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2nd baby on the way - 2 under 2 - worried..! Lock Rss

Just looking for anyone out there who has similar experiences?

Have a 1yr boy, will be 19months by the time baby #2 arrives.. Tricky part is partner works some night shifts (not all the time) and for some reason its all i can think about, feel really nervous about how to cope/manage on my own.

Anyone got any tips or can share experiences? How have you found this kind of age gap?

Hi there,
I had a 16month age gap between my 2 x DS's. I wish it had of been closer.
I stressed alot like you're doing, but in all honesty, this time round you know what you're doing it's not so unknown. Yes, you get tired, but ask for and accept all help given.
The boys are such great friends now. DS#1 is 2.7 yrs and DS#2 is 15 months.
Some day and nights are hard but fewer and further in between.
Good Luck.
I have 21mths between my 2 & it was hard in the beginning, but like previous post said ask & accept help.

DH worked long hours. Not night shift, but most days was gone before kids woke up & wasn't home till after they went to bed, so i was on my own. I think this is what made it "hard" for me.

Advice I was given before #2 was born was it is hard for the 1st 6mths then it starts getting easier & it was so true. Now DS is just about to turn 1 & he & DD will play together sometimes, but will also play alone.

We still have some hard days especially as DS is a terrible teether, but every day is getting easier & easier & I wouldn't change the age gap for the world.
Hi there congrats on the pregnancy! I have a son who is 18 months old and a 3 month old daughter and I was very worried about how I would cope too...especially because my DS has never been a fantastic sleeper and very rarely slept through (in fact first time he did I was very very heavily pregnant, so still had to get up ten times to pee!)
I am finding it much easier than I anticipated, partly because my little girl has only ever woken once a night since she was born and has slept 12 hours several times now. However, during the day she is quite demanding and feeds every 2 hours and is a catnapper, so it has taken us quite a while to get a rhythm happening. Try and coordinate your DS day nap with one of babies and be sure to treasure that little bit of you time!
Luckily, my DS has adjusted amazingly well and adores her. You can tell already that this age gap means they will be very close. I think the hardest part has been that we were in such a great routine before and I felt like I was always on top of cleaning etc and then you kinda have to start from scratch again! The other thing I often have to remind myself is that your DS is still only a baby too. Keep your expectations of them realistic because it is easy to forget how little they are when they seem so grown up!
Sorry for the novel! Best of luck...

The other thing I often have to remind myself is that your DS is still only a baby too. Keep your expectations of them realistic because it is easy to forget how little they are when they seem so grown up!
Sorry for the novel! Best of luck...

This ^^^^^^^ is so true.

My oldest two are 22months apart and yep it is hard but you do find a rhythm and how to make it work for you.

I was guilty of expecting more from my toddler then was reasonable as he seemed so much older than a newborn, but as the pp mentioned they are still only babies themselves.

Also, you will find second time round you know what is worth worrying about and what is not.

Good luck, you will do a great job.

Mr J (April 2005) Miss Z (Feb 2007) and Miss O (Oct 2010)

Hi I also have 19 months between my two kids. I spent most of my second pregnancy paranoid abn=out how i was going to cope with two babies under two. Though oncemy son was born just two months ago i was extremely surprised how well i coped. Iam the main care giver for my kids, my partner andI dont live together, He still comes over most nights to help out but rarely stays the night because he starts work early Which leaves me to look after our son when he wakes up 2-3 times a night. Ive come to realise that its just the way it is and to get on with it and enjoy that as well as the bad parts I also get alot of the good bits too. I remind myself that it wont last forever. The baby will eventually sleep through the night and they will both grow up and be able to do more things for themselves.

Really just enjoy your two beautiful babies and relax and let it go abit. Once you do that you may notice how everything runs alittle smoother and you fell less stressed. Good luck xx
Such a good question! I am expecting and there will also be 19 months between them.

Love the answers - especially the ones about remembering that the older sibling is still a baby in essence.

I am already noticing how much more lax I am in this pregnancy, so I know I will be taking it alot more chilled this time round
I understand there are various places who help, Barnardos is one, they can have your older hcild for a few hours a day just to help you get into a routine. Ask your Plunket nurse if you're in NZ, or midwife. Don't think you have to do it alone. Most of all you should be able to enjoy your children, so try not to be supermum, ASK people if they'll just spare you half an out o hang the laundry, or do some washing up. Most real friends will be only too happy to help. Hope it all works out.
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