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help me please im going insane Lock Rss

im in desperate need of help. 2 weeks ago, i had surgery, so my mum and dad have been staying with me to look after my 10 week old son. before they got here, he would self settle every time i put him down. he usually cried for 5 - 10 minutes, and then just fell asleep. he was sleeping through the night (maybe waking once for his dummy. but i wasnt feeding him in the night) he was a great sleeper. now i've lost my little boy.
my mum and dad have been nursing him to sleep every time he goes down. if he makes a hint of a cry, they go and pick him up and nurse him back to sleep. they wont let him cry. they carry him around everywhere, constantly cuddling him, always nursing him. also, now he's waking 2 - 3 times per night... and they feed him. i didnt say anything because i just didnt have the energy. i've been in a fair amount of pain, and i kinda felt bad telling them what to do, when they are doing me a HUGE favour.
the problem is this: he's come to rely on the nursing in order to fall asleep. and he wants to be fed in the night now. he just will not go down in his cot at all. he screams and screams and gets himself worked up so much. i dont know what to do anymore. because i'm still sore, i am physically unable to nurse him for hours and hours. but if i leave him, i feel so terrible and guilty. please, i need advice on what to do. im going insane and feel like im failing my son.
please, any advice would be great.

Tania. WA, Daniel - 26/01/06... smile

I know how you feel in terms of the parents. My mother in law visited from Australia when my son was 4 months old (first time meeting him) He too was a self settler and I must say a wonderful, easy going baby.
She obviously did things a lot differently when she had her children as she tryed to rock him to sleep, sat beside him constantly while he was playing and tried to keep him awake when he clearly was tired. I put up with this for a week and finally had to say something.
Your best bet is to be honest with your parents. Whilst they mean well (and Im sure you appreciate their help), you are going to be left to fix the problem when they leave. They probably dont even realise they are doing it.
Do not blame yourself or feel guilty. You deserve some R&R and need time to recover.
Be honest with your parents and Im sure they will understand.
It was very hard for me to do especially because it was the mother in law, but things were soooo much better once I did.

Hope all goes well and make sure you look after yourself.

Rileys Mum - 11 months

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