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Why dont they respect mothers wishes Lock Rss


My daughter is 9 months old and a darling but we have a lot of problems with her sleeping. We are going to take her to a sleep centre soon and hope this will help. We have found the only thing that works is a routine but it seems no one else seems to respect this!!! My in laws seem to fight me on this issue. If i say no the little one is due for her sleep and cannot play they simply wait till i have gone to the bathroom, am distracted or attack her when she is with her father. It really annoys me. Hubby thinks i should chill out and let it be but i feel they deliberatly undermine me as a mother!!!!! I dont understand why my parents respect my wishes but his relaives wont. If i say anything they make me out to be a real cow....and i dont want to i just want them to respect me as a mother. I am reconsidering going to the sleep cnt if all the work is just going to be ruined by them!!!!

Has anyone else had this problem.

Filomena, 1st baby due 6.11.04

hi fil,
i have had similar problems to an extent with my in-laws and like you, i felt like they all thought i was an absolute cow or a hypochondriac. they never listened to me when i asked them to do things the way we had decided was best, dismissed my wishes with "i did it this way with your husband and it didn't harm him" or waited till i wasn't there and did it anyway. i grew to dread their visits and generally dislike them which was not at all how i felt before the birth of our daughter.
i think grandparents feel a bit like mentors as they have a wealth of experience from raising their own children and forget that it is now our turn to make the decisions! their knowledge deserves respect but i found it hard to give that when i didn't feel my instincts as a mother were being respected.
i think in your situation you really need your husband's support. you are the ones dealing with your daughter when she won't sleep and if his parent's are interfering with that then he needs to tell them to back off.
if he wants to let it go and keep her awake then tell him he can look after her when she is overtired and cranky afterwards. you go out and leave him to it!
with my in-laws, i finally snapped after FIL humiliated me at a restaurant with friends and ignored my instructions not to feed ella rice with seafood in it and she came up in hives for a week. i told my husband i was completely fed up and pissed off with his dad. he talked to him and told him to listen to me and ask me before feeding her anything. i also told MIL about it and she spoke to him too. now they are both very respectful and i trust them a lot more with her.
i hope this helps in some way and i hope you start getting some good sleep soon!
my very best wishes to you and your family,

mel, ella jasmine 13/06/04 & benjamin tyler 6/8/06

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