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  5. Control crying v's comforting baby to sleep.. what are pros and cons???

Control crying v's comforting baby to sleep.. what are pros and cons??? Lock Rss


My 6 month old DS has slept and settled himself really well since 2 weeks old, he wouldn't feed during the night, He was also wrapped to go to sleep. for the last month he has been waking up for feeds, he has also weaned himself of breastmilk and no longer wants to be wrapped to go to sleep.
the last few nights have been a little better with bottles he is only waking once around 4am for a feed.

CC worked for my DD (now 2) but it is not working for DS at all he just screams and i hate it. i have been rocking him and that has settled him down a bit.

i just know from CC DD she wasn't able to go to sleep unless she was in a room by herself and in a bed, so going away and out was a night mare.... so there are cons to CC...

Just wondering if rocking him to sleep is really that bad??

As someone who has done both, I will NEVER CC/CIO again. DS1 was CC at 11 months and DS2 well we did what we needed to do to get everyone in/back to bed calmly and quickly and at various times in his life that has meant different things. So for example:

Birth to 6 months: bed sharing, varied between full and part-time depending on growth spurts his needs ect and fed and/or rocked to sleep

At 6 months he REFUSED to settle in our bed, and 9 nights out of 10 would go in his cot awake and happily drift off to sleep, but if he cried then we helped in whatever way he needed; even if that was holding him why he screamed cause we couldn't work out what the 'problem' was. At 7 months he did 3 weeks of 10+ hour nights before stopping and we began again the night feed cycle etc. I night weaned him (with his cooperation) gently over the next couple of months when he got tonsillitis and then stopped sleeping altogether once he was better. LOL

We then had 8 weeks of sheer hell where we got FIVE very broken hours of sleep in every 24, where none of the usual 'tricks' worked. Read Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution in 1.5 days when he was 13 months old, shifted his bedtime and he started sleeping again.

He has various times when he needs more 'help' than others, but generally speaking, for US, helping hasn't meant that we're always helping or that he depends on that to help to go back off if he wakes in the night (one of the many arguments for CC). For us I guess I would rather make going to bed a calm, relaxing experience, something he wants to do then be stressed and upset that I am ignoring my crying/screaming baby which may have the added 'bonus' of creating an aversion to going to bed in the first place.

This is what was right for US as a family and I don't feel that we 'made a rod for our own backs' or created 'bad habits' by doing what we needed to do to ensure we maximised the sleep that we were getting. Someone else might be horrified to learn some of the stuff we did to make sure we were sleeping but I am not living their life and nor are they living mine and for US leaving him to cry so that we might avoid 'issues' further down the line' (which we never have btw) seemed a silly reason not to comfort him when he obviously needed it even if all we wanted was more sleep. LOL

And I have rambled...........did any of that make sense? LOL

I agree with everything above post says!! I for one, don't like CC AT all......we did it for awhile with DS so I don't speak from ignorance. But it was the worst thing for our boy. He was rocked, fed & whatever else he needed to get to sleep from birth basically, except for that month we tried CC (I caved to pressure!). Yes, he took awhile to sleep through (11months) & yes, occasionally we still have rough nights & need to get up to him for whatever reason, but adults also have restless nights, so we help him in whatever way we can. Like Christina also mentions, we have had no "issues" as DS now puts himself to sleep without being fed, without being rocked & completely on his own in his cot. We believe also it's because we have made bedtime a calm, peaceful, secure place to be & he knows it & feels safe. The other thing you have to remember is that every child is different, so even though you say CC worked for your DD, it may not work for your DS as you're currently experiencing. In answer to your question, no. I do NOT believe that rocking him to sleep is that bad at all. But you ultimately have to do what is right for you. The most important thing is that both you & bubby are comfortable with whatever method you decide to use. But please, don't be too concerned about rocking & loving your baby to sleep (as someone else beautifully put to me). We have not come across any issues with our DS. Good luck smile

Posted by: kris.madi
Just wondering if rocking him to sleep is really that bad??

not if your ok with it.

i cc'd ds and it worked fantastically.

havent had to with dd and she is 6.5 months now. most times she goes to sleep by herself but there are some nights when she is a little off colour and wants to be snuggled to bed. but it is not something she wants/needs all the time.

i would do whatever you were comfortable with. you know your child better than anyone and what may have worked with one might not work for the other.
I too have 'experimented' with CC with my DD1, I am now much more educated and chose to use gentle sleep techniques with DD2 and now use these with DD1 too.
You might be interested in this which is the position paper on controlled crying from the Australian Assoc of Infant Mental Health.
Attending to your child's needs is not a bad thing, it is what mothers are supposed to do with their children!
The worst thing about the first 12 months is sleep deprivation. I have experienced it in one form or another with all 3 of my children. My first son had severe reflux so we got no sleep for 13 weeks until we went to Trescillian. They did do a form of CC I guess 3 mins then you went in and settled. If they didn't settle you cuddled them. By the end he slept fantastically but as previously said he wouldn't sleep anywhere else but his own cot! My 2nd (girl) slept like an angel until 6 months then the nightmare began. With her I just did what I had to to get some sleep! No. 3 is somewhere in the middle has good nights and bad nights. Can usually pop dummy in and he goes back to sleep for an hour or two then I feed him. Do what you feel comfortable with not what other people tell you to do, you really do know best. It took me till 10 weeks with number 3 to figure that one out...
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