I get along really well with my MIL, but there are a few things that bother me.
I'm at uni part time this semester and on Monday's Emily spends the day at her grandma's house while I study. I was a bit aprehensive at the start of the year about beginning the habit, because there is always bits of stuff on the floor - fluff, bits of food, tags, ties (bread), you name it. And like any baby her age everything goes in her mouth... but the alternative was day care and MIL would have been very hurt if I had taken Em to daycare instead of her place. And 3 months on, Emily loves going there.
The problem was that last night we went there for dinner - and Emily was playing in the lounge with the toys in the box behind the armchair, which is only visible from the entry doorway, so we couldn't see her. None of us thought anything of it because she normally goes and plays... but MIL had been cleaning and had left her 'handyman' tool tray full of cleaning products right near the entry doorway too. Aparently she forgot she hadn't put it away. Later when I packed up the toys that Emily had dragged out I noticed the cleaning stuff near the toys, and a bottle of toilet 'duck' laying beside the armchair that MIL doesn't put the cap on because it's hard to get off all the time. Obviously Em had pulled it out of the tray and put it there, and my immediate reaction was "I hope she hasn't drank any". I have no idea what would happen if she did, but it's probably a dangerous product to drink - hence the childproof cap!!! My FIL who was sitting in the chair immediately picked it up and put it on the coffee table as if it would leak on the carpet, but no mention of SORRY or IS SHE OK??! MIL was away getting ready for work, so we didn't see her after that.
We were leaving anyway but left straight away and I felt sick all night thinking what if she had drank some (I don't think she would) and dies in her sleep. I just prayed that she hadn't.
When we got home hubby thought that I was upset with him... but didn't even seem to care that she could have drank some. He just asked if I was taking Emily there today - with my response of NO!
At least HE rang his mum and told her that we wouldn't be around this morning.
I don't want Emily to go there again when I'm not there if she does (with me/us) I will be checking EVERYWHERE! Hubby's response was that we can't just stop taking her there - everyone makes mistakes. My theory is I'm not saying they can't see her but you can't be too careful when it comes to kids, and who's to say something like this won't happen again? At home I make sure that there is nothing within her reach that she shouldn't have, yet they don't seem to care. If Emily were at a daycare centre and something like that happened I definitely wouldn't be taking her back, so why is it any different because we are related - seeing as she has her on Monday's. Not only that, she tends to fall asleep easily, so who's to say that she won't fall asleep and Emily get into something she's not meant to. I would get her to come here but she doesn't drive and lives about 10 minute drive away, so can't get here during the day when FIL's at work.
My problem is that I really don't want to upset her and if I stop taking her there to mind she will be very upset, yet I value my daughter's life way more.
To add to that, I will be at uni full time next semester and she is expecting to mind her more often (like 2-3 days a week). I'm thinking that even though we can't really afford it I might have to get her into day care.
What do I do?