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  5. Am I doing the right thing after 6 months of no sleep?

Am I doing the right thing after 6 months of no sleep? Lock Rss

I need some reassurance. I have an 11 month old DS who since 5 months old has turned into the worst sleeper. I have tried EVERYTHING. I've seen a paediatrian twice in case it's something medical but he is fine and growing well and a happy boy. I have seen a CYH nurse million times and got on the waiting list for Torrens House but he won't get in as the waiting list is too long I even saw Dr Symon - the Sleep Doctor and followed his routine and it didn't work. I have tried controlled crying. You name it, I've done it. I have a 9 year old who can't sleep because of it. I'm a zombie at work. I can't even take him into bed as my husband drinks and it is too dangerous. I've tried a bed in DS's room but that doesn't work. He wakes up every 45 min crying and whinging. He is not in pain I just think he got into a bad habit. My last solution is to bring his cot back into our room. I feel guilty doing it but I'm desperate. Please can someone tell me if I'm doing the right thing? A locum suggested the drug "melatonin" which is actually a sleep hormone but paediatrian says only after 2 years of age. Sorry for the long post. I just feel sick with guilt that I'm doing the wrong thing
Hi Julie!... firstly, GBH it sounds like you need it!
I would agree with you that it sounds like your wee man has got into a bad habit but so be it, it happens to the best of us.
Personally I think that if you feel bringing his cot in your room is going to help both you, him and your family some sleep than DO IT!!!. I definitely don't think that you should be beating yourself up about it or thinking that it will some how "set' him back or what ever... Stop the Mummy guilt!!!
You have to do what you feel is right, and in the short term right now getting sleep sounds like its paramount!!.
If it doesn't work than its something else you've tried. At least your trying, your doing a good job Mama!!.

I don't have much advise on the sleep issue I afraid... TBH honest I'm a bit of a "hard" mum, I ignore the protests and cries ( as long as it doesn't get hysterical or in genuine pain etc). Ds gets put to bed at approx. the same time every night and he doesn't get back out until morning ( provided there isn't a genuine reason I.e dirty nappy/ illness). Whether he goes to sleep at that time or later is up to him, I cant force him to sleep I can only teach him what's routine. This took me ages to learn to do and yes there are some nights that are crappy and sleepless and I do get up and comfort. We're not perfect but we try our best!. Kids are crafty and learn habits and tricks super fast... mine does and if I give him an inch he'll take a mile lol!.
In saying all that, I trust my gut too. I say I'm a hard Mum, but I'm not a heartless one.. I still second guess everything I do and wonder if I'm doing the right thing everyday!
Just try to trust yourself and know that Mums know best!!!
Good luck smile
Has he been checked for sleep apnea? A girl I know of had a child who woke like that every 45 mins and that's what it turned out to be. She only noticed when 1 night she slept in his room and watched him sleep and observed he was stopping breathing and that was waking him.

Other than that I am similar to the previous poster and am not opposed to a bit if crying to sort it out. You've got to be consistent though to make it as quick and painless as possible. If you flip flop around with your methods or cave in randomly etc you'll just confuse him and it won't work.

Verbal reassurance is a good method to try if you want to.

I only just read about sleep apnea today. TBH I have slept next to him and haven't noticed simply because I am so exhausted that it takes me a second to go to sleep. I am seeing his original paediatrician in a week (the one from hospital) to get his opinion so will see what he suggests about sleep apnea. Yes I probably am soft but not as soft as I was with my first but being a 9 year age gap I have forgotten how hard it is and having this one at 40 seems so much harder. I think I am soft because he is a miracle baby and I'm scared that if I don't spend the time with him then I look and feel ungrateful. I really gave tried cc over an hour period but he just gets so distressed that he headbangs on the cot and really hurts himself. I get nervous at this time every night not knowing how this night will be. My DH is bathing him as he does every night and we have always followed a strict routine as I am a little OCD about routines. Fingers crossed a better night tonight and will wait some answers from the paed.
I once read something about sleep habits and the writer said "it's only wrong if YOU have a problem with it" eg. Some people love co-sleeping/bed sharing and for them it's great, but if if you will hate it then it's the wrong choice for you.

There is nothing wrong with you moving his cot into your room if you think it might help! You do what you've gotta do.

I really hope you can figure something out soon!

"Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do."

I don't have too much advice other than do u have a set bedtime routine ? ? i have a set routine for every night dinner 5:30 bath 6pm and bed 6:30. I am not a fan of cry it out methoda or controlled crying. I just do cuddles and reassurance to let her know i am there and this has worked for us. She stopped waking and got out of the habit. Did anything trigger this pattern of sleep ? Did it coincide with moving I to a cot or own room ? Think of what might have been they trigger and perhaps work from there. Good luck.
Yes we have had a strict bedtime since birth. 6.30 bath (which he loves!!) then bed at 7. The only thing I can think of that may have triggered it was starting solids which was at 5.5 months. That's why I took him to many doctors and pediatricians to see if he has a food allergy and he doesn't. I stripped his diet right down to basic pumpkin puree and apple puree then slowly introduced other vegies etc and it made no difference. I would be so happy to have him sleep in our bed but I can't chance with a husband who drinks a lot and will forget he is there. I only put him on top of covers without pillows for safety but I just don't trust my husband. sad
I'm going to start off by saying don't feel guilty or bad! You are trying everything and obviously doing your very best to provide for your child's needs. Your love for him shows in the way that you're always trying to help him. You're his mother, and know him best - no one can 'tell you what to do' if they haven't been there themselves. There's nothing wrong with going with a solution that will (hopefully) give you all some sleep smile

I don't know enough about the medications & rules these days, but my parents had to resort to sleeping medication before I was one in order to get me into a routine. My sleeping was all over the place. Is there any other type of medication you can use?

PS Don't feel bad about bringing the cot into your room. He won't always be there - he will grow out of it (or you'll find something else that works). Our son is 16 months and in our room (still) tongue Do what's best for your child, and for you xx
Have you checked out the food intolerance network page ( He could be very sensitive to something in his diet, apparently apples and other acidic foods can be the cause.
Other than that, there's nothing wrong with having his cot in your room if you think it may help. He might just simply want your presence and be close to you, after all he is still a baby. All babies are different though and controlled crying is not for everyone, it certainly wasn't for me. I co-slept with both of my kids as it just felt right and we all got more sleep.
Best of luck and hope you get some sleep soon smile
I know this isn't helpful because right now this stage is dreadful and you just want an answer so you can fix this 'problem' and get some normal sleep again. But - I have had two small people who did exactely the same to me for two years - they woke every 30 -40 minutes and my fault was that I breastfed them back to sleep each time. I just slept with them and got through it. My husband slept in the spare bed for years!!! I have a very tolerant husband.
You know, it's not that unusual and it surely doesn't mean there is anything wrong, and I promise that he will grow out of it and this will just be like a bad dream in a few years time. I go and look at the little ones who are now much bigger sleeping all night in their own beds and shudder at how awful they were!! Hang in there and know that it won't last for ever.
I want to start with saying it's ok, it's ok to feel how you feel. I've been there with my DS2 when he was 2mths he began sleeping for 45 mins then awake and this carried on for a few months. I was about to return to work and finally decided to get help. We went to Tresillian (it's a sleep clinic) and went through their process which worked for us.
The one thing I really learnt from them is that it takes 21 days to establish a new routine and another 21 days for it to stick. you will get good days and bad days but you must stick to what works for you.
If bringing the cot back into your room works then do it, but also look into long term fixes as well.
My son is now 3yrs and sleeps right through and has since he was 1yr, he still wakes occasionally but re-settles very easily.
Keep searching for answers and do what feels natural and best for you and your family. good luck!

You say he has been tested for allergies but he could have intolerances?... I personally had food allergy testing done for myself a few years ago because i kept getting bad stomach cramps etc, etc and nothing came up but i went to "nutritional & environmental medicine" Doctor who picked up that i was intolerant to Cows milk, Egg, Soy, Wheat, you name it...
Best of luck
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