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Starting routine... Lock Rss

Ok guys, hit me with your ideas on routines and self settling. I'm at a loss, don't know what to do. Little man was so good till we went on holidays, and has been a pain ever since. I consoled myself with the fact that he slept through but even that's not a guarantee anymore. We have no routine whatsoever, and I want to fix that. He tends to catnap most of the day, but occasionally will sleep longer than 40 min.

So, next week I'm focussing on him. Staying home all week and sorting him out. I need to start a proper routine, and it want to get him to self settle so that he starts sleeping better. I just don't know how to do it, DD was the same and I just left her mostly....

At the moment I feed him all over the place, which is really bad and I know I need to sort it. I usually wake, feed, play, feed, sleep. But when he only sleeps for 40min I don't want to feed him right away so I let him play, and then we are already off on a bad foot.

So please please can you give me advice on what to do. I'm starting to get to the point where I don't really enjoy having him, and that makes me sad, so I want to sort it soon as possible... Thanks smile



I love baby bliss routines.... (Honestly, I should be a consultant for these guys, the number of times I say this!)

They are here and FREE!

Oops, I tried to put the link in but their site is down for maintenance...if your interested PM me your email address and I can send you the PDF.
I haven't used baby bliss but I've heard a lot too about how good they are.

We just did sort of feed play sleep routine and that worked for us. I think a good idea too is to work out your babies tired cues and put them down when first spying these cues. We had a good night time routine before bed too which was feed play bath feed bed

Good luck smile



How old is he?
My dd1 was in an awesome routine from about 3/4 mths old. I read tizze halls save our sleep. While I found her routine too strict I took note of how long baby should be awake for, tired signs, and settling ideas.

dd2 was not interested in routine. She slept well at night, waking for 1 feed from birth til 1 yr old when she finally slept through coz I swaped a feed for water. But during the day she cat napped, 45 mins. She followed the same routine of how long she would stay awake for but only slept 45 mins at a time. So when she was 8 mths old she might have up to 5 catnaps! Where as dd1 at 8 mths was having 2 solid naps as day.

So I don't really have any advice other then all kids are different. And dd2 survived only cat napping smile.

A positive was I didn't HAVE to be home at certain times for baby, coz there was no routine to muck up if she had 20 mins in the car. I knew we would always make it to playgroup and if dd2 needed to she could nap in the pram she could. Again it didn't matter if she got woken up.
*mummsy* wrote:
I love baby bliss routines.... (Honestly, I should be a consultant for these guys, the number of times I say this!)

They are here and FREE!

Oops, I tried to put the link in but their site is down for maintenance...if your interested PM me your email address and I can send you the PDF.


doublewammy wrote:
I haven't used baby bliss but I've heard a lot too about how good they are.

We just did sort of feed play sleep routine and that worked for us. I think a good idea too is to work out your babies tired cues and put them down when first spying these cues. We had a good night time routine before bed too which was feed play bath feed bed

Good luck smile


I think I have heard they were pretty good too, will have to have a read when their site is back up. The info would be great though mummsy, thanks!

MamaMum wrote:
How old is he?
My dd1 was in an awesome routine from about 3/4 mths old. I read tizze halls save our sleep. While I found her routine too strict I took note of how long baby should be awake for, tired signs, and settling ideas.

dd2 was not interested in routine. She slept well at night, waking for 1 feed from birth til 1 yr old when she finally slept through coz I swaped a feed for water. But during the day she cat napped, 45 mins. She followed the same routine of how long she would stay awake for but only slept 45 mins at a time. So when she was 8 mths old she might have up to 5 catnaps! Where as dd1 at 8 mths was having 2 solid naps as day.

So I don't really have any advice other then all kids are different. And dd2 survived only cat napping smile.

A positive was I didn't HAVE to be home at certain times for baby, coz there was no routine to muck up if she had 20 mins in the car. I knew we would always make it to playgroup and if dd2 needed to she could nap in the pram she could. Again it didn't matter if she got woken up.


He is 3 months old. The catnapping wouldn't bother me if he self settled and didn't take 30min walking around my house (I'm soooo sick of walking the house, I need a new one for fresh scenery wink ) to get him to sleep. From about 4-7/8 months DD was the same as your DD2, and as it only took 5min to get her to sleep it didn't bother me, and yes, I liked the flexibility too. DS on the other hand has short naps, and by the time I get to late afternoon he is super grumpy and exhausted. I can hear in his cries when he wakes up that he wants to be asleep, he just is incapable of going to sleep without a long fight and sometimes I just can't do it anymore. He is getting heavy and really strong too, so the fights are actually fights!

I know we will get there, and this time next year I will look back and think it wasn't so bad, but right here right now I'm struggling. I do know that I need to sort out his feed play sleep part of the routine too, that will hopefully go a long way to sorting him out...



I should say my kids didn't self settle until closer to 6 months. The baby bliss routines more give you a loose guide on how much sleep and how often to feed. I liked them as I liked having an 'order' that we did things. For us it made it easier to eliminate why they were grizzly, it sort of took the guess work out it. Sort of smile
I think our kids liked knowing what was happening next. Predictability. Not so much a really strict routine....IYKWIM smile

Plus, mine were more in 'cycles' until 12 weeks. Then they started getting a little more predicable on sleeps and feeds.

I used to rock our bubs to sleep too in their bassinet. We had to almost 'teach' DS to sleep longer as he used to catnap so I'd go in there and rock him back to sleep with no talking etc. By 6 months he was a dream sleeper smile Still is smile Touch wood!!!!!!

When I get your email I'll send those routines through smile

Good luck smile

ETA: I looked back on my message, and geez...I'm pretty certain I overuse smile smile smile
When my son turned 5months I tried a strategy that was recommended to me by a friend who had previously tried it with her son. They strongly suggest waiting until at least 5months old because by that time solids have been introduced and they should be capable of sleeping 8hours unless of course there is an underlying issue. It's called "save our sleep". I bought it over the Internet and they send you a link to your email address. It may be available in book form but I'm not quite sure. It worked a treat for my son. It took two nights of me doing their recommended routine and from then on he would self settle and sleep through the night. Hes been a great sleeper ever since (now 2.4yrs old) All the best:)
I don't think it's reasonable to expect a 3 mth old to self settle personally. That's not to say they can't at that age, and a routine will help but if he wakes I think that requires your attention.
I didn't really follow a set routine with any of my kids, just went with the flow and they kind of fell into thier own routine. I think the main thing I would look at if he's waking after only 40mins is feeding. Does he feed to sleep? Do you think he's taking a full feed or falling asleep before he's full?
The other thing you could try if he consistently wakes at the 40min mark is to set a reminder for yourself to go to him after 35mins and pat/shush/rock or whatever you normally do to settle. It might be enough to get him into the next sleep cycle before he fully wakes up. After a while he'll be able to do it on his own.
Thing is, I don't necessarily want him to self settle, but what we are doing right now isn't working. When he gets tired I wrap him, then pick him up and walk/rock him to sleep. I'm often walking a screaming fighting baby for up to 40min, and it's not fun. I hate it and I dread it, and he is getting strong so it's hard work! Rocking him in his bassinet doesn't work because he screams, plus I can't stand in his room for 40min and expect DD to happily play in the living room. And then he only sleeps for 40min at a time and it hardly seems worth it... That's the only reason I want to teach him to self settle.

When he only has a short nap I do try rock him back to sleep again, no talking, no eye contact etc, but sometimes that takes 20min too! Although I have to admit that about half the time when I put him down for the second time he does end up having a decent nap. But yeah, it's just that getting him to sleep sucks and it needs to change...



Cuddles for Me wrote:
When he only has a short nap I do try rock him back to sleep again, no talking, no eye contact etc, but sometimes that takes 20min too! Although I have to admit that about half the time when I put him down for the second time he does end up having a decent nap. But yeah, it's just that getting him to sleep sucks and it needs to change...

It really does sound like he's having trouble transitioning to the next sleep cycle without fully waking. I think it sounds like going in before he wakes might work for him.
Also you say when you notice he's tired you wrap him and start the sleep routine. I'm wondering if maybe that's leaving it too late. Try timing his awake times for the next day or two to get an idea of how long he spends awake before showing tired signs. Then use that as a guide to get the sleep-time routine going a bit sooner (just by 10 mins or so). Good luck smile
You've probably done this and it doesn't work but I'll mention anyway... have you tried just wrapping him then putting him straight in his bed in nice dark room? With my sister's daughter the more she jiggled and rocked etc the longer it would take for her to settle. She just wanted to be put down and be still! Odd child haha.



Pixie Chick wrote:
You've probably done this and it doesn't work but I'll mention anyway... have you tried just wrapping him then putting him straight in his bed in nice dark room? With my sister's daughter the more she jiggled and rocked etc the longer it would take for her to settle. She just wanted to be put down and be still! Odd child haha.


I have tried, but only on the odd occasion, and usually after I've been trying for 20+min already so he is super upset. Might have to try for 5-10 min every nap time for a day or two and see how it goes. Wish he would do that though, all my nephew and nieces put themselves to sleep. Would be nice!

~Ruby~Gloom~ wrote:
Cuddles for Me wrote:
When he only has a short nap I do try rock him back to sleep again, no talking, no eye contact etc, but sometimes that takes 20min too! Although I have to admit that about half the time when I put him down for the second time he does end up having a decent nap. But yeah, it's just that getting him to sleep sucks and it needs to change...
It really does sound like he's having trouble transitioning to the next sleep cycle without fully waking. I think it sounds like going in before he wakes might work for him.
Also you say when you notice he's tired you wrap him and start the sleep routine. I'm wondering if maybe that's leaving it too late. Try timing his awake times for the next day or two to get an idea of how long he spends awake before showing tired signs. Then use that as a guide to get the sleep-time routine going a bit sooner (just by 10 mins or so). Good luck smile


I have thought that is probably it, but wasn't sure since his sleep is all over the place. He could wake up anywhere from 20min to 1hr after putting him down, and I know he can sleep longer than that cos he occasionally does 2+hours! and sleeps through at night. If he was the same every nap it would be easier, but it's really all over the place, and I'm scared to go in there when he is asleep just in case I disturb him and he wakes up. Am writing everything down today though, so will see. But it's not looking good, spent 1hr out of 3.5 trying to get him to sleep! And this weekend will be all over of the place as it's my birthday tomorrow, church and Mother's Day on Sunday... sigh... Will try staying home next week to sort him out though. Hmm, might try TT DD at the same time, since I'm home anyways...



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