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Kathy i hope you arrived safe and sound.

i've just had about enough of all this.
Tia... during school week she wants to sleep in til 8 every morn... everyday for the last week she has woken at 5 sad comes into our room and wakes Noah so i have to get up. and then she is full on from there until she goes to bed. straight up wants brekky (no i havent had my coffee yet lol)
so most days i start my day at 4:30, when Alex wakes for a feed, by the time ive changed fed burped and settled him again Tia is awake and if by any chance she doesnt wake Noah up he is usually awake at 530. then Alex is up from 6-8 and in that time he usually needs another feed and can be quiet demanding/unsettled so i have to carry him, whilst trying to get the others brekky and drinks etc and making sure they dont get into mischief. Issie usually wakes 7-8 (my good girl lol) except this morn cos she was in our bed and Tia woke us all up at 5.

and today its raining so theres no chance i can chuck them outside for a while, as it is im sitting here in pants and jumper and they are running round in knickers and jocks ... crazy children.
i kinda forgot how demanding Tia was sad lol and cos she has learnt stuff at school (like how to be more controlling lol) she is constantly trying to drag the other two around and make them do what she wants, so then we end up with screaming (which i had 3 doing at 530)
apart from that they are good...
Alex on the other hand is for sale, his cutness just doesnt make up for his problems lol so far in his very short life : born at 36 weeks, heart murmur, constipation, reflux, chest infection, upper respiratory infection, diarrhea, wrong immunisation, and now he has oral thrush, mild dehydration and constipation. because of the thrush he cant suck his bottles properly, hence the dehydration/ and unsettledness. the constipation cos he isnt getting enough fluid. the stuff i got from the chemist for the thrush doesnt seem to be working, when i first got it he only had spots on his tongue, now his tongue is covered its on his lips and cheeks and gums. so taking him to the docs today at 11, going to ask about dairy intolerance (which i found out is quiet common in reflux babies) so might have to change his formula again sad
and because of all the above stuff he isnt sleeping all that well... period.
so most of the day he is unsettled and in my arms, which makes it hard dealing with the others, of a night i can get maybe 2 hr stretches. his gone from drinking almost 200ml to 40 every hr or so which is time consuming especially cos it takes 20+ mins to feed him that 40ml when before he was drinking 200ml in 20 mins sad

anyways have to go the kids are into mischief ...again

Bek ~ I don't know how you do it. You must be exhausted you poor thing. You know it is going to get better, eventually. Do you have any support from your MIL or would you prefer that she doesn't help? What about Tristain? Has he been pulling his weight? 8 days until the kids go back to school. I need to arrange an appointment with the Principal at Jack's new school. Hopefully it won't take long for him to get started. Then I need to find a Preschool for Lane and a playgroup for Luke and I. We found a house yesterday. We have put in an application and are now waiting for a response. Unfortunately it is up for sale. We are hoping the owners will be interested in doing a 12 month lease. Fingers crossed!

Kathy so sorry i havent been on for ages
been so busy sad

i tell you in all honestly im just about ready to walk from this life grrr
i get all the kids well and some thoughtless so and so will bring their sick child over and here we go again. Tia had the last week off at the end of term 1 because of it got her well she was fine all holidays and a friend came over with their sick kid and here we are again first day back she wakes up coughing... so she is home again, all 4 kids are sick Issie and Noahs asthma is going wild and Alex... well were do i start?

i just wish in a way i could go back. i dont know where to in a way but we have been in and out of hospital with him the last 2 weeks.. nothing too serious, dehydration/startvation... long story short he had oral thrush wasnt drinking hadnt had bowel movement for 6 days so they thought constipation (if he hasnt eaten how can he be constipated???) they gave him a suppository (which i later found out they are NOT suppossed to do if dehydrated) they didnt even do any xrays to find out what they were dealing with. they said if he still ahsnt gone when you come back (11/5) they will do one then i was like are you serious grrr

anyways he has been booked in to see a speech pathologist who can do test on him to find out about his reflux/sucking problems. we see her next week if tristain can get the time off work. hopefully Tia will be abck at school by then.

im starting to think i may have bipolar as i get quiet "high" and the sudden mood changes i mean theres a difference really isnt there i can just snap and it'll be over the littlest things. insignificant really.
like if im in one of my extremly good moods and im listening to music and tristian changes the song i feel like murdering him.
but im sick of going to the docs/hosp and be treated like an over reactive person. its not like that seriously. there is something wrong with me, and its not just depression, there is something wrong with my baby and its not just an unsettled baby. i just feel like giving up. Tristian hasnt been all that supportive lately and its frustrating but understandable, i mean its ALOT to deal with 4 kids and me. why is everything so hard. doesnt help that i havent been to my pysch in a while but in all honesty that is ahrd to, for me to get there i have to get tristain to finish work we have to work it in with school pick up and he has to sit in town with 3 or 4 kids(depending on time) for an hour.

and to make things worse is that i try to protect him from how bad im getting which i know i cant be doing cos thats what happened last year and all that.


anyways i hope you are good i'll stop now cos if i keep going i'll write a book. hope the boys are well and behaving. and that you have settled into your new life

Bek ~ I don't even know where to begin. You have so much going on at the moment you poor bugger. I don't understand why the doctors are not listening to you. Have you told them that you think you have Bipolar? Is there some sort of test that can be done? Are you going through Mental Health? I know what the system is like. I think you just have to keep pushing and make yourself heard. Have you explained to your psychiatrist how difficult it is to make the appointments? Do they provide some sort of home service? It may be worth looking into Bek. Does Issie & Noah still go to childcare? Does Tia's school provide after school care? There must be a way around it somehow Bek, even if it means Tristain has to mind them in town for 1 hour. It wouldn't kill him! Poor little Alex. That is ludicrous! I would be getting a second opinion if I was you. You must be so drained you poor thing. You deserve a huge pat on the back for coping with it all. GBH's xx

I might just have a story that will make you feel 'normal' again. We recently received some bad news. Roy's ex Sandra is sadly losing her battle with cancer. She was put into hospice 2 days ago. They have given her 2 days to 1 week to live. Nan (Roy's Mum) is flying to NZ on Tuesday. Roy will fly over for the funeral. I don't know what is going to happen but we 'hope' to get custody of his kids. Anna is 13 (14 in Nov) and Matthew is 9 (10 in June). I will keep you posted. Our thoughts & prayers are with Sandy, Anna, Matthew. Our hearts are breaking for everyone involved sad sad

On a lighter note, we received the keys to our house today! What a stressful week that has been. The truck is due to arrive on Sunday. We have been waiting all week for Roy's work to pay for the bond money & the 2 weeks rent in advance. Every day I have been checking the bank and every day it hasn't been in there. I had an appointment with the real estate today at 4pm to sign the lease. Their policy is, NO MONEY, NO LEASE, which means NO KEYS. We were told that the money would be in our account by lunch time today. I checked our account at 3pm and it wasn't in there. GULP! Long story short, they accepted a fax receipt from Roy's work for payment of the bond & part-payment of the 2 weeks rent in advance. We had to make up the difference out of our own money. We will be reimbursed when the money comes through. What a nightmare! Do you know how hard it is trying to go house hunting with 3 boys??? OMG I have been going insane. Roy gets home on Tuesday then he is off to NZ for 1 week for the funeral (not that I am complaining about that). Do you know how hard it is trying to keep 3 boys quiet while Nan sleeps in??? For the last 2 weeks all I have been doing is saying, 'Quiet!', 'Leave the bird alone', 'Shut-up!', 'Don't be rude', 'Don't say that', 'Luke!', 'Jack!', 'Lane!', 'Leave your brother alone'. LOL. You can imagine. I am looking forward to getting into our own place and relaxing. I don't have to pick up the toys as soon as they hit the floor. I don't have to wash up the dishes as soon as we have finished eating. I don't have to feel guilty when the kids don't eat their dinner. I could go on but you get my drift, LOL.

Keep your chin up Bek. You are not alone. We can get through this. You are an amazing strong woman smile xxx


How are you going? Long time no hear sad

A lot has been happening here. Sadly DH's ex Sandy lost her battle with cancer. She passed away last Thursday. Her funeral is today. DH is over there now (NZ) trying to organise the kids. Matthew is 9 turning 10 next month and Anna is 13 turning 14 in November. Matthew's passport has expired. They can't find his birth certificate so they have to apply for another one. Matthew was born here in Canberra. DH is hoping to bring the kids home with him either this week or next, fingers crossed. We are going to become a family of 7. It is going to be different that is for sure. I am actually looking forward to it. A lot of things will change. For one we won't have to pay the ridiculous amount of child support anymore. Including the debt that DH owes we pay just under $1000 per month. I am guessing my centrelink payments will increase as well. That can all be organised after they get home. I will keep you posted!

Lane started Preschool last Friday. I have put him into a normal childcare centre with a Preschool room. At this stage he is going one day a week. It costs $36 per day, that includes all meals. I have his kindergarten pack for next year. I can't believe my little man is starting school soon. We are still waiting to hear back from Jack's school. Unfortunately they were away on camp last week so nothing could be done. We hope to hear from them sometime this week. Because it is a special school he has to go through their placement panel before he can be accepted. They will be moving to their new location soon which happens to be right next door to Lane's Preschool. The primary school (where Matthew & Lane will go) and Jack's school and Luke's Preschool (next year) are all walking distance from home. Anna will have to catch the bus to the high school on the days that I don't have a car. That shouldn't be a problem. Anna seems like a pretty switched on girl.

We have moved into our house. We have had nothing but dramas ever since. Can you believe there is NO outside aerial connection thing anywhere in the house? There is a thing in the lounge room which looks like it was set up for Austar but there is nothing for normal TV. We can only watch DVD's & videos, lol. Atleast it keeps the littlies entertained. Our plumbing is STUFFED. We realised this when our bathroom flooded the other night and toilet paper started coming up through the shower, grrr! We had the plumber out here yesterday. Long story short, the roots have grown through the pipes. Major job to be done. They are contacting the real estate this morning to see what is to be done. We have to use the outside toilet & the kitchen sink to wash our teeth. We can shower but it has to be mega quick because the water just runs underneath the house. I am dying to have a nice long hot shower and wash my hair. I feel so dirty from unpacking boxes etc. We have been here one week and we have been to the hospital twice, lol. The first time Jack's asthma came on and we couldn't find his puffer anywhere. The second time (last night) Jack cut his finger open trying to pull the top off of his cap gun. When we left the hospital it was dark. Can you believe both of my headlights on my car have blown? I had to drive home in the dark, grrr. Now I have to try and figure out how to fix them. That will be interesting! Jack had his first appointment with our local doctor last week. She seems nice. She has referred him to CAMHS (Child, Adolescent & Mental Health Service). We received a phone call from them the following day. We are now waiting to hear when our first appointment will be. Everything is starting to slowly fall into place. DH was only home for half a day last Tuesday when he had to fly out to NZ the following morning. We haven't seen each other in 4 weeks (apart from the half a day last week).

Did you have a nice Mothers Day? Jack made me a really cool canvas and he bought me a card & choccies. Lane made me a giftbox filled with musk lollies from Preschool. DH surprised me and sent me a beautiful bunch of flowers. We spent the day at home. We couldn't go anywhere because the plumber was here. All in all it was a nice day grin

Kathy xx

Mothers Day ??? whats that???
i didnt get a single thing besides what tia made me at school. no sleep in, no breaky, not even a happy mothers day or card nothing. and then i had to stand here remind Tristian that it was mothers day and watch him give his mum a hug and kiss...
all in all it was a pretty crappy day. we then spent most of yesterday arguing about it. the one day where im supposed to be appreciated and nothing. so i went off. every year he gets spoilt. anniversary, fathers day, birthday christmas and random days too, and every year i get bugger all so i flipped my lid big time.

sounds like you have been busy sorry to hear bout Sandy, hope things go well with Mathew and Anna. will be pretty busy.

we have been busy too, everything seems to get so much all at once. nothing new from last time we spoke. Alex had the speech pathologists appt and she said he is going to need further testing, he seems to have problems with sealing his mouth round the bottle and suck/swallowing. we see the paeds tomorrow and will know more then
she has recommended cutting his feeds to 100ml every 2 hours (instead of 150ml 3 hourly) but that isnt working he seems to be taking more and his reflux is worse then ever. besides the health problems he is doing well. he is almost rolling belly to back (gets stuck on his arm) and when on his belly he holds his head up and looks around lol. he has the most gorgeous smile and is forever trying to laugh.

still waiting to hear bout Tias follow up with the speech pathologist and occupational therapist.

speaking of which i gtg and pick her up otherwise i be in touble lol
be back later

Bek ~ Why am I not surprised? Men just don't get it do they? I usually have to find the wrapping paper and give it to DH to wrap MY OWN pressie, lol. That is if he remembers to get me a pressie. I don't think they will ever change Bek. Men are definately from Mars! I hope poor little Alex can get sorted out soon. Let me know how you go at the Paeds. Jack starts school today. I don't know whether to be excited or scared, lol. Fingers crossed he has a good time. He is looking forward to it which is a good sign. It is supposed to be a Max. of 7 degs here today. WTF! I was thinking of taking the boys to the park. I hope the sun comes out and it warms up. On Friday hopefully Jack will be at school (he is going as a 'visitor' at the moment until he gets approved by the placement panel) and Lane will be at Preschool. I am thinking of heading into Wagga for the day. It is a 3hr round trip. Not sure yet. I really want to hit the shops and buy some much needed blankets. It is starting to get pretty cold here already. Well I must go. Lane has just woken up and he wants his Weetbix. Enjoy your day Bek. How did you go with sorting out your 'problem'. Have you spoken to anyone re Bipolar yet? Take care xx

hey Kathy
im having a down day grr. Alex hasnt been sleeping well of a night time, or during the day. not to mention all his problems went to playgroup this morning think im going to give up on it, i dont have anything in common with any of them and i dont get a chance to sit down and talk anyway what with chasing after noah and issie. today noah bit one of the babies sad made me so cranky, the mum was ok about it thank god but still.

makes me wonder how long i can keep doing this. if it wasnt so serious id give up on Alex's appts. everytime we go we see a different paed (intern/registrar)theres no communication between the departments, and they dont even read his file before we get there so i have to go over everything again and again. last appt (last week) they werent even going to do anything. bit of background. 2 weeks ago we seen speech pathologist about his feeding she recommended doing more testing because he has trouble sealing around the teat and swallowing. and see whats causing him so much problems with his reflux.
at the paeds clinic week later... "based on what your telling me i dont think he needs to have the further testing done, and his reflux isnt bad enoug to warrant medication, you just have to deal with it" is what i was told. to which i replied no the testing wasnt for the reflux its self its for the sealing and swallowing, and the reflux is bad, he screams for hours on end and your telling me to just deal with, i have three other f***ing kids to deal with as well.
thats when they agreed to do the further testing. i also mentioned that while preg at 20 wk scan they picked up bout his kidneyss being dialated "oh but theres nothing in his chart about it" i said no thats because you dont communicate well here but it was there even at the sizing scan at 34 weeks they were still dialated. so we go for a u/s tomorrow to check on them and see whats going on there. but im so fed up with this hospital. i wish we had health cover and our own paed sad its driving me insane. its like last year all over again, feel like im crying out for help and nobody is listening "its not as bad as your making it to be" or "your an over reactive parent" well noones actually said that to me but they may as well for all they care
and im not over reacting there IS something wrong with him, they're just too lazy to do anything bout it. its like when he was admitted the other week for the dehydration and "constipation" they were so set on the fact that it was constipation or bowel blockage they werent even listening to what i was saying. he hadnt been for 6 days, he had oral thrush REALLY bad so he wasnt drinking and i sat there and said the whole time he isnt constipated he isnt eating so therefore hasnt got anythign to poo out. but no they treated him for constipation... suppository then coloxyl drops 3 times a day, i asked are you even going to do a scan to see if thats what it is... but no it wasnt neccessary because he was constipated sad nd i later found out that your not suppossed to give suppository with dehydration, because the way they work is by drawing all moisture to the bowel to lubricate....

i give up!!! grrr

anyways i hope things are going well for you, all things considered. how did jack last week??? how are the boys?

i gotta go kids asleep need to do some stuff before going to pick tia up

Bek ~ How are you feeling today? I fully understand how you feel re the playgroup situtation. Having two kids 12 months apart I know exactly what it is like trying to socialise while chasing the kids. Do you remember what it was like at the Brisbane airport? LOL. It would be hard to if you don't click with anyone. Are there any sort of support groups in your area? Maybe your hospital has something? I am thinking of joining some sort of group for parents with kids with Autism. I will explain later. I also understand your frustration re having to repeat yourself at every hospital appointment. I have been doing this for years with Jack. It makes you wonder why they don't write everything down. I find myself in this situation again having moved recently. It doesn't matter if I move or not, I still have to sit there and try and recall what has happened over the past couple of years. Then when I struggle remembering something they make me feel like I am stupid. Do you know what I mean? I don't know what you are going to do with Alex. You just have to keep pushing Bek. Does Issie or Noah go to childcare? You really need the break. I love my Fridays. I just have Luke at home. I can't wait for next year when Lane is in Kindergarten and Luke will be in Preschool a couple of days a week. Talking about Luke, I think he has something going on there. He has problems socialising with other kids. He is always moody. Basically he is hard work. I am hoping next year we can get on top of it when he is apart from his brothers & sister during the day. Do you still see your Psychiatrist? You really need to tell them how you feel. Did you ask them about Bipolar? Please seek help Bek. I have been offered counselling. I think I might take them up on it. Jack's school is being really supportive which is nice. Talking about his school, I have an appointment today at 11.30am. Jack met the local police TWICE yesterday. The first time he was doing graffiti art on their graffiti wall (within the school grounds) but because he was wearing his flanney shirt over his uniform a plain clothed police officer who was walking past thought he was trespassing. His teacher had to quickly run down and explain the situation. She told the officer that he is one of their students and that he is autistic. Jack piped up and said, 'I am not autistic', lol. Apparantly his teacher said, 'Trust me hon, I have teached a lot of autistic kids and you are autistic'. That is one of the reasons why I have made this appointment today. I am interested to hear her views about his condition. The second time Jack met the police was when he was walking through the park and some kids started teasing him. Jack threw a rock at a wall in frustration. A passer by saw what was happening and called the police. Jack said they were really nice and supportive. They introduced themselves and they had a good chat. They already knew who Jack was because they said, 'Are you new to town?'. I think Jack's school has informed them about him already which is a good thing I think. Atleast we are getting some sort of positive support. That is the second reason why I have made this appointment today. Jack has done some tagging down at the park. Now that the police know his tag I am worried about what is going to happen. I will keep you posted. I received Jack's report yesterday from the Psychiatrist he saw in Tamworth. One of the comments he made was, 'Language difficulties noted. There seems to be a long history of other difficulties that might be consistent with a PDD (Pervasive Developmental Disorder) to be further assessed at a Paediatric review'. Pervasive Developmental Disorder is one form of autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Once again I will keep you posted. Anyway Bek I must run and get these boys organised. Take care xx Oh one more thing. I think Roy & the kids are coming home next Tuesday!

BUMP ...

Hey Bek, how are you going? Long time no hear unsure

Well we are now officially a family of 7. Roy and the kids came home on Wednesday 25th May. All is well, considering.

Kathy xx

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