Hi, I left my son's father when I was 15 weeks pregnant. We were engaged and had been together for about 14 months but a good 12 months of the relationship had been hell. All I can say is that I was one of those people who would look at abused women and say 'That will never be me' but it happens so slowly and you end up such a headcase you can't find which way is up anymore.
I'd probably still be there if it wasn't for Ezrah, but once I was pregnant things changed. My pathetic self esteem wasn't a factor anymore because the most important thing was this tiny life inside. I stayed there for the first trimester cos I wanted to 'give it a shot' with his father. But after a week of bliss things went back to being even worse than before.
I left him and as I stayed away longer I got stronger. I tried to keep up contact and told him he was still welcome in Ezrah's life but he continued to torment me in every way so I cut off contact. He has made no attempt at involvement since.
I made all my decisions for Ezrah. Sure he doesn't have his dad, but he also doesn't have to live with an abusive person with no respect and therefor I don't have to worry about my son growing up to continue the pattern. My brother is very involved with Ezrah as is my father and many of my male friends. I now get to choose that Ezrah has positive role models around him.
I am sure your partener will continue his involvement, but at least if you remove yourself from a volitile situation your daughter will get to see a mum and dad who are happy and relaxed even if they're not together. I think that a tension free environment is a greater gift to your children then mum and dad being together for the sake of the children.
You know deep down if your choice is right or wrong. Take some time away from the fighting and if it is relief you feel, then follow that feeling because no doubt your little girl will feel that relief too.