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  5. Daycare - A little disapointed...

Daycare - A little disapointed... Lock Rss

My dd is 11 months and has been going to daycare for just over 1 month... In that time she has come home with a nasty scratch and two bites to the face (all different occasions) from other children.

I don't feel like I can blame the daycare (they are a great daycare) but at the same time i am still angry that it has happened to my baby!!

I am left wondering how they deal with children biting and if my dd is just having a run of bad luck or if this often happens??

Has anyone else had this sort of problem?? Should I say anything to the daycare??

HI,

It's a tough call. I am having the same dilemma, but with DS1 who is nearly 5. There is one particular child at the centre who is constantly causing trouble and "bullying" the other children. However, with most centres not willing, or able to exclude said children I'm not sure there is really much to be done. At ours they talk to the kids, and the parents if there are major altercations, but then it's down to the parents to speak to their kids at home. Now us being responsible parents, we explain what we deem acceptable and unacceptable behaviour, but who knows what, if anything the other child's parents are saying to them. DS1 can usually tell me who he's had the issue with (the centre never does, just say that he and "another child") and even if I knew the other child's parents well, not sure I'd feel that confident to approach them about it.....especially if I get the impression that it's not that big a deal to them!!!

Yes, kids will be kids, and they will not always play happily together, but if it is consistent or it's the same child over and over then I'd be looking to speak to the Head of the centre to arrange a meeting and discuss your concerns. We did this when we learned that DS1, along with about 4 other boys, were not being very respectful to centre property and basically just being "boys", but as his parents we felt that it needed discussing because he knows better and we wanted to see if there was anything more we could do, or that they could do to "keep him in line". They came up with some new ways to focus their attention and within a week the behavior had stopped.

So it's a tough call, but you could maybe sound them out by mentioning it to them one day and seeing what kind of a response you get. Then depending on that, determine where to go from there; it's hard, leaving them with other people, but at the same time it's great for them to be socialised and learn how to deal with that stuff themselves. Daycare has done a world of good for DS1, but he has picked up some habits I had rather he didn't have. LOL He's off to school shortly so I assume it's only going to get worse from here on in. At the end of the day, it probably won't be the worse thing that happens to her in life (DS1 broke his arm when he was 18 months old)so a few scratches, in the giant scheme of things will go largely unremembered. If you have any concerns for her safety though, I'd do something immediately about that, but maybe take a wait and see approach for now?

Christina


Hi

I have worked in daycare for nearly 13 years.

Scratches happen so easily, usually when two children are playing together and decide to explore the other childs face. At your DD s age it shouldnt happen deliberatly.

Unfortunatly biting is all too common in centers. Sometimes no matter how much you shadow a child they still do it. You can be turned for one second and they will have bitten. Ask the carers if it is the same child doing it. Then you can request that she is closly supervised if that child is near her. Some children will target one child.

There are so many reasons that babies and toddlers bite. these inclue teething, they dont know how to communicate, not enough toys to go around, hunger, they like the reaction that they get etc. They dont usually do it to hurt the other child on purpose.

If a child at my center bit ( at your daughters age group) they would be moved away and the bitten child would get all of the attention. The child who bit would be told that Bitng hurts and then we would try and work out the reason why they bit and address that. We use positive guidance and lots of distraction and trying to resolve the situauion before it occurs.

Feel free to ask them what they are doing about the biting especially if it is the same child doing it. They are able to get help if they cant control it themselves (well we can in WA)

Even the highest quality centers can have biters but with work most can be resolved. As I said before some children know whenyou arent looking.

Hope that this helps

Hi Quin83,

I am hearing you. I am furious, no make that FURIOUS at my day care centre at the moment. My DD has been there for about 5 months, and only this past Monday, I got a phone call to tell me she had been bitten by another child.

Now, I can accept that children bite and it happens so quickly, but my DD sustained two bites from the same child, and one is so bad that she has required medical intervention, and the bruising and lacerations to her face are shocking.

Daycare have told me that they are un certain why the little boy bit her, as they were not supervising her at the time. Now I ask the question, why was she not being supervised???

I am currently in the middle of some meetings with the centre in regards to what has happened, as unfortunately it was only last week I raised with them the concerns that they were not providing adequate supervision for the children.

Further to this, my child was bitten at 1pm, and I did not get the call until 4pm, and by then, the damage was pretty significant.

After I calmed down, I have requested from the day care centre a written report into the incident, and at this present time, I am preparing documentation seeking clarification as to why this occured and how they are going to rectify the situation and attempt to ensure that it does not happen again.

I have also called the Nathional childcare accreditation council for some advice, and they were fantastic.

It is hard to leave your little one to someone else to care for, so you need to be happy with where they are. Speak to oyur child care centre and see what policies they have in place to manage this type of behaviour.

Even though my littlee girl has had to see a Dr and a specialist for her bite marks, I do not blame the child that bit her. There is obviously a reason for it, it is just a case of finding out why and manageing that. however I do lay a fair amount of responisbility at the door of the day care centre, as the question needs to be answered, where was the supervision, and why when there were two carers in the room, did it take a carer to come from another room to see what my daughter was screaming about......

Soory, but I am still really really angry......

Talk to your centre and make sure they have a plan in place to manage this type of behaviour....

I am back for a bit more of a vent. This morning my little girls face has become very infected from the child bite. He face is so swollen, her eye has closed over....all from a child bite.

The Centre are still giving me apologies and excuses, but when I look at my little girl, it all means nothing, cause she is hurt....

The Centre are going to implement a written plan to manage this other child, and any other children that bite, but I feel like it is a little late for us. Especially as we are now back to the Dr for more treatment....

I am so Angry about it all.....

Wow that is really horrible bubblegum!!! You have every right to be angry, I don't want to offend anyone who works in childcare... But it is their job to supervise the children.

My dd hasn't been back to the daycare since the last bite (because we have had a lot of family come to visit and she hasn't needed to go there) I haven't talked to them about it, apart from when i picked her up when it had happened (I was very nice though and accepted the apologies)

They have sent a letter about holding a parents/caregivers evening, so i might go to that and ask some questions there...

I hope you get the answers you need and your dd is alright!! Poor wee thing!!

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