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hubby's working away Rss

Hi all. I have posted this before but i really need some advice. My husband has applied for a job in the mines which will be 2 weeks on, 1 week off. I am very dependant on my husband and hate being away from him. He is my everything and i am unsure as to how i will cope. I have faith in myself to do it but what bothers me the most is that our marriage is perfect right now and we are so happy, (apart from money issues) and i don't want him working away to affect our marriage. Does anybody's partner work away and how had is affected your relationship?
hey stacey. we are also looking into my partner working in the mines. Until just recently he was working night shift so we barely saw him at all. i wont lie this had a huge affect on our relationship but that was also because he had no social life either because of it and he became miserable. but what we did was we had one day a week (even though he was buggered because he was barely sleeping) and we would just do anything together like take cooper to the markets or the park or beach. There is a positive way to think of it also. when they work normal hours you only get them a few hours a day, when they work 2 weeks on one week off the time you do get with them is quality time! just make sure the week that he is home you spend lots of time together. i know it's hard to believe but u do get used to sleeping by yourself and u start to enjoy your own company. Also join a mothers group and there's always things like playgroup. I know im not in the exact same position as you as my hubby was around but just never awake! Although after a year of night shift he was depressed and he's just started a new job!(yay!) if he does get a job in the mines we've decided he will only do it for 2-3 years to get us ahead and then we will go back to normal. Just remember you are stronger then you think!
Sorry it's so long!
Hi Fionamercer, thanks so much for your reply. That's what we are looking at doing, just for a few years until we get on top and acheive what we would like to. He onlt gets sundays off at the moment which is hard as he wants to spend time with us, his parents and his friends. I am just worried that i will not be able to cope with out him. I think i'll be okay. It's just the more i think about it and the more people say (when its negative) really puts me off. I guess the reality is, that if we want to get ahead for our family than it is a good idea. Its not like he'll be gone forever. And like you said, we get 1 whole week of quality time.

Thanks heaps, you have really reassured me smile
Hi stcaeyB18,
Recently DP got a big job to do in Canberra (we live in wertern Sydney) so i didn't see him for alomst a full month. Everything was great when he left but for some reason when he got back he told me he was having second thoughts and might want to call the wedding off (due to be married in March). He can't even give me a reason why!!! When he gets home from work after being away he says he is too tired to play with DD or take me out for dinner etc. He will be away for the next 2 years on and off and I think for me it has place ALOT of stress on our relationship and we are now trying to sort through our issues together. You need to be strong and talk to eachother. Good Luck, sorry this is not a positive story but i hope things are different for you!! Godd Luck.
Thanks Chloes Mumma, i do like to hear all sorts of feedback whether its positive or negative, We want to be fully prepared and discuss every pro and con to make sure it is the right decision for us.

I'm sorry things have worked out the way they have for you. Hopefully you can work through your issuses together and things start to look more positive. Good luck wth everything smile
[Edited on 05/09/2007]
Hi,

I have given my views and the pros and cons I have seen before - and just wanted to say that it really is a trade off. Extra money to sacrfice family time and day to day togetherness.

For some it works well and some it does not work at all. There are negatives- including affairs, depression (on both sides), plus fatigue related problems if the partner has to drive for hours after the end of a shift to get home.

I know you don't want to hear the negatives but i am sorry - they exist. Doesn't mean it will be the case for you- and I wish you and your hubby all the best.

I live in a mining community- I am surrounded by friends who live in this sort of situation everyday- I have seen how hard it can be- which is why I live out here instead of somewhere else. It can be a tough lifestlye for both parties but by at least knowing the negatives you can somewhat prepare yourself.

On the positive side- I have some friends who love it- they get a bed to themselves for 2 weeks- then when hubby comes home they pack up and head off for a week away somewhere. Some can't imagine living life any other way.

Good luck with it all.
hi deegreen, thanks for your reply. I would love to hear the negatives. I am open for everyones opinion/experience. I know it will be tough, on both of us. We have made a very strong pact that if we do go ahead and one of us isn't coping we will pull out. My husband has his job here whenever he wants it so he can come back at any time. He will be flying out there so he doesn't have to do any driving. The way i am thinking at the moment that if we never try it, we will never know. We may be one of the families who can't handle the lifestyle at all, or we may be the opposite and it suit our family. We have discussed this for sometime, including all the pros and cons. We are a very open marriage with a lot of comprimise, support and communication. We hae always gone into things 100% together and i have strong faith that we will remain this way. After 6 months we review it and if we aren't coping he will come home. I know it isn't all black and white and it will be hard with just my son and i for 2 weeks at a time. I am such an indecisive person and this is very hard for me. So as positive as i try to make it sound i am scared we will make the wrong decision.

Thankyou for pointing out what you did. Its gives me more to think about and help make our decision. I am open to all everyone has to say.smile
hi, my DH went away to the mines in the NT at the beginning of this year but we only lasted 2 months. he did 4 weeks on 1 off. It was the hardest the first 3 days after he left, I was in tears so much the day he went. The time seemed to go so slowly for me, but we got through it and the second time was a little easier. He got really sick at the end of the second month but he was going to go back. I know he was really unhappy and I overheard him tell his friend he didnt want to go back but was doing it for the money. I went and talked to him later and said I didn't care about the money as we would much prefer him to the money anyday. I didn't really want him to go back either. so he stayed. it had no bad effect on our relationship probably made it better but it was great before that anyway. So while we really arn't getting ahead we are happy that we are all together. I don't ever want to live without him again, so the only way i'd do it again if it was a place we could all go and live for a while. Definatly worth a try though otherwise you'll always think what if! Best of luck with your decision 2 weeks is much better than 4 I probably would have handled 2 weeks heaps better. thought i'd add that I found out i was pregnant 2 days after he got back so it may have been my hormones then too that didn't want him gone again
Hi sara c. Thankyou for sharing your story with me. I think its fantastic that you stuck together and did what was right for your family. Thats how i feel. If it doesn't work out then he will just come home. We aren't money hungry people at all, we just to provide a good start for our family. Also i only see him every sunday as it is, but we do sleep in the same bed at night so that will be very hard. So you must still be pregnant than i'm guessing????? Well if you are congratualtions and good luck with everything smile
First off, Good Luck with your decision. I personally haven't had any experience with a hubby that does FIFO work but I have a couple of friends who have, so I'll try a relay their experiences to you. Couple number one, their marriage has just split, all very sad as they have a beautiful 2.5 year old daughter, their problem was and this was admitted by my friend that when hubby was home they just continued their life as like when he was away, she would still do everything on her own with DD and he would go fishing, visiting his mates etc, they never spent the time he had at home together. Sorry thats the negative story.
Couple number two and this is the positive, they are still as much in love as the day they met, its beautiful, when her DH comes home after his stint away she makes herself unavailable to friends so they get to spend time together as a family, he normally gets home at 10 at night, and shes told me she has a bottle of wine chilled ready and shes in her naughty underwear and when the kids wakeup in the morning dad is home. they live for each other and its truly is beautiful to see how much they love each other. I think the secret is to spend the time together as a family when they're home, I'm not saying don't see your friends when he's home but maybe have a few days just to yourselves then do the socilaising thing. I hope that helps you. Sorry for the long post.

Hi staceyb

I have never been in this situation but money isnt everything,yes we need money to survive but it doesnt bring happiness, the more money peopel earn the more you spend and more you want so you might find that even though its good money working on mines ,you will spend it and be in the same boat. no one can put a price on family time. good luck with it all

Hi Stacey,
My dh has been in Tassie for the past 7 weeks working,
he did come home for 2 days then went back again.
I must admit its bl@@dy hard without him being here
I guess I just have to cope its his job and he's doind it
for us his family... I think it will make our relationship
heaps better I can already tell when he calls me. He's coming home next week thank god so I will b able to tell u more
then...

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