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So how do you work out whether to have another child or not?

Hi Alex,
I am in a real quandry about whether to have another child or not. I am now 38 years old and had my first baby at 36. I have had a hemi-thyroidectomy to remove cancer in 2004 and was declared clear (although I worry about it coming back as happens so often). I didn`t need follow up chemo and have had regular checksups but no scans.

I was told I`d have to be watched closely during pregnancy and all went well with my first apart from heavy bleeding at 9 wks. We were told I had to take things steady and that a possible cause was fibroids on my uterous - this ended up causing problems throught out with not being able to lift anything heavy (including shopping bags and cutting pumpkin became impossible, and also extra soreness/ tightening of the uterous on the side of the fibroids. I wonder how my body would be able to cope with a second pregnancy while also looking after an active toddler (she is currently 17 1/2 months).

I also wonder about what is considered to be the `best` age difference for children? Many people are telling me the sooner the better. I think I would have gone againg sooner than this if it had not been for the problems I have had getting my daughter to sleep without seperation anxiety!

We also worry about the cost of another child (as we have most baby stuff - it would be more the cost of schooling that worries us) We are educated people however we are not earning much at the moment with the economic downturn barely one wage between us.

So how do you work out whether to have another child or not? Which should be most important - money, health of mother, or sibling age?


Answer: Hi Kate, These are all really big decisions and they really have to be decided between you and your partner. There are for and against sides to all situations and you need to decide what is important to you now and in the future. As far as having another baby it is better for you to try sooner rather than later as your age may determine if you are successful and your body tends to cope better if you are a bit younger. It can be difficult in the first few months if you have children relatively close together but then they tend to play well together later when they are close in age. Talk all this through with your partner so that you can reach a decision that oyu both feel happy with and you won’t regret. Best wishes, Alex
Answered: 01 Jun 2009