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Messing up really badly Lock Rss

Havent been here 4 a while probably half my problem.

ok i was doing so well with dd (now 3weeks off 1) up until she was 5months old when i developed crippling pnd.

since then i have gotten on meds and am ok now but i just took my dd to the community nurse and i am doing everything wrong. from when dd was 5months till now i havent taken her 2 the nurse and had only been able to leave the house 4 her needles.

turns out now she is having 2many bottles not enough solids, using bottles as a sleep aid and only chewing and spitting out solid food not actually swallowing. on top of that there is signs of tooth decay from the bottles.

i feel like the worst mother ever. dd is not clapping or waving and babbles but i dont think she knows that she is saying words or connecting them to meanings.

i dont know how to get her to eat, how to get her to sleep, what order i am supposed to be doing things, what she is supposed to be eating and how much. i feel like i have been dragged back to step one again.

please help...


I haven't battled PND so I can only imagine how hard that must have been for you. The good news is that you've not done Olivia any permanent damage and the things you are talking about can be fixed. I know how it feels when you go to the health nurse and they say stuff that might make you feel like you are the worst mum in the world and this can happen with even the most confident of parents.

My suggestion to you is not to try and 'fix' everything at once because that can be really stressful so pick one of those things and start there and once you are back on track with that move to the next thing. DS2 didn't clap/wave until he was about 11 months old, so not really anything amiss there IMO. He babbled lots but didn't really seem to grasp alot of things, but that comes with time. We talked to him ALOT, read bedtime stories, sang songs etc. Do they do something like a story time/sing along session at your local library? Maybe talk to your health nurse about some local playgroups etc that you can go along to. DS2 has only just in the last couple of months started talking, though he's been able to follow simple commands since he was about 18 months old.

I personally think that sleep associations are only 'bad' if the parents aren't happy to do them and/or they are impacting on the health or safety of the child involved. If you are leaving a bottle of milk in bed with her for example, that will be the 'root' of the decay but if instead you give her the milk then clean her teeth and then put her to bed then that should see that issue stop, it won't 'fix' the teeth that are already damaged but she's going to loose those teeth eventually anyway.

Just take it one day at a time, one issue at a time and try not to stress out too much. Do you have family and friends who can support you while you start to make changes? You're doing the best you can, which is all any of us can do.

i can't imagine what you've been going through, but i was thinking if you can find a really good CHN or similar help they may be able to spend a bit of time with you helping with what to fix first, and how to fix it. it's not going to make you feel better just hearing what may be wrong if you don't get help with fixing it. i'm just not sure where to get that information from, i'm struggling to find somewhere to go now on the gold coast with my bub. can your gp or someone like that help refer you to someone helpful, not criticising?

and you're not the worst mother ever. you are trying to do the best things possible for you and your child. just because you have had setbacks doesn't mean it can't all be 'fixed' and both of you go on to have wondrful times together.

i hope everything works out for you. dammit i know what i'm trying to say and it's hard to word how i mean it..... so sorry if it has come out wrong.
[Edited on 11/02/2010]
Hey, i also suffer from PND maybe not as bad as u but simular. I HATE going to the health nurses as i have never left without being upset by what they say. EG she's eating too much, not enough, Heidi is too big, bad hips (didnt), UTI and the list seems to get bigger. My bubby is fine as im sure ur's is. I believe that u should do what u feel is right for ur child. I work at a GP clinic and the doctors dislike the whole health nurse system as they have to comfort mums all the time because of what the nurses say.
Sometimes we do whatever it takes to get our bubbies to sleep or eat and im sure ur bubby will be fine and will meet the milestones when she is ready and will grow up to be a beautiful, healthy and well adjusted child.
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