How can i get dad more involved?

Hi Guy's,
I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions as to how I can get dad more involved with our son.

He works long hours running his own business, & don't get me wrong, he absolutely adores Noah & does spend a little time playing & talking to him when he get the chance.
But if I ask him to bath bubby while I'm cooking dinner, it's always the same reply, "I'll help you".
I don't know if he's afraid to bath him or whether he thinks it's my job.

He was brought up with old values, where it's the man's job to bring home the bacon, so to speak & the womens to look after the household.
He's only changed 2 nappies in our son's life. I'd love him to be more involved & more interested in the simple day to day chores.

The problem is I don't want my husband to miss out on the joy & simple things in life that our son brings to our lives & I definately don't want Noah missing out on quality time bonding with daddy.

Please help, any suggestions are bound to help our situation. Thanks.
Cheers!
Storm.

This post has been edited by the moderator.

Hi, i am a single mum so I can't speak from personal experience but my good friend got her partener involved by simply handing him bubby whenever he was in the shower. This gave them a quick moment alone and as dad became used to it all he took over the drying and dressing too!

My own father was extremely distant from us until we were toddling and it never hurt us - it's just how he is. With his grandson he's been a bit cuddlier but is still only just getting comfy with him now he's crawling.

Good luck.

Thankyou all so much for your advice, if anyone thinks of any other things I can do, I'd really appreciate your help.
I'll try your suggestions and see how they go. Thanks again.
Cheers!
Storm.

This post has been edited by the moderator.

Hi Storm,
What others have suggested is the basic key & it is mainly a confidence issue. They (partners) see how well we mums appear to be confident with bubs and don't want to "look" insecure in our eyes. I encourage my hubby as much as possible when he interacts with our baby girl, words like "she likes you holding her like that" or "she loves you talking to her" little things like that help. I also make a point in getting hubby to look after Jordan when I do little things around the house like toni says. I go to Yoga classes & hubby gets 2 hrs alone with Jordan and I have found this is great to boost interest & confidence because you are not around and its just him & baby, also makes him feel useful apart from "bringing home the bacon". My hubby has become so used to interacting with Jordan now that it doesn't embarrass him to be caught singing to baby & making sounds & noises anymore. Hope this helps.

Hi Storm,

Like some of the other women, I always re-assure my husband that he's doing a "great job" when he helps me with our 6mth old boy, Jordan. This is mainly at bath time which is a really fun time. I make sure I walk out of the bathroom and leave them alone together as much as I can, so they can bond as much as possible. I also encourage my husband to feed Jordan his early morning bottle on a weekend because he is so happy and settled in the morning, therefore it's a happy experience for him.

If you can just remember to involve your partner when it's a "fun time" with your baby ie. bath time, play time, that way it will be a fun and easy experience for him.

Hope that helps you.

Sam

Hi,
Thankyou all very much for your reply's. From what I can tell it all comes down to confidence, I guess when I think back to how helpless I felt when we brought Noah home from hospital. My husbands probably feeling the same way.
I'll start trying a few of the tips you all have given me and hopefully hubby will start feeling more at ease.
Thanks again.
Cheers!
Lynette.

Hi Storm,
I agree with the others about confidence. My husband works away Mon-Fri, so had to get used to the baby every weekend. He's much better now that he feels confident, but I also had to try really hard not to butt in all the time or correct him when he did something outside of the 'routine'. In the end I encouraged him to take her out when he went on errands or stay with her at home while I popped out. That way they had their own time together without bossy/nervous old mum.
Our baby's now 8 1/2 months and we decided to wean off breastfeeding at the same time as teaching her to settle in the cot. My husband did all the settling so she didn't go for the breast milk. I feel like I could go off for a weekend with the girls now!

I asked my hubby to run the bath for me while I udressed my daughter.

A short time after that I asked just handed him the baby and the bottle and said 'Can you do this while I race through the shower'.

I have also gone for a coffee with a friend for a couple of hours while Kaitlyn was asleep and hubby was home alone with her and didn't give him a choice.

Slowly his confidence levels rose and is becomming more involved. We still have a way to go though.

Hi Storm,
I know your add was posted a while ago but i was hoping things went well for you and you now had some advise for me.(or any one else out there!) My husband was once the more patient person in our relationship, but that has all changed now. I understand he may be nervous, but as soon as our son cries he gets frustrated and wants to give up. I am finding it relaly difficult now as I have to go back to work and my husband never seems to relax around the baby..help