Distant Dad

I am the very proud mum of a perfect little 12wk boy. My partner and I parted 2wks before I found out I was pregnant, on good terms. Having come from a broken family I know how important it is to know your dad growing up, I also unfortunately know how painful it is for your dad not to want to know you.
I live on the opposite side of the country to the dad, but he is in a position where he can visit regular.
He has not seen (and has only called once or twice) our son since he was 4wks. He has the attitude that our baby won't know who he is until he is much older, so whats the point. He rings to say he will be over in a few wks and then a few days later ph's to say he can't make it, this has happened 3 times now. I am worried that he will continue this as our son gets older, resulting in a little boys heart being broken cause his dad is making promises he's not keeping. I've tried to explain this to him.
Our baby isn't any less his son now than he will be in 6mth, 1yr or 5yrs.
It's so important to me for my baby to know his Dad, but I want to protect him as well.
I would appreciate any thoughts.

Hi Kir, it is your ex partner who is missing out on the joy of seeing his new son, but I can see his point - how many hours drive away is he? He may not know how delightful new babies are and how exciting it is to see them grow and develop, to hold them in your arms and feel them breathe. What makes you think he will always break his promises? Does he already have a pattern of that with you? He may turn out to be reliable and trustworthy once your son is older. Why not give him a chance, and if he breaks your trust, then deal with him appropriately. I can understand your fears, but they may be ungrounded and based more on your personal experience than on reality. Jen

There is a great website for the National Council of Single Mothers. www.ncsmc.org.au They offer lots of good advice from legal advice to emotional. I would adise writing to them with your concerns as they are all experienced nd I've found them really helpful.

Thanks for your thoughts and the website (I will definately check it out. It's a tough situation and one that I thought I would never be in.