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Nasty helpline lady Lock Rss

I recently had a particularly bad fortnight with my son. He was awake all day except for the odd 5 minute power nap (I'm sure you all know this one well!) and he wasn't going down till nearly 1 am. Now I've got to hand it to him, he was delightfully happy throughout these long hours but it didn't take the sting off my lack of sleep!

I finally gave in and called the helpline made available in the back of my child health book. I was devestated by the attitude of the lady I talked to. I was told that it was clearly 'all my fault' - yes those very words! - that my son was having sleep problems and I needed to be tougher and make him cry longer as he was manipulating me.

These comments did little to help me. Luckily I had support at the time from people who loved me and could tell me that I was a good mum and the help lady was not very helpfull! Too bad if I was in a more fragile state or alone (which I quite often am - alone that is!)

Now I have tried controlled crying and have found it doesn't suit me or Ezrah. I don't rush into him when he wakes. I do often leave him to re-settle or play happily on his own in his room. However my beautiful boy is a wakeful baby and doesn't seem to need as much sleep. I do accept this, but I still find it hard to cope when he is really wakeful! And I can hardly see him cooking up manipulative schemes, plotting against me and my sleep inducing efforts!

Nasty, cranky people like this shouldn't be in that position. Her disdain for me and my problem could have had great consequences had the circumstances been different.

All I can say is thank god for the Huggies mums who are also here 24 hours a day and who let me know that I'm not alone.
I agree that some people just shouldn't be working in the child health area. I had an awful experience with the midwives when I was in hospital. Some of them where so abrupt, weren't supportive and didn't instill any confidence in my efforts as a first-time mum. I really believe that health-care workers working in maternity/post-natal/child-health need to be compassionate to the needs (physical, emotional etc) of the parents. It is such a life-changing thing, and just a little support and encouragement from these people would be nice!

I too have found this site to be extremely helpful and comforting when I am frazzled about what my little one is doing. Thanks to everyone out there for all your words of wisdom.

Debbie, QLD, gorgeous daughter

Hi Tanith,
A friend of mine had a bad experience when she phoned the 'sleep school'. The thing is, you only ring these places when you're really desperate for help, but when you ring the sleep school, you have to actually make an appointment for a phone consultation, so she had to wait ten days for someone to ring her back so she could discuss the problem. When the lady (midwife/ maternal health nurse??) finally rang her, she was quite abrupt & rude to my friend and made her feel like it was all her fault and that she wasn't doing anything right. My friend ended up in tears and feeling even worse & more stressed than ever!!
Experiences I've had with less than compassionate 'professionals' include the midwives in hospital who all gave me conflicting advice about breastfeeding, how to bath baby, etc. I was made to feel like an idiot because I was doing it the way the previous midwife had suggested, then another one would start her shift and tell me what I was doing was wrong!!
Also our local maternal/ child health nurse is often tactless and abrupt and has upset many mums that I know. She once told me my baby daughter was going to end up obese because she put on too much weight between visits. sound like a lovely mum!! It is really hard when your bub is not a good sleeper (Both of mine have been terrible in the sleep department). I sometimes wonder if it is something I've done or not done that's caused their sleep problems or if it's all just the luck of the draw!!
Keep smiling and heres to lots of lovely, cosy, snuggly sleep-ins when our kids are teenagers!!!(Can we wait that long??)
Hi Michelle, thanks heaps. I've actually decided that I'm going to be one of those horrible mums who gets my teen out of bed at 7am every day so I can wreak my revenge!!!! Just kidding. But at least I now know why my mum used to take great delight in getting me up at awful hours on weekends when I was a teen.
Hi Tanith. Did you get the name of the woman you spoke too. You should make a complaint because she shouldn't get away with treating you so horribly. People working on those help lines are suppose to help you, and not make you feel like like a crap mother. How dare she!

JZ mum to Bradley 17/08/03 and Heidi 25/02/06

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