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  5. Controlled Crying - HELP

Controlled Crying - HELP Lock Rss

My daughter is 7 weeks old now and i was wondering when i should start controlled crying?
I want to start when she is young but every time i hear her crying i cant help going and getting her (i'm hopeless!)

How hard was it for everyone to do?

How long should i do it for?

If anyone could give me any advice i'd love to hear it!

Mummy to Talana Michelle Kimberley (13/12/2003)

I was told that you shouldn't do it until around 6 mths of age. But everyone's circumstances are different. There's nothing wrong with giving her a cuddle when she cries. Don't forget they've been in our tummies for 9mths being kept warm and hearing our heartbeat and all the other noises our bodies make. So they need to get used to being out of the womb. Maybe just cuddle her until she is calm and always put her back down awake so she gets used to putting herself to sleep in her own bed.

I know this isn't the answer you want but I hope this helped a little.

Vic, 2 girls - 9 yo & 17mth old

Hi Leanne,
I wouldn't start controlled crying until she is at least around 6 months of age. At seven weeks, she will only cry for a reason, eg. tired, hungry, wet, dirty, pain. You will learn to tell between the different cries, and will know what she needs. If you find she is still crying and she has been fed, changed, had a sleep, and doesn't seem to be in pain, she may want a dummy. Some babies just like the sucking stimulation. You may find you will have to try several different types/brands before you find one she likes. Hopefully though, you will be able to help her crying without resorting to a dummy. Hope this helps. Congratulations on your precious daughter.

Mother of 3, Qld

Thanks for your reply, i think i will wait a little longer to start the controlled crying.

Was it hard when you started the controlled crying?

I cant bear to think of her crying at all, let alone me letting her cry...

Mummy to Talana Michelle Kimberley (13/12/2003)

Hi Leanne, I was just curious as to why you wanted to start control crying?

Rachel, 20mth girl + 1 on the way

See now i realise where i went wrong - i listened to my mother!
Apparently my mum said that the earlier you do it, the easier it is for them to get used to it.
It seemed to make sense at the time, but now i realise that i will definatley be waiting a while before i start doing it.

Thanks for your advice, if anyone else has any tips on how to make it easier so i know for the future, please let me know!

Mummy to Talana Michelle Kimberley (13/12/2003)

Hi Leanne,
if you learn to read Talana's tired signs and then put her to bed awake, you probably won't need to use control crying at all. If she rubs her eyes or rubs the back of her hand across her nose then she is tired and should be put to bed for a sleep. Even rubbing her ear (provided it's not an ear infection) is a sign. When they are a bit older she will yawn as well. The trick is to put her to bed when she shows these signs. If you put her to bed after waiting to long then that's when you will have trouble getting her to go to sleep.
This is what has worked for me, there is no set time for when I put Madison to bed for day naps, I just wait for her tired signs and then put her in bed awake. Most of the time she will go to sleep on her own. It has failed when I've waited too long or when she isn't feeling well.

The other thing I started at around 2 mths of age is a set routine for her to go to bed at night. Basically at the same time every evening it's bath, breastfeed then bed. Now that she is on solids it's dinner, bath, breastfeed then bed.
I hope my tips help you, hopefully you will not need controlled crying at all and if you do don't feel bad about it, after a few tough nights all will be well.
Good Luck

Vic, 2 girls - 9 yo & 17mth old

Regarding controlled crying there is some interesting literature on the Nursing Mothers website:
There is also a few articles regarding co-sleeping too.
Hey jacmad,

Thankyou for your reply.

Talana doesn't really show any tired signs apart from yawning but i am starting to notice that she does become more hyper when she is getting tired and for the last 2 days she has been going to bed awake for some of her naps - so thats good!

I think that i might have to spend one good week at home starting her on a routine for sleep - no distractions.

I'm going to start a routine at night too, but because i dont really have a routine either it is a bit hard for me to do!

Ah well, it will get easier with time i suppose, as long as i dont have to go through weeks of crying, i'll be happy!

Thanks again for your reply!


Mummy to Talana Michelle Kimberley (13/12/2003)

Hi Leanne,
no problem, glad to help. You have the right idea. I forgot to mention that you do need to stay home for a week to get her into a good sleep pattern. If you go out too much then bubs doesn't settle due to the constant stimulation. Once she starts to sleep, then going out for the odd occasion doesn't hurt. I always make sure that Madison gets her morning sleep and then do my running around in the afternoon. That way if she misses her afternoon sleep we catch up with a catnap late afternoon.
Don't worry about routine, just try to do the same thing every evening at roughly the same time and you'll be surprised how quickly it will just happen naturally every night - you won't even notice that your in a routine.

Vic, 2 girls - 9 yo & 17mth old

Im going to start a routine, now more than ever im determined to do it (look at the time of this post) Talana is AWAKE!
The poor thing, i think she is confused between day and night.
Anyway, im going to go and see if she will settle down in bed with me, another habit im looking to break soon!
Thanks once again for you response!

Mummy to Talana Michelle Kimberley (13/12/2003)

Hey Tanith,
I tried looking on the site but did not find the co-sleeping part, can you tell me where it is?
Other than that thankyou for your reply!

Mummy to Talana Michelle Kimberley (13/12/2003)

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