need be and ask my own questions without him knowing i am doing so.. I always tell my kids to not give money or food to anybody when they ask, sometimes kids have been nasty to them when they won't buy them things at tuckshop, but they need to be strong and i will always back them up, it is heartbreaking sometimes when you are not there to witness it. I know my son can be just silly, but goodness if my 9yo daughter came home upset, i would really be worried, she is the social butterfly, loves everyone, can't stand meanness. I hope she goes thru ok.
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