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Here goes, been with my b/f 9 years have 2 great kids but i have hit a point in my life and dont know where to turn.
I had a miscarriage in sept "03, i got really sad friends took me out i met a cute guy, s, anyways he started texting me we became friends then, we slept together, in the process i fell pregnant with my b/f's baby, keep sleeping with s, had my baby kept seeing s till bout march '04', when i was caught out by b/f told me i had to choose, by now s was sick of playing second fiddle and stopped seeing me so i chose b/f, now it's been bout 9 months since ive seen s, but still think about him all the time. My b/f has been great, showers me with attention and says he loves me all the time, helps out with the kids and works full time, but I dont feel the same way about him anymore, i dont know do I break it off or do i just wait it out, Im so confused.
Since telling a few friends about my "affair" they not talking to me, so i really only have 1 good friend i can trust but she has a confusing point of view, Please help me if you can, I have 2 beautiful children i have to think of too. thanks.

2 cuties 7/5/99 & 8/9/04

Dear Mandy

I have no idea what you are going through but it must be hard having your friends not talk to you over an affair.

If you dont feel the same way about your bf as you thought you did then its going to hurt you in the long run keeping the relationship going and it may cause you to cheat again. Your bf may be great and all that but you are selling yourself short if you dont feel the same way about him.

How about trying to take a "break" from your bf where you can see other people and live your own lives for a while and then see how you feel. At least that way you wont leave him outright and regret it or stay and regret it. Its like a compromise if you are unsure about your feelings.

Your children will cope if you separate just be sure to let them see their father and keep the lines of contact open. My mother left her husband when my sister was 18months old and they coped. They still see each other.

The fact that you cheated on your bf shows that perhaps there are things missing in your relationship.

Just remember that the last thing you need to do is live an unhappy life because in the long run that will cause the children to become unhappy as well as your bf. maybe you guys would make better friends than lovers?

let me know how its going and I hope someone else can give you advice that helps more than me.


Clare-WA, Brodie 17.12.04, Lauren 13.12.06, Holly

Hi Mandy,

I'm going to come from the complete opposite angle to the rest of the girls, but not a negative one. Maybe its just thinking outside of the box. Do you think perhaps these feelings of not loving your boyfriend have only arisen since meeting this other guy? If so, getting over someone doesn't necessarily happen instantaneoulsy (i'm referring to "s"). You're probably feeling some kind of comfort knowing that you were wanted by another man, especially when you were in such a vulnerable position. Why your so called friends allowed you to get that close to 's' surprises me, especially since they've turned their back on you now. I'm not here to offer advice, but to just give you something to think about. You're b/f seems to be supportive & obviously loves you to take you back, you're very lucky to have someone like that, there aren't many out there that would. Give it time & have a long hard look at your future & the future of your children. Most of all ensure your decision is in the best interests of you & your childrens hearts. I'm guessing the right decission will only come with time. Love isn't something to take for granted nor will your answers about it just appear.

I hope things go well for you, keep us informed on your decissions. There's nothing worse then being confused.

P.S - if talking doesn't help, sometimes writing your feelings down helps (like in poems or the like)

Carlie, Ella & Ky

Try relationship counselling first. You have 2 children with the man so try...

Hope all goes well...

Mum(29) - DS 7yr, DD 4yr & DD 2yr

I have been with my DH for almost 11yrs and you really have to work at it...even though some days you just want to give try the counselling as it sounds like he's really in love with you and not to sound nasty but you owe him that really give it a go.

Mum(29) - DS 7yr, DD 4yr & DD 2yr

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