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Being judged because I chose to have an epidural Lock Rss

Has anyone else felt like people judge you becasue you chose to have pain relief during labour. I have gotten lots of comments like "I had three children and didn't need any pain relief". I am getting a little bit tired of people even asking this question during conversations.

I chose to have an epidural because lets face it labour hurts but my midwife also recommened that I do because I had high blood pressure and elevated pulse rate and my temp was climbing and she was concerned that the baby may become distressed if I continued without pain relief.

Why do people feel like they have a right to make me feel like I didn't do a good enough job when I in labour. I gave birth to two beautiful children the same as them so that is what counts not how I did it.

Sorry to moan but have heard the same comments over and over today. Thanks for letting me vent.

Miki, SA, Amber 7/4/02 & Aidan 21/2/06.

Never been judged or compared to anyone, but I do hear where your coming from.
I am very forward in telling people I had gas,pethadine and an epidural, closley followed by "My baby was 11 pound" they are to busy trying to pick there bottom lip of the ground to say anything after that(hehe)

Anyway I say do what you can to get them here safely and that is all that should matter,I have a friend and both her bubs shot out,she had no time to pull her knickers down let alone have drugs.
Maybe that is why these people ar bragging of no drugs tongue

Post deleted by administrator.
Hi Miki

I've had 2 epidurals. Like you, first time round I had to have one because of high blood pressure and I ended up having a c-section because my contractions almost stopped and my son's heart rate dropped, I'd been using the gas and found it great for pain relief but I was pretty spaced out from it. Second time I had to have a c-section because my daughter was overdue and I couldn't be induced, so I chose to have an epidural because I still wanted to be awake for her birth. I've got to say the second epidural was a lot harder without the gas to get me through it!!!

Dette - we learned all the same info as you in our classes. I agree, it's not a decision to be taken lightly, in fact it was the furthest thing from my mind - then again so was being induced and having a c-section (well 2 actually).

It's just another thing everyone feels the need to judge mums on along with the breast vs bottle debate, and the list goes on...

I say use whatever pain relief you need, but definitely make sure you know all the side effects before. I find it really funny - most of the people who have made comments to me about c-sections and epidurals don't even have children!!!

Hi amber and aiden's mummy,
Not every woman's pain threshold is the same. If the drugs are there to be used then why deny yourself??
People can judge you but they weren't in the labour room with you to know your birthing journey.
I guess every woman can be a little curious in regards to how other Mother's birthing experiences were?? I know I'm a little curious as how to other Mother's coped etc. but not to pass judgement though.
Thanks everyone for your replies. I am feeling better today. I probaly should have pointed out that it is usually older women who had their children years ago that make comment. My family and friends would never dream of judging me.

Yesterday I took Grandma shopping and we ran into her friends and it was mainly these people who made comment, 50 years and above.

As for your comments on research an epi first I agree, I went into it knowing all the risks associated. I was lucky enough not to have any problems from either one.

Thanks again and I hope you are all well.

Miki, SA, Amber 7/4/02 & Aidan 21/2/06.

hi amber and aidans mummy
i am in love with the first child 13 yrs ago drug free,what was i thinking ,well being young and giving a damn what people thought,now 34 and a have a brain of my own,by the time i was half way through my second and tired of the young childless midwife say natural progression i was screaming for the epidural and lovrd actually being able to enjoy the birth i could still feel everything going on just no massive pain,for the third i ask for it as soon as i walked through the door.if i know someones pregnant i say go the epidural.
dont worry about everyone else.they dont know what there missing

chris wa 1yr, 2yrs 14 yr

I hear you-
I have women in my mums group who had the drug free 8 hour labor and bragg about it!!
Yes, you women are lucky to have that sort of labor. If you want to bragg: have a 25 hour labor with high blood pressure, vomiting, no sleep and then after all that end up having a C section!
I could bragg about everything I went through, and my daughter was sick when she was born.
Yep- I had an epidural.
GOT A PROBLEM!!!!?????
I personally would tell people to mind their own business. Whenever i have taken my son to the drs or something, there is always some nosy person who asks me how the birth was and if i had it natural etc. This is coming from a person i have never even met before!!
My sons birth was very traumatic for me and i really dont like talking about it, so when strangers ask me something so personal, i politely try and change the subject and not really answer them, but if they keep persisting, i just tell them its not something i really want to talk about, especially with a stranger. That normally shuts them up!

As i was in labour on new years eve (i got to the hospital smack on midnight) there was no one there to give me an epidural, even tho i tried my hardest to get one. I even told the midwife that i would pay her $5000 if she could get me one!!! smile
I ended up having just gas and peth, and i think i would have been better off not having anything at all....
So anyway, back to the point, i think you are lucky to have been able to have an epidural, and does it really matter as long as bub is healthy?!
It took me ages to bond with my bub (and i mean weeks and weeks) and i blame the birth for this, so for my next one, i say "Bring on the Epi!!!"
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