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WHATS THE POINT?????????? Lock Rss

I really dont know what the point is anymore..... Its like the only thing from stopping me from killing myself is my baby boy. My fiance just told me today that hes moving out tomorrow (christmas eve) because he doesnt love me anymore and that everything thats gone wrong in his life is my fault.

Like hellooooo....i get yelled at if the whole house is clean but theres washing up in the sink cause i have a baby thats teething and im so exausted that i just couldnt be bothered. All his daily routine involves him going to work then coming home and getting pissed and stoned and spending the last of our money on pot when we need nappies or formula. and im still expected to drive him to and from work because he doesnt have his licence.

He tells me that if i ever try to leave him he will kill me and my family. i beleive him because he used to hit me when i was pregnant and still does. I love him and want him to change but sometimes i feel like the only way out is OUT!!!!!!!......................

Melissa,NSW, & baby Brendan-Joel 27/07/05

I'd like to start off by saying THERE'S A HUGE POINT!!! You're a mother and that little baby would be devestated without you. Think of what kind of life your baby would have if you weren't here.

I don't know this situation as i'm not in it and I'm so sorry that you are, especially at a time like this.

But if it were me I'd let him leave christmas eve, I wouldn't stand for being hit and being threatened. If he didin't leave I'd pack my stuff and leave when he's not there and go and move in with family members, you shouldn't be scared to live in your own home and you certainly shouldn't be scared for you or your babies life.

I know you say you love him, but is it worth staying and loving a man that does this to you?

I'm sorry this is happening to you.
I think things happen for a reason and this is your chance to get out of what could be a very violent up bringing for your son. If your fiance hit you when you were pregnant, I can only imagine what he could do to you or your son should some-thing tip him over the edge.

The kind of behaviour you described is completely unaceptable. People do not change, they may hide who they are for a bit, but soon enough, their true colours come out. Do not kid yourself any-more that he will change. Love is not a good enough reason to stay in a situation like that. People fall in and out of love all the time.

This man leaving you is the best thing that could happen to you. You and your son deserve better and in time, you will find some-one that will treat you the way you deserve.

Do not let this man emotionally and physically blackmail you any-more, just let him go.

You seriously need to get some support whether it be family, friends or a hot-line of some kind. You would be suprised just what can happen if you have the courage to call for help.


DD is 3yr 8 months - DS is 6 months

I know how you feel. While I didn't have a child at the time, I too was in a physically, mentally and emotionally abusive relationship a little while ago.
Your fiance sounds to me like a very weak man (if you could call him that) that has a problem that YOU can not fix or change. My ex was the same. He always threatened to kill me or my family but in the end he was the one who he tried it on (he is still alive but is a manic depressant). I too thought I could help him but when people are like this only professionals can help and only if they want them too.
You really need to GET OUT of that place NOW!! If you do leave or he leaves you what is really the worst that could happen? You and your son will be safe. You really need to think what's best for your son right now. Don't worry what your fiance is doing or wants.....when was the last time he worried about you? It may take a long time but getting away from him is the best thing you can do for yourself and your son. You need to sort yourself out to make sure you can be the best mummy you can be for your son. You need to stand up for yourself and your son (he needs you too) Picture if your heart what you want for yourself and your son. If you put your fiance in this picture is it as nice and happy (truly)? I'm sure you already know in your heart what is the best for you and your son but you just have to be brave and strong and get out now and start a fresh new life. Use every resource out there to get what you want and need. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Please be strong if not for yourself but for your son.
If you need to chat you can MSN or email me at [email protected] You'll find you will come out of this a lot stronger person and karma will work the rest out. smile
Hi misse_85
How are you going? Is everything alright? Please write back so we know you're ok and if there is ANYTHING we can do. It really helps to talk and to know that you're not alone in this matter.
Hello Mellissa, I hope you are ok. I was in an abusive relationship ten years ago I got pregnant and he beat me, I lost the baby in the first trimester. You should thank God he wants to move out and let him and then concentrate on creating a loving home for you and your boy. I left my Ex and concentrated on being the best person I could be. I waited 3 years to get into another relationship. I am glad I've married my husband and we have a lovely little girl it is not the perfect marriage and we have our little tiffs but nothing physical I would never stand for that and neither should you. Best of luck to you.

Bess, NZ baby girl 01 July 2005

hi melissa,

I agree with what all the girls have said. you say babys dad is getting counselling, what about you. i am a counsellor and would strongly recomend you get some yourself and talk through this painful experience. you are worth so much and play one of the biggest roles ever, raising a son to be a good man. yip your bloke needs some proffessional help and i think you talking through whats going on for you and exploring your choices is essential to your health and wellbeing. I am a kiwi so dont know what the set up is in Aussie but i am sure you would have a womens refuge for you and your baby if you needed to get out quick and as for counselling we can access free counsellors through life line or a citizens advice beurau or the family court. You should be able to find this information out from your local community centre.please do consider it.


kiwi, 12/10/05

Hi misse 85 the first thing I have to say is that your life is importain to everyone that loves you and that cares for you and your son needs you in his life so he doesnt go down the same road like his father.

I would let him go and help him to pack his stuff and help him load all his stuff into the truck, I know how you feel cause I was in a relationship similar to your but my ex didnt hit me but mentally he did and that really mess me up for a long time and Im glad that I didnt have a child with him and I was glad when I finally leave him and I have been happy ever since and matter what he says to you NEVER take him back cause he will never change for you or your son.

Your ex isnt a man is weak boy who loves being in control and cant handle you and doesnt deserve you and your son.

Trust me if I can make it and make anew life and be happy that mains you can make it with your son, there a better man out there misse 85.

KEEP STRONG darling and if you ever need a chat im here and my email address is [email protected]

Chat soon.

Tracey,Jaye (girl)12/06/05, Sam (boy)10/07/09

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