I really feel for you, it must be hard with your partner not being around as much as you'd like, and I know how it feels when you don't want to ask for help, but you know you really should. My girl is 8.5 months now, and I still have days when I feel like tearing my hair out, but those days aren't as frequent as they used to be, if that's any consolation!
I agree with the other mums that getting out for a short walk can do wonders, even if bub is crying in the pram - at least she's not in your arms and squawking in your ear, and some fresh air will do you both good. On those bad crying days even just having your hands on the pram handles instead of holding the baby can be a welcome change!
Maybe you should talk to a friend or your mum, or one of the support people you mentioned. You may not want to admit that you're losing patience some days, but if you talk to someone who's had kids you'll probably find they're really understanding. I just have to ring my best friend and say "I'm losing my mind today! Do you want to adopt a baby?", and I can let off steam and not be judged, and she understands cos she's been there.
Being honest about how you're feeling won't make you look like a bad mother or like you're not coping - I used to worry that was how I'd look if I complained, but really it takes strength to admit that things get a bit on top of you sometimes. I think you definitely need to talk to your partner about how hard it can be when he's not around, and see if his working hours can be changed at all, or if he can help in any other way. There is light at the end of the tunnel - my daughter was a real little monster at times when she was about your baby's age, but I can honestly say as they get a bit older it does get easier, as you have more good days, and the bad ones don't seem as bad in comparison.
I hope today is shaping up to be alright, remember all us mummies are here whenever you need us! smile
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