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when did you feel up to it again Lock Rss


My son is 4 month old and I still don't feel like having sex. I feel very guilty towards my husband and have tried once just for him. It still hurt heaps and I didn't even tear in labour.
I am starting to feel worse and worse.
Has anyone got any tips or is anybody experiencing the same?

Boy 27-05-05 and girl 30-11-06, due 26-03-09

For us it was a good 14/15 mths before it was enjoyable. I know what you mean about the pain and I had a Ceaser!!!

I think before anything you need to be emotionally ready.
Introduce your man to his hand LOL they gonna be friends for a while smile Dont push yourself cos you will just tense up even more.

There is a thread in Todlers and relationships i think titled Intemacy... you might get some good tips in there.

Good luck and remeber you are not alone

Steph wink

Steph VIC Mummy to one gorgeous boy

Hi Lenneke,

Well, if it makes u feel any better, my DD is 13mths old and I still "don't feel like it". What might make it worse is the fact that I don't hurt, I have just lost it.

I participate mostly out of obligtion. On the very rare occasion I feel it myself but on balance, it wouldn't worry me if I didn't get it at all at the moment.

I think as much as anything, for me, it is the fact that altho I am a SAHM, I never have any real time for myself and DF seems to think that any time that I am not "doing something" is time that I can spend, well...doing him I The pressure from DF doesn't help to get me in the mood either, it is almost like his desire for it depletes mine, makes me almost angry sometimes...I get very defensive and frankly feel like a failure as a partner which again adds to my lack luster in that dept.

I can't really explain it properly but I guess for me it is the fact that someone is wanting something from me all of the time. An hour in front of the TV is not "me time".

I also think that the after baby body plays a big part in it too - try not to be too criticle of yourself. Take the time that you need. He will just need to deal with it. You are not a machine.

Good Luck.
Well for me I still dont feel quite ready and my bub is 4.5 months - but I am getting closer. For me it's mental not physical, but after reading these responses earlier today I spoke to my husband about it and he is actually more nervous about it than I am. He did see me deliver and see what happens down there when you give birth - so no wonder he is scared. But nice of him to admit that, and made me feel better.

Mummy to Joe and Maggie

My twins are 4 months old only a couple of weeks ago my parents took them for a few hours and myself and hubby went out for dinner and ummm well you can guess the rest, but up until then i was always tired and if i was in bed all i wanted to do was sleep, i never felt like it.
But after having that one night of relaxing and no kids things are back on track.
Good luck i hope it comes back for you soon.

Mum to Taniesha & Braydon born on the 8th June 05

Eight weeks after the first because I tore, but it hurt the first four or five times, and i know with me the longer it is between the less you want to do it. My partner would just give me nice massages with no expectations, if i wanted to we did, if not it didn't matter. It does take a while for the intimacy to come back but it's well worth the effort.

Kelly, 22, 1 @ 25/1/04, 2 @9/3/05, 1@5/4/06


My son is 12 months old this week. I still don't feel like it much. I do it, mainly because I feel bad not doing it but DH really has to work to get me in the mood for it. Sad thing is, I used to be like him, up for it any time!

I finally figured out why I don't feel like it anymore. It isn't because of the scar because that has been sorted out, it is because I am still overweight. I have really low self esteem and I simply don't feel sexy, therefore I don't feel like sex.

So I am starting a weight loss program tomorrow. I want my sex life back!! I want to feel sexy again!

Does anyone else have this reason for not wanting it??

Elle, DS: Kai 20/11/04 & DS: Jamie 13/02/07

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