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Lets put it out there! Lock Rss

I came up with the idea for this thread last night after I got thinking about some of the nastiness and judgemental comments I have seen kicking around on this site lately. Sadly I too have been guilty of offending someone on this site when I misinterpreted what a mother wrote about the way she put her baby to bed and thought that she may be causing her baby some harm - I had misinterpreted totally and really upset the mother (sorry nessie).

So what I thought we could do is to have a thread where we just put our parenting ideas and philosphies out there for all to see with no reasons/becauses/or arguments why. Just write what we believe. I thought that this might highlight to everyone that there are many different ways of parenting that are different to our individual ideas, but are not necessarily wrong (unless they are causing harm to the child).

Then when we see an opinion on another thread that we don't understand or find offensive, maybe we can check here and see if that parent has put their parenting philosophy down, and maybe gain some insight into why they have said what they have said. I don't know if it will work but I think it's worth a shot, don't you?

I have thought of not coming back to this site a few times because of the nastiness, but then realised that I really need the support as I do not have many friends where I live.

So I'll be brave and go first:

-I believe in attachment parenting
-I will not let my baby cry to sleep
-I do not believe in smacking my child as punishment
-I am a breastfeeder but my son does have one bottle of formula at night
-I believe that "extended" breastfeeding (eg feeding a todler) is normal and that a parent has a right to do this in public if that's when her child needs to be fed
-I want to tandem feed both of my babies when number two arrives and I believe this is normal
-I believe that what is best for the individual family is best for baby
-I believe in parenting by heart (doing what feels right and not doing something if it doesn't)
-I believe in immunisation

So there you have it. I might add to it later if I think of more. It was kind of hard to write some of that without jumping into big explanations about why I believe it but that is not what I want this thread to be. I also don't want this to be a place where parents ideas are challenged or judged. Hopefully we will all learn about the diversity of parenting from this little experiment.

Thanks.

Logan 03/05/05 Lily 06/11/06

I am not entirely sure about if I believe in attachment parenting because it seems to have such a broad definition. There have been times when both of my babies (one is 4 and the other is 9 months) have slept with me, but only as babies. Poor hubby gets kicked out to the couch though lol. I have also carried the youngest in a pouch but she has had problems with her hips developing (not because of the pouch she was never in it for long periods of time) so no more pouch for her.

I have let my first baby cry to sleep, but will never do it for my 2nd. I just don't think she could handle it. I am not entirely convinced after doing it to the first, that it is the best thing to do anyway.

I do believe in smacking, in certain circumstances.

I believe in 'self - weaning" as in letting bub decide to stop breastfeeding. My son did this at 16 months, my daughter is still going. I don't know about doing it in public though - at 16 months my son was only having it once a day, first thing in the morning.


I never tandem fed my kids, the first was well and truly weaned when number 2 came.

we parent by heart too.

Also I immunise my kids.
Bec,

I think your idea is excellent.

My DD is 13 months old, she is very demanding all of the time. She wants me to be with her constantly. She makes herself throw up to get her own way. She throws up if she is very upset.

Until last week I was racking my brain as to what I can do to change her behaviour. Thinking I had a 'problem' child...when people ask you if you have a 'good' baby what they mean is - IS SHE QUIET AND A GOOD SLEEPER! My answer to both those questions is NO!!!

Anyway, after reading an article about a lady with a similar child and the way she dealt with it, I realised that Nina is NOT a problem child. She is a glorious little person with an excellent sense of fun and adventure.

- I don't believe in smacking Nina
- I don't believe in punishing bad behaviour, rather praising good behaviour.
-If Nina wants me to sit and play with her all day, I will.
- I do believe in teaching a baby to put themselves to sleep
-I don't believe in giving Nina canned/ pre prepared food.
-If Nina needs to be held for however long, then hold her I will.


Hi

i use controlled crying and found that it worked well for us
I bottle feed (not by choice) and think that parents should do what they feel is best for their child
I think immunisation is definately the way to go
I trust my own instincts and think that no one knows their child like the parents
I keep an open mind on various ideas/techniques that are out there and always do what i see fit for my son
I think that there are better alternatives than smacking
We parent with our hearts too

Rachel, QLD mum of Zaki 21 months

This is great thread.
Can see many different views.

* I belive u r the best person to know what ur bubs need
*If they r sick u know it first.and only u know how sick they r ....not even the doctors(though i am a doctor myself but i have found many times that doctors r not always right deciding how sick is the baby....
*Breast milk is the best but that shouldn't determine ur love or parenting ability......
*No one should judge my parenting ability coz they r not in my shoes
*Babies don't need new toys every couple of weeks just to develop their skilsor for stimulation., simple household things can be good enough if we use them properly and they learn lot more if u we spend qulaity time together.
*What we do or say at home affects them more than what we teach them formally.

*No pressure on them to learn letters or numbers or swimming by a certain age.
* A happy house is not always the tidest one.

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