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Hi all,
I have to write this down because i am really ....... off. I'll give you some background detail first, I have a 9 month old baby girl, i am still with the dad but he lives at his families home and i live at mine (hopefully for not much longer ) any way, on the occassions i have taken Ella over to her Pa's house ( my partners dad ) he has tried to give her biscuits, and bascially food that she shouldn't be having, even trying to give her food when she wasn't on solids. One time i told him i didn't want him to give her a teddy bear biscuit but he did anyway. I was so angry. He also has a staffy and sorry for anyone who has one but my mum is a vet and she has seen so many cases of these dogs attacking babies, there so unpredictable. Her pa lets the dog lick her and being a baby with unpredictable movements i worry when she is around the dog. Pa always wants to have her overnight, and i;m sorry but i have never spent a night away from her and i don't want to right now and i think thats only natural. So the thing is he is taking her tommorrow for an hour and half. I said to my partner that thats all i'm happy for him to have her, that way he doesn't need to feed her. Less temptation to naughty food to be given. I feel really sick thinking about what they will get up to. My partner is really upset and says he understands but who knows if he really does. He says he's dad just want's to spend time with her. I understand that but he never comes to my place to see her or rings to see how she is i always have to take her over to his place. It would be so much easier if he came here.

Is this normal??? What should i do??? I don't want to cause a problem between the families. Do most people let their childs grandparents overnight etc??

Help i'm sick with worry and it's only for an hour and a half

Ellas mumma
Hi Amy

I'm with you. I'd be counting down the minutes until my little one came back, particularly when you're this distressed. Although its natural that Pa will only want to love and protect Ella, his ideas (re dogs and some foods) are unfortunatley not aligned with yours. You're Ella's mum, you call the shots! Is your husband going to be there at the same time that Ella is with Pa? If not, then i think "safety first" and either stay over for the hour and a half, or suggest that the 3 of you do something (maybe a park?). I'd hate feeling as though i was being pushed around and being pressured (out of guilt) to leave my baby with ANYONE!

Nope I wouldn't leave my little one anywhere overnight unless i was with her. She's only 6.5 months adn like you she's never been away from me at night. How would you feel if in fact you DID leave her and the dog DID do something!

Go with your gut feeling, i reckon

Susan, Sydney, 12/4/05 baby

Hi there,
My Ella is 9mths too and I don't feel comfy leaving her with anyone either. I don't think we should be forced into something we're not comfy with. I haven't left my bub with anyone either except mum has taken her for the occasional walk. I don't trust either my mum or my MIL as they seem to have forgotten what it's like to have babies. The other day mum was at my place and I went to the kitchen to do something and when I came back Ella was climbing the stairs unattended while mum just watched from the lounge! It's not like the stairs are carpeted either - it's all wood and floorboards and there are no railings. She always has little candles all around her place in reach of ella, etc so I just don't trust her. I'm sure when Ella is older I will feel better about it but at the moment - NO! I would be worried about the dog too. It would only take one little nip or growl to possibly frighten her away from dogs forever. She will have plenty of time to get used to dogs when she's older.
Maybe u could take the initiative to invite Pa to your place for a visit or suggest he take her for a walk in her stroller? That way she's strapped in and safe?
If u don't feel comfy about something then dont do it. that's your motherly instinct talking to you, and it's not worth all the stress and anxiety just to please other people. Ella is not going anywhere, so there's plenty of time for sleepovers later on.
Hope this helped some?

Sherri, mum to Ella Bella Baby Bear ~ 21.01.05

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