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A bonding question Lock Rss

I had problems bonding with DS#1 due to a number of different issues. It took me quite a while to feel 'in-love' with my son, and feel like he was really mine. I know some of it will have been due to the situation (difficult birth & immediately transferred to NICU) which I hope will not repeat itself.

But....I was wondering if people had quite different bonding experiences with their children? I would love to feel the "instant connection/love" that some people get with their newborns, but I am not sure if that is a reality for me or not. Interestingly - in this pregnancy I already feel different about this bubs, somehow more connected - does that sound silly? Maybe it is just knowing more what to expect!

Anyway, I am interested in other's experiences of bonding. <span class="emoticon smile">smile</span>
I had a normal delivery with my DD but I can't say I felt immediately that we were instantly bonded forever or anything you like that. I was relieved the birth was over. It really took me a coulple of months to get to know and fall in love my DD. I felt guilty about not having such an immediate bond, but I think my experience was not uncommon, but people don't like to talk about it.

I love her with such intensity now, but it wasn't always like that. I had some councelling to help with what I thought was PND. But the psychologist tells me that my feelings were just fine. I have never fallen in love at first sight before and I didn't with my DD. We got to know each other slowly like most people do.

I don't know if it would take me awhile with a second one or not, but if it did, I wouldn't feel the huge guilt I had with the first one.

Good Luck.

I never felt an instant 'connection' so to speak. I loved my child, or the idea of it, but really it took awhile to 'get to know' each other. Both times. Have to say I'm really excited this time round too, knowing this will be y last.but I'm sure once she's born, all that uncertainty and self-doubt as to whether I'm doing what she want/needs will come back. Until I get that confidence back.
i did have that instant love feeling with my DD cant explain it i felt like i already knew her the moment i saw her, we didnt know the sex or anything and i had a few minor complications but i felt like id dreamed of her and here she was smile
but with DS it wasnt quite the same. birth was fine and this time we found out he was a boy so id fully gone nuts nesting and couldnt wait to meet my little man..but when he was born i didnt feel that 'spark of recognition' that i felt with DD it wasnt that i didnt love my baby or that he wasnt what i expected or anything i still loved him and would give my life for him from the moment i saw him but the 'connection' wasnt the same. i ended up diagnosed with PND after about 3 months and felt guilty that i still wasnt bonding with my boy sad he was a very difficult newborn unfortuneately..but as i got treated a bit for my PND i felt that bond developing with him, hes my little mummys boy now smile but our relationship took a little while to bloom.
even now my relationships with my children are different but both would move mountains, i guess every persons spirit interacts differently with others
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