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cheating Rss

Hi,
i am ure that a few of you have heard about me and what has happened in my life - separated before child being born and hopeing to reconcile with husband.

well i need some advice now. i heard last weeks from a very old friend, my husbands mother and 2 of his friends that before he went away overseas that he started to do illegeal drugs and cheated on me (during august).

i am very confused he gets back on tuesday and i am too scared to confront him as i dont want to hear the truth and get hurt again. i believe honestly without him telling me what has happened that he is guilty as i can relate his actions to covering up his secret life.

i can not forgive a man, whether it is husband or boyfriend for cheating, and i cannot understand why he would do this to me or his child.

he told his mothre that when he gets back he wants us to be a family again and he is ready to change and be a proper husband and father. but i believe the damage has been done and you cant just wake up one day and say im sick of being naughty from now on im going to be good. how could i ever trust him again?

i am only 20 and my daughter is 1 and 1 month. i need some advice. im just confused and very upset

thankyou for reading it

aimee

Aimee, 4 year old princess

Hi Aimee,

I see no has replied, but you have lots of people reading... So here goes...

I would like to say once a cheater always a cheater, but things and life in general is more complex than that... Your man sounds very very confused... I think the biggest thing is the drugs... Is he still taking them (are they the highly addictive type)... Is he likely to go back on them etc...

You need to go in to it with eyes wide open...!

Good luck!!!! Always listen to the voice inside!

Mandy, VIC, Mum of Hayley Born 02.06.05

Hi Aimee,
Everyone is giving you really great advice.
I cheated on my last partner a number of times, and also took drugs etc. If he has done it this once then I really wouldn't trust him again... my last partner gave me soooo many chances and I just couldn't/ wouldn't stop. I called the relationship off because to be honest I didn't love him and felt horrible for what I had done. It took meeting my current partner and REALLY falling in love to know that it is definitely not what you would do to someone that you TRULY love. It is so hard for me now to trust people as I was so good at hiding what I did, and can't help but feel that I deserve the same treatment... which I can say will absolutely tear me to pieces. You really are going to have to do what is right for you and your baby... I think either way it is going to be really really hard on you.

]

HI Aimee,

Firstly i would like to say how sorry i am that you have to go through this . It is not bad enough that you have a bew baby to look after alas you have to try to sort out what and why your husband did what he did.

I have some advice for you and this comes as i saw what happens first hand when a man walks out or cheats on his wife for whatever reason. My sister was married for a 2 years and her husband would never want to do anything with our side of the family. he would always make excuses and especially where it concerned me and my fiance now husband. To cut a long story short he was emotionally abusing my sister as he had an affair with his secreatry for 5 years - mins you he still went on and married my sister. Never the less one day my sister caught him and walked out he tried to reconcile, as you are saying, although my sister realised that she cannot go back to that, the decision although it was hard at the time was simple. Basically she thought that is she goes back what is stopping him from doing it again ? Nothing a Zebra never changes its stripes no matter how hard they try. My sister put her life into perspective . She sat down adn thought about what it would be like if she went back and if they had kids, and the picture didnt look to good so she didnt take him back.

Do you honestly want your child to grow up in a hostile environment?

I know deep down inside that love should conquer all although sometimes we have to have a look at the bigger picture and see what will be better for us for our future and no one elses .

If I was in your position Aimee, I'd think about this and see where i want my child to be in the future and how your home life is going to affect that upbringing.I would take that little human being and look it in its eyes adn think about all the hurt adn deception that has already happended.

I am sure you have a panel of supporters out there, just make sure you lean on them for support.

I would really like to know how you went.

Take care and all thebest
CC's

CC's

Hi aimee, i know how u feel im new on here so u wouldnt of heard of me. I too separted from my sons dad before the birth and although i never got back with him i still went back untill i realised i was just one of those on the side. im only 20 aswell and my sons nearly 6 and a half months. A week after babies dad and i found out we were having a baby he kissed a 13 yr old (hes 22 now) not to mention she was like a lil sister to me. He then done every kind of foreplay that exists with a 14 yr old i knew of then slept with 2 15yr olds in one night (i know coz i walked in the folowing morning and he was in bed naked alongside one of them). Then baby was born and i thought he had come around...WRONG! I still didnt get back with him but i still went back if u know what i mean, we barely spent a day or night apart then oneday i showed up at his house unexpected as id stepped on a nail and had to go for a tetnus shot and wanted him to come with so as usual i walked straight into his house (i even had my own keys) and one of his mates was a bit weird and said ohh uhh hes still asleep i think, I just shrugged it off soo thats never stopped me before as i walked down to his room i thought it was strange the door was closed whilst i wasnt there but didnt think anything of it and BAM i opened the door and there he was pants down to the knees receiving oral from another gal i knew of but didnt realy know. I went nuts kicked him outta the room so i could talk to this chick i then found out that he'd been dating this girl since before our son was born. lets just say there relationship ended the and there but he still went back for sex just one more time afterwards. I know its hard girl and i should realy take my own advice but u dont need him, move on with ur life, he doesnt deserve you. Good Luck sorry for this being so long but lets just say in one way or another i know how u feel and to this day i dread not being with him so i go back and then its thrown back in my face. HOPE ALL WORKS OUT WELL!

Danny-17/08/05

honey im sorry to say but i always belive "once a cheater always a cheater"
so sorry to say it but i have been in a situation(though without my daughter)


i was dating a guy when i was younger,he did drugs which i ignored but i had to find out off my brother and friends that he was "VERY" unfaithful
it hurt so bad and when i confronted him he acted as though it was nothing!!!!

It's hard to walk away but i would be thinking about my child firstly

im so lucky to have my man,whom is so honest he gets himself into trouble lol,poor guy,an is the most faithful guy i know

"happiness is just around the corner"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lillie....1 year old!!!

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