Huggies Forum

Huggies® Ultimate
Nappies

Learn More
  1. home
  2. Baby Forum
  3. Baby
  4. Sleep & Settling
  5. Expectations of sleep

Expectations of sleep Lock Rss

I have been reading lots of threads on baby sleep and can't help but think that our expectations of sleep dont match the reality of how much baby's actually do sleep. Obviously some baby's sleep well but were you given the impression that your baby should sleep for long periods, that catnapping wasn't normal and that baby's should schedule feed/sleep. I can't help but think that the messages we recieve from 'experts' just doesn't stack up. What are your thoughts??
I read today that in the first year of a babies life you miss out on 750 hours of sleep -.-


good topic , yes very true
all the books say wake baby this time , bath baby this time , take baby to bed
come on since when do all babies fit into that schedule
save our sleep and contented baby
its crazy...but talking about baby sleep yes they sleep alot
oops baby crying go to go
good topic , yes very true
all the books say wake baby this time , bath baby this time , take baby to bed
come on since when do all babies fit into that schedule
save our sleep and contented baby
its crazy...but talking about baby sleep yes they sleep alot
oops baby crying go to go
generally i think a great deal of babies are over tired, i alway put up to about 8-9 months to bed again within 1.5 hours if possible for a sleep, I never let babies cry to sleep, and have been known to rock cuddle and bf to sleep or co sleep anything that works,

at work we try and get them down again within an hour and half and gradually stretch it out as they get older
A midwife told me once that babies in the last decade or two have become sleep deprived over time due to the SIDS recommendations and sleeping on their backs with no cot bumpers etc. Years ago babies slept on their tummies with cot bumpers and not much stimulation (not much to look at) when going to sleep. These days babies are on their backs, facing probably a fun looking mobile and can see around their entire room.

I also think it's funny that current trend is demand feeding and sleeping. That's what is taught to first time mums at pre-birth classes etc. Yet if you talk to mums who have been to a sleep school for their babies bad sleeping habits, they are taught that routine is the answer.

I personally believe in a routine (having been thrown into one with a prem baby that needing feeding every 3 hrs on the dot, then every 4 hrs), and have met (far) more mums with bubs who sleep well on a routine, than bubs that follow baby led feeding and sleep. I believe it takes the guess work out as to why they are crying and it enables you to read their cues alot better.

Anyway I know everyone is different, but I believe every baby (who is healthy etc) can be taught to sleep well if you start from very early on.
Oh that brings back memories before I had my first you get told so many different things it's just confusing
I kept getting told to expect to hear baby cry a lot I wasn't told how much they need to sleep just how much they cry
That never happened for me but i did keep getting told while in the hospital that it will
I took advice from a family friend (in laws side ) who's a midwife and has had 6 kids herself

And even for future kids will not change a thing

Establishing a good eating playing sleeping routine from that first week
And for day naps keep near you so it's noisy heaps of daylight
And night time keep it quite dark no verbal interaction
Even when feeding feed in the dark at night
And as they get older don't change them unless they have business in their nappy
It worked like a charm 2 good sleepers Day & night
Oh that brings back memories before I had my first you get told so many different things it's just confusing
I kept getting told to expect to hear baby cry a lot I wasn't told how much they need to sleep just how much they cry
That never happened for me but i did keep getting told while in the hospital that it will
I took advice from a family friend (in laws side ) who's a midwife and has had 6 kids herself

And even for future kids will not change a thing

Establishing a good eating playing sleeping routine from that first week
And for day naps keep near you so it's noisy heaps of daylight
And night time keep it quite dark no verbal interaction
Even when feeding feed in the dark at night
And as they get older don't change them unless they have business in their nappy
I also added my own a bath and massage before bed time and a good breast feed before and after bath
It worked like a charm 2 good sleepers Day & night

And they were 2 very different babies and still are 2 very different toddlers

I also think it's funny that current trend is demand feeding and sleeping. That's what is taught to first time mums at pre-birth classes etc. Yet if you talk to mums who have been to a sleep school for their babies bad sleeping habits, they are taught that routine is the answer.


It think the trend is actually routines rather than following baby's cues. It is really only the past few generations that have been obsessed with routines. Most cultures around the world are still following baby's cues and demand feeding/co sleeping etc. even sleep schools are now recognizing the risks of controlled crying and moving away from this system. It will be interesting to see how this shift with change the feed/play/sleep routine as well.
Totally agree. Our expectations of normal baby sleep is so skewed. I totally blame the "baby whisperers" and sleep schools, if we all just accepted that whatever our baby did was normal then how would they make money wink
With my first it was routine, routine, routine drummed into me from the beginning. I think I went a little bit crazy for those first couple of months trying to get him to fit into a predetermined mould of sleeping x amount of hours. Once I relaxed and accepted that mine was a child that slept well at night but didn't like to sleep much during the day, I was so much more relaxed and enjoyed being a mum. With this last babe, she is probably the one that sleeps the least out of all my kids, but has in most ways been the easiest, because I dont have any expectations of what she "should" be doing and just respond to her needs as they arise without trying to change her routine.

With this last babe, she is probably the one that sleeps the least out of all my kids, but has in most ways been the easiest, because I dont have any expectations of what she "should" be doing and just respond to her needs as they arise without trying to change her routine.


Same...though in our case I think DS2 actually slept about the same as his brother did but because my expectations had shifted I found it 'easier' to cope with than when DS1 was a baby and we spent basically a very stressed out 12 months trying to 'make' him sleep/eat/poo/whatever when he was supposed to instead of just following his cues. I found that I missed the vast majority of them because I was so focused on what the book/friends/strangers said he should be doing. I was a lot more attuned to my 'on demand'/set own routine baby and 'stress' was practically non-existent in our household.

He 'slept through', for the first time, MONTHS earlier than his brother did without the need for 'training' to do so..though that wasn't to last, but because I knew it was withing the bounds of 'normal', we just dealt with it.

What I suppose confuses, and frustrates me, is that adults aren't expected to (nor do they) sleep all night..yet babies should? huh


Well from what I have worked out from experience and from reading information that has had me either agree or disagree... routine does play a part in a happy baby. But perhaps what I do is more a baby led routine. Familiarity is what makes babies feel secure, so doing things in order of what they're used to keeps them feeling ok because they know what's coming next. However I've never stuck to certain times to do things. We do things as the need arises for them. My baby is only 2 weeks old, but he has worked out his own routine already. In the mornings he has a really alert period after his feed, so he has cuddles in bed for a while, and then I pop him under his playmat where he looks around at everything. I try to do the sleep, feed, play routine... however I feed on demand so its more like sleep, feed,play, feed!

The only thing I put a time on is how long he's been awake for. After an hour of being awake I put him to sleep again. Again... using the same method every time of wrapping him and putting him down which he takes as his cue to sleep. He's in the daylight for day sleeps and in a darkened room at night.

As for the amount of times waking in the night. Yes we expect babies to wake... but i guess its a matter of trying to 'organise' it if you like simply for the sake of our sanity! This time around my babe is waking anything from 2 to 6 times a night, but I'm trusting that because he goes straight back to sleep when he's finished feeding that these times will stretch out as he gets older.

With dd I fed and rocked her to sleep. So her normal for sleep time was for me to hold her, and I effectively had no sleep for months on end to the point that I became suicidal.

So my opinion on all this is that no, I don't feel that my expectations are unrealistic. I think some people are misguided sometimes.... but all that information is out there so that people like me don't make the same mistake twice. Don't forget that its up to the individual to make informed choices. I've read everything there is to read, and discarded certain bits I don't feel is for me. Therefore we can't say that our sleep issues are due to a certain book etc. Sleep issues are created by what we as parents make 'normal' for a baby.

A midwife at my work always says babies arnt born knowing how to sleep. They rely on us to teach them this.

And there certainly ARE sleep issues. My daughter was shocking! Asleep for 30 minutes, awake for 2 hours, night and day. Only because she'd wake up in a different place from where she went to sleep. I created a habit that affected everyone in our house and I was desperate by the time she was 13 months.

I'm thankful that this time I've had the information and the support available to me to be able to avoid this. I've been so much more confident in what I'm doing this time, which has made me feel so much more relaxed. All I've wanted this time around is to enjoy my baby because I didn't have that last time. So far we are going fantastically well, although its early days yet!

I know there are those that completely disagree with me (ruby! tongue) and my philosophy on that is that we are all products of our own experiences. There are no right or wrong answers on subjects like these.... we just do what we have to do to survive mentally and physically!

Sorry for the novel.... I've agonised about this subject a lot!




Sign in to follow this topic