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Was I unreasonable? Lock Rss

Hi I would like some feedback on how other mums would feel if this had happened to them. I started back at work this week it was a short week so I was able to even get wednesday off. I worked tuesday, thursday, friday. On Tuesday and Thursday hubby was planned to look after bubs and on Friday my Mum looked after her. We had agreed that I would take the car to work on Thursday then he turned around and said he needed it and wanted to do things. I asked him what? He said "get a tyre for the car and the warrant for the car", I said "how are you going to sort that inbetween caring for bubs?" He said it wouldn't take long. He even met me in town for lunch at 12pm. Well at 2pm that afternoon I thought I'd ring home see how he was and how bubs answer till 3.15pm when his sister answered. I said wheres DH? She said "he went out to get the car sorted and go into work". I was livid and full of rage and after putting the phone down started crying. It was his responsibility to look after her and I trusted him. His answer was he was gone for an hour and bubs was asleep anyway. When I questioned him about his sister coming over to look after bubs he said it was all very last minute. We have a caller id phone and there was a call from her at 10.30am that morning so what did they talk about? He said she is his daughter and he would do what he wanted what??? Would appreciate some feedback, thanks

Bess, NZ baby girl 01 July 2005

hmmmm... tricky one

do you trust your SIL??

i guess if he said he would mind her and he didnt you have every right to be tipped off, especially as this would be great bonding time while you were at workk too

sit down and talk to him about it,tell him how you are felling and that if he says he will do it, you expecxt him to responsicble enough to do it without having to call his siter in

gosh we mums can handle all the houeswork,shopping and making dinner whilst looking after a bub, if i only had to go to a tyre place id be very happy

good luck

Lillie....1 year old!!!

Hi Bess nah that's not unreasonable. You're entitiled to a dummy spit - you are expected to do everyday tasks with a baby on your own so why shouldn't he. Hopefully he'll take on what you said and appreciate how hard it is to get things done with a baby around. On my birthday my brother took me to the footy so I left bubs with DP. He said he was going to visit his mum with Charlie while I was gone. When I called him to pick me up he was at a mates place drinking p*ss and had left bubs at his mums house! Maybe these fellas aren't confident enough and think they can't do it on their own - well there's only one way to learn!!

Good luck

Charlie girl 15/01/06 & Dean the Machine 22/08/09

Hi Bess

I love the way that some men think they are 'minding' or 'baby sitting' their own child. They have as much responsibility as we do to care for our children, just because we carry them to birth does not mean it is then our entire responsibility to be the primary carer particulalrly when you need to return to work.

It is his daughter and he should at a minimum advise you that he has had to place bubs in the care of your SIL and see how you feel about.

Maybe I am over protective but no-one other than my husband, mother and myself have cared for my bub and he is eight months old and I sure would like to know well in advance if my husband was planning on leaving him with anyone else.

A well earned dummy spit I would say. i would be furious.

Melissa,Melbourne, Vic

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