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Dad is jealous Rss

Hi,
Just want to vent - feeling a little sad.
Things have been pretty tense for a while now and we had a heart to heart last night as I feel that he doesn't care out our baby, and he feels that I don't care about him.
He said he feels jealous and angry that the baby has come between us, and so he takes it out on her by rejecting her (eg, when she tries to get away if he changes her nappy and she cries, which she also does to me 10 times a day, then he takes it personally and gets angry at her and says she doesn't like him, then hands her back to me and gets busy in the backyard doing all chores unrelated to baby). I feel like he just works against me sometimes, like if I just get bub to sleep, he decides to start plunging the drain outside her bedroom and then wonders why I get annoyed. I feel that he doesn't care because he never has to get her to sleep.
I do love him, but I'm just getting so frustrated that he's missing the point - he has been given such a gift in his daughter but he just resents her and I can't seem to make him see. I suggested doing some things just the two of us, but he doesn't feel comfy leaving our baby with anyone (even tho she's 10 months!). Don't know what else to do ...

Grrrrrr, I won't go on and on. Does anyone else have these issues?

Sherri, mum to Ella Bella Baby Bear ~ 21.01.05

I was wondering if there is some-thing special he can do with the baby - their special time? I know my hubby felt totally out of the picture until we started swimming lessons. I didn't think he'd be into it but when we turned up, decided he wanted to go in the water with our DD. It all kind of clicked for him but I could have just got lucky.

I totally feel for you though, it is totally frustrating as your baby needs every-thing done for them where your hubby doesn't. You make the natural choice (instinct) to put baby first - I think we all do.

I don't know if this makes this better or worse, but I think your hubby has to grow up (sorry to be so bitc*y). This situation is in his control as he can choose to participate or not. That old saying 'You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink' comes to mind. Although, I could have misunderstood your e-mail.

You make sure you take care of yourself and best of luck.

DD is 3yr 8 months - DS is 6 months

My bub is only 4 months old but my hubby has gone through a bit of what of what yours has too (in a way). In the begin it was great, he was the one who was able to settle him really easily but after a few weeks back at work DH had decided that Jeb didn't like him anymore coz he wouldn't settle for him the same way. He just became more and more distant, going out all the time etc. I'd had enough so one weekend I had it out with him explaining that Jeb was only a bub and what works one day may not work the next. that weekend I made him take care of him for a whole day (with me there in the back ground) I found the more I let him do things his way (which was really hard for me to do) the more DH wanted to do with bub. If something didn't work I would just suggest a couple things that might work and let him work it out for himself (that way he thinks he's clever for working it out "himself"LOL) I also typed out Jebs' routine point by detailed point so DH has always got a back up just incase he wants to "do it" himself. I also constantly ask for help now (never use to I can be very stubborn sometimes) I don't always expect him to do it but there is no harm in asking and it makes him feel wanted and useful. I really recommend that you have time with just the 2 of you too. Even if it's just for a couple hours for lunch at the local pub. Also let daddy have 1 on 1 time with your little girl. Let him get to know what makes her and him click together. If he's worried about be left alone with her just go for half an hour or so the first time and just go for longer and longer the next few times. I think he just needs to feel more confident with her, Sorry this is so long. Hope this helps a little. smile
Hi all I think all dads get jealous over the babys cause before the baby comes the fathers always get the attention and they never have to ask for it they just get the attention but after we have the babys we start looking after babys and kinda forget about the dads.

I know when our daughter was born her dad left everyting for me to do and plus look after Jaye and other things too, but now we make sure we do things together as a family and its great. maybe when he has your daughter just leave them both together and go and do anything around the house or go out for awhile.

Tracey,Jaye (girl)12/06/05, Sam (boy)10/07/09

yeah i think that my patner is the same way

we have a beautiful baby boy born on yhe 2 of may this tr

love to chat
sally-ann.harriott@bigpond.com

sally.SA.SETH.4MTH

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