I do feel for you and sort of understand how you feel. My mum died when I was just over a year old, so it is really hard not knowing the wonderful woman that gave me life. I don't know when you lost your mum, sounds like you still got to know her, so there are difficulties in both our situations. My dad remarried and I have other siblings now that I love so much, but even though my stepmum really looked after me, it was still never the same as the affection was not there like it was for my brother and sister.
I too feel down many days. I would love to have known her. I always talk to her in my head though, and she still guides me because I imagine that she would give me positive advice and I follow it. I want to ask her things, but I can't. I wish she was around for her grandson, like my husbands mum is. When my MIL tells me stories about her pregnancy with my husband, I get sad as I don't know how my mum's pregnancy was with me, whether i was born naturally, whether I cried alot, breastfed etc..
I find that the days when I am alone or bored, I think more ... and then I end up being stressed and depressed, so I just try and keep busy as much as I can. I don't know what advice to offer you, I just hope that you have wonderful memories of your mum that you can cherish forever, and just know in your heart that she would be proud of you and your little boy - her grandson. Take care xox
Vaccines: Question what you're told...