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Sarah
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Other people's children

Other people's children

At a park playdate recently I was startled to see a toddler standing at the top of a slide pushing the other kids. No, not pushing them down the slide, but back off the ladder so they fell to the ground.

After watching the second small child plummet to the ground and burst into tears, I shot over. In the calmest voice possible I suggested that wasn’t a very nice thing to do.

The toddler in question grinned at me sweetly.

And shoved yet another child off the slide.

I looked round for a parent or guardian but no one was nearby. In my best “teacher” voice I asked them to stop pushing people over as hurting people is not okay.

It’s rare to meet toddlers who are genuinely nasty. My three were certainly no angels and had their share of tantrums and meltdowns. Usually these occurred at crucial or stressful times. I’ve seen biters and hitters in action as well. Again, to me that’s all pretty normal stuff at this age. In fact, the stats support that by saying about one in five kids will bite and about half of them will hit during the toddler years.

So I felt pretty sweaty and stressed out about dealing with a child that wasn’t mine. I know how frustrating it is when other people have tried to discipline my kids over the years.

Fortunately the mum then came rushing over. The poor woman had been taking another sibling to the toilet. I explained what I’d seen. By this time another parent whose child had been knocked to the ground had also come over and told her as well. The mum was fantastic.

She immediately removed him from the slide and took him over to where they had been sitting.

She was speaking calmly and quietly and it was pretty clear she was in control of it all.

Have you ever had to deal with another child like this? What did you do?

10 Member comments Post a reply

Avatar SarahBlogger



After a recent encounter at a park, Sarah wonders how do you cope when a child is bullying others?

Read the full blog post: Other people's children

Posted 16 March 2011 - 11:59 PM

Avatar thankfulone

Hi there. Im not sure where to write this, but here I go. I have a 2 year old daughter who is beautiful and a 9 month old boy. However. I am finding the tantrums challenging. When Im home my 2 year old will have a tantrum, I will ask her to go to her room and come out when she can be happy. She does this and all is ok.
When we are out however different story. For example, yesterday I was at my mothers group at a friends house and my little girl screamed (loud high pitch scream that she has)because she wanted something and I tried to distract her, she got worse. So I put her in a corner and walked away. She calmed after a few seconds, happy again then a few mins later it happened again. This happens when she wants food, if I say no more you have had enough (she would eat all day if she could) she screams and carries on. I try and praise her often, she is very active and in constant need of doing something. I need advice on what to do when she tantrums when out, or at peoples houses. I was so upset yesterday when i left my friends house. I feel so alone sometimes, and hate going out for fear she will tantrum. My hubby is great but im the one home all day with them and I love my kids but i feel hopeless and like im a bad mum

So sorry for long post, I have no one to really vent this all out to. Its easy for people to say im a good mum, but I just feel im not.
When i go to the supermarket even if its just myself and my 2 year old, guaranteed EVERY time i go to the check out, she screams and carries on. If people say hello to her she screams. Its hard because she is so cute and people like to say hi but then she screams so loud. I try to ignore her at the check out but its hard.
Also with food, she will ask me all day for food. I try and distract her with activities, but when we are out she just wants food,.

Posted 26 March 2011 - 11:18 PM

Avatar R+J=A+E+G


Hi there. Im not sure where to write this, but here I go. I have a 2 year old daughter who is beautiful and a 9 month old boy. However. I am finding the tantrums challenging. When Im home my 2 year old will have a tantrum, I will ask her to go to her room and come out when she can be happy. She does this and all is ok.
When we are out however different story. For example, yesterday I was at my mothers group at a friends house and my little girl screamed (loud high pitch scream that she has)because she wanted something and I tried to distract her, she got worse. So I put her in a corner and walked away. She calmed after a few seconds, happy again then a few mins later it happened again. This happens when she wants food, if I say no more you have had enough (she would eat all day if she could) she screams and carries on. I try and praise her often, she is very active and in constant need of doing something. I need advice on what to do when she tantrums when out, or at peoples houses. I was so upset yesterday when i left my friends house. I feel so alone sometimes, and hate going out for fear she will tantrum. My hubby is great but im the one home all day with them and I love my kids but i feel hopeless and like im a bad mum

So sorry for long post, I have no one to really vent this all out to. Its easy for people to say im a good mum, but I just feel im not.
When i go to the supermarket even if its just myself and my 2 year old, guaranteed EVERY time i go to the check out, she screams and carries on. If people say hello to her she screams. Its hard because she is so cute and people like to say hi but then she screams so loud. I try to ignore her at the check out but its hard.
Also with food, she will ask me all day for food. I try and distract her with activities, but when we are out she just wants food,.


Hi, I have a 2 yr old too! fun times hey!
I think they pick up on your anxiousness. When im out i get the yelling and screaming too.Not often but often enough! I find its more often when i am uptight. I try counting to ten and breathing it helps me relax even if she is still having a yell. At the checkout i just make a joke or fob off her scream '2 yr olds hey!' thats my stock standard response. I have quite a tall and good with words 2 yr old and people quite often mistake her for an older child so i like to get across that she is only 2 quickly.
I also repeat things in my head like' they are not looking down upon you, they are taking pity and remembering when their children were 2.'
Its really easy to get lost in the whole, OMg everyone is looking at me like i am the most horrible mother in the world, thoughts.

With the food, my DD is the same wants food ALL the time. I usually just get her food. Who am I to tell her if she is hungry or not...when we are out esp at the supermarket i will grab her something to munch on, a bag of grapes, an apple, punnet of strawberries, bread roll, anything really although we dont do junk food in my house so she only get sthe choice of fruit/healthy snack. Oh and i find more tantrums ahppen when my DD is hungry.

So my tips would be- when you are out, feed her! At a friends house, feed her! lol
No in all seriousness, if you are having trouble at a friends house maybe ask your friend to ask her to stop yelling. I find another adult asking my kid to do something works wonders!

ok so now i have lost my train of thought and dont know what i have answered from your post so excuse my babbling! But you are not alone! i think all parents of 2 yr olds have their moments! And you are a good mummy but i know it IS REALLY hard when youa re home with them all the time!

BTW i have a few good recipes for activites if you want them- playdough and slime. i made them to day and that kept her entertained all morning!!

Posted 26 March 2011 - 11:57 PM

Avatar SarahBlogger


Hi there. Im not sure where to write this, but here I go. I have a 2 year old daughter who is beautiful and a 9 month old boy. However. I am finding the tantrums challenging. When Im home my 2 year old will have a tantrum, I will ask her to go to her room and come out when she can be happy. She does this and all is ok.
When we are out however different story. For example, yesterday I was at my mothers group at a friends house and my little girl screamed (loud high pitch scream that she has)because she wanted something and I tried to distract her, she got worse. So I put her in a corner and walked away. She calmed after a few seconds, happy again then a few mins later it happened again. This happens when she wants food, if I say no more you have had enough (she would eat all day if she could) she screams and carries on. I try and praise her often, she is very active and in constant need of doing something. I need advice on what to do when she tantrums when out, or at peoples houses. I was so upset yesterday when i left my friends house. I feel so alone sometimes, and hate going out for fear she will tantrum. My hubby is great but im the one home all day with them and I love my kids but i feel hopeless and like im a bad mum

So sorry for long post, I have no one to really vent this all out to. Its easy for people to say im a good mum, but I just feel im not.
When i go to the supermarket even if its just myself and my 2 year old, guaranteed EVERY time i go to the check out, she screams and carries on. If people say hello to her she screams. Its hard because she is so cute and people like to say hi but then she screams so loud. I try to ignore her at the check out but its hard.
Also with food, she will ask me all day for food. I try and distract her with activities, but when we are out she just wants food,.

I'm so glad you did write this. i have a feeling there are many of us who can really relate to how distressing it is. I went through a horror phase like this with Mr Small. I would have to apologise and leave places early because he was having huge tantrums and as for his meltdowns at the supermarket? EPIC.
The important thing is to keep going out. It's very hard staying home with little ones all day. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate with a 9month old and a 2 year old. (I remember it well)
With the food, what does she want to eat when she asks for it? Because I was thinking a snack box of healthy finger foods might be useful. Some kids are grazers, is she one?
R+J=A+E has given some awesome advice too. You are not a bad mum at all. You are going through a hard time. I have been there and you aren't alone.
With the tantrums when she is out, it might be worth talking through with her what you expect when you go out together beforehand. Maybe role play how she should behave when something upsets her. For instance sharing a toy or another child upsetting her. Get her to use her words rather than yelling. I'd also carry a "surprise bag" with toys to distract her with when you're out.
None of these things are failsafe but being "armed" may help. Please let me know how you go and if there is anything else anyone here can do.

Posted 27 March 2011 - 02:35 AM

Avatar zaytew

I need helP my 2 year old son throws massive tantrums and when he throws them he headbutts at the same time!! I've tried smacking him and putting him in the room and putting him in the corner but when he's in the corner he headbutts and everything he does but it doesn't seem to be working...I know it's normal for him to be chucking tantrums but I can't stop him from headbutting!!! If someone can help me before I go grey or tear my hair out it would great thank you

Posted 25 April 2011 - 06:32 PM

Avatar Little MaMa

My eldest went through a short head butting stage. To be honest I was at a loss as to what to do but discovered quickly that without an audience they did not last long. Also I didn't give any sympathy if she hurt herself which can be hard, but I would just say well that was a bit silly wasn't it, and your still not going to get what you want. She never really did it that hard though, it was an obvious cry for attention and a way to try and get what she wants. I have heard of children who do it hard enough to really injure themselves and if this is the case you may have to restrain them.

As for tantrums consistancy is the key. Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you give in to tantrums they will use them as a tool to get what they want. Though I have always been more flexible when we are out of the house(I would just feed them when out but have set meal times at home) I still have my rules. Distraction and time outs I will try first but if worst comes to worst I just pick them up and leave. I have carried kicking and screaming children from supermarkets more than once in my life.

It's hard and frustrating, I'm still going through it with my 3 year old but my 4 your old is getting much better so there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just stick to your guns and lay down the law, everyone has sympathy for a mum with a 2 or 3 year old having a tantrum (we have all been there) but a 10 year old having a tanturm is just wrong (at least in public)and that's exactly what happens if you don't teach young children that this behaviour gets them nowhere.

Consistancy now as hard as it is will save our sanities in the future.

Posted 25 April 2011 - 07:15 PM

Avatar Kaylablake

can you help me i have a fear of letting my daughter other kid i had her in daycare but she was biten on the 3 time and im scared the next time it mite be worst

Posted 06 October 2011 - 09:20 AM

Avatar Kaylablake

can you help im having a lot of problem my 2yr old daughter wont go to bed when i put her to bed i have to put to bed like 100 time and it go on until 10 pm at and when i put her to bed she crys until she throw up please help me i dont know what do

Posted 06 October 2011 - 09:31 AM

Avatar Riley&Sienna

when my 2 year old chucks a tantrum, I imitate his tantrum... I find this really works because he just looks at me and thinks 'what is she doing' and then he laughs at me. And its all over!!!! smile

Posted 06 October 2011 - 09:09 PM

Avatar beksparkles

i used to work in childcare, so i've seen all makes & models. it's easy as an ex childcare worker to pull kids up for their behaviour, even when they are not mine. i've pulled kids up at the playground to. i've done it without even realising... i get a little embarressed, as sometimes i feel like the parents are cranky with me, but luckily no-one has ever turned into motherzilla on me (unlike while i was working in childcare). if my child was being a bully i would want others to pull her up & tell me about it.

Posted 08 January 2012 - 03:08 AM

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