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dad doesn't want to know Lock Rss

GOOD ON YOU AMBER!!!! smile

That is great news!! i hope everything works out!!!!!! All the signs are pointing in the right direction!! im real happy for you aye!!!!

I really hope everything works out for you both smile

You so have to keep me posted!!! you lucky thing!!!i

You have all of my wishes!!!

Lots of love to you my friend!!
It sounds so romantic Amber. Have been following your story and have my fingers and toes crossed for you too,

Ryan (2) & Jayden (18mths)

Thanks girls!

Well, there's only one way to find out if its meant to be! If it is, then yay, but if not, then at least I can finally get some closure! No word yet, but it's only been 1 day LOL

Have a good weeend smile Lots of love to the babies from the both of us xxxxxxx

Ambs, Mummy to Aidan (born March 04)

Hey Amber!!!

Any news yet???!!!!

I'm dying to know how you got on??!!

Also have you heard anything from bodie or his family???

must go emily is on the rampage today, she has been hyped up all day for some reason and is tearing apart anything she can find!
Nope nothing yet LOL
Bryan could be away on holiday, or working out of town .... or he wont contact me back. No worries if he doesn't. At least I'll know for sure!!

My lawyer got in touch yesterday ... he had to ring Bodie on Friday to see what the go was, and Bodie said that he would call back on Monday - which he didn't, so my lawyer had to ring him again and Bodie said that he would sign the papers (he still hadn't signed them). I have no idea why he's taken so long, but this is Bodie we're talking about. My lawyer is expecting the papers in the mail any day. Has told the judge to adjourn for another fortnight. I'll let you know the next step.

It's Bodie's birthday today .... thought of him all day - was tempted to contact him, but in the end, left it unmarked, seeing as Aidan doesn't have a clue about birthdays and Xmas yet. Next year, I will make the effort for Aidan (who will be talking by then so can talk to his daddy himself LOL).

Love Ambs xxxxx

Ambs, Mummy to Aidan (born March 04)

Hi Amanda and Amber

My name's Tracy and ive been reading your posts with interest over the last month, when I split up with my partner. Our daughter is nearly 7 months old.

I'm hoping you'll be able to help me with a couple of questions about dna tests. As my ex has now decided that he doesnt think Emma is his and wants proof. I have no problem with him doing the test as I have nothing to hide (of course).

Just not sure about how to actually get it done. I told him to arrange it as he is the one that wants it done, and he said he will, but that he won't pay maintenance until the test is done. I'm sure he'll get it done eventually just not in any reasonable amount of time.

So I thought I'd try to find out whats involved and get the ball rolling for him.

Any help you can give would be heaps appreciated.

Thanks

Tracy, SA, DD 15/3/04 & TTC #2

Hi Treylace,

How are you??

Well, my ex wanted the DNA tests originally, and I, like you told him to organise it etc. Then when Aidan was born, he couldn't be bothered.
In the end I went and saw a communtiy lawyer (which is free of charge) to get some advice on what step to take next, as Bodie refused to sign the birth certificate as well as not bothering with the tests. He gave me no option but to go to a lawyer. Because I'm a solo mum, and I'm not working, I qualified for legal aid, so I only have to pay a $50 admin fee. My lawyer sorted the rest out for me, and even though it took every amount of gusto we had, plus a baliff to visit Bodie at work and serve him with papers, we got him to co-operate with us and get the tests done, which, ultimately proved that Bodie was Aidan's father.
Because I had legal aid, that covered my half of the costs of the DNA test fee. Bodie, because he is working full time etc had to pay his share of the fee himself.
The test costs approximately $1100 (NZ). Go and get some free advice first, as it will give you a better idea of what to do next. If you want to contact me at anytime, and have a chat about it, feel free to contact me at [email protected]
I'll do my best to help and support you through it, if you'd like a shoulder to lean on smile

I'm so sorry that you too, are in this situation. But, all it takes is one smile, and a (gooby) kiss from our babies and we know, that it's all been worth it.

smile Take care girly, hope to hear from you soon.


Ambs xxxxx

Ambs, Mummy to Aidan (born March 04)

Hey Ambs

Thanks heaps for the quick reply. I'm a bit up and down like a yo-yo at the moment, but ok most of the time.

I'm surprised at the price $1100 (NZ) didnt realise it would cost that much, might make Mike (the dad) think twice about doing it. Deep down he knows he is Emmas dad, she was a spitting image of him when she was born, but sometimes he just decides to be stupid about it all.

It was his idea to get the test done, and ive always said to him "go right ahead", so I figure he can organise it. Also he changes his mind from one minute to the next, today was obviously a bad day and I'm the one he takes it out on.

After I put this post up I got a phone call from him apologising for his behaviour today and saying he will pay maintenance but still wants to get the test done lol

This response is long enough now, although there is so much more I could say, I'll probably email you one day and fill you in on the whole story. I have friends and family to talk to, and they have all been fantastic, but none are or have been in this situation so although they try they just dont quite understand.

Again thanks heaps for the quick reply and I'm sure you wil be hearing more of me. smile

Tracy, SA, DD 15/3/04 & TTC #2

Hi Treylace!!

Im so sorry to hear what you are going through as well! i've had enough of guys they are useless!! (well the ones we know anyway!!)

I'm really sorry i have no advice on what to, i was lucky enough that emilys dad didnt doubt he was the father and so signed the birth certificate, however it all went downhill from there!! Listen to Amber she is very wise and offers great advice!! I would tell emmas dad to pay the cost if he wants the test!

I hope things work out for you and your little girl! How old is emma?? Look after yourselves and remember if you ever want to chat your always welcome, would love to hear how you are going on!!!

Love Amanda
Hi again, thanks for your replies girls, its nice to know that I can come here and chat with others that know how I'm feeling.

I have another question lol (I'm sure I'll have many to come as well) Mike signed the birth certificate without any problems (things between us were really good then), so does that mean anything legally in terms of him being the father, or do you think we'd still have to have the dna tests.

I agree with you Amanda, all guys are useless, well thats what I think of them at the moment!! I've already told him he can pay for the test, I dont think he realises how much its going to be.

Emma is almost 7 months old, her birthday is 15 March this year. If I remember correctly Ambers son was born on the 10th so thats pretty close together.

Hope things are going well for the both of you. Cant wait to hear a bit more about you all. I'm fairly new to this site as well.

Gotta run for now, will talk again soon.

Love Tracy

Tracy, SA, DD 15/3/04 & TTC #2

Hi!!

Well i would think that if Mike signed the birth certificate then he believed and confirmed that he was the father, if he doubted it im sure he wouldn't sign it! Birth certificates are as legal as you can get and its always going to be written there that he is. It just seems if he signed the birth certificate he's wasting his time and money wanting a dna test?? i suppose you can still get it done, its quite a price though!

Maybe you should ask legal aid and see what they say. God he really is playing mind games with you! and i would also think he should be paying child maintanence straight away since he is on the birth certificate? i would get some legal advice and that way your always one up on his sneaky tactics!

Ambs sweetie i just read your other post about bodie and his family and once again im so sorry!! i feel so terrible for you it brings tears to my eyes when i think of how people can push family aside like that, just remember they will be the ones who in the end will really regret what they have done, im sure they will be always thinking about you and aidan and what he will be like. bodie obviously got to them. Stay strong your so much better than that they dont deserve to know you and aidan if they can do things like that. so many people care about the two of you just remember that!!

Big hugs to you all!
Love Amanda

By the way emilys dad is once again playing games and saying he'll come and then not turning up, he said he will come this weekend and i told him not to come until he is serious about being a father because im sick of his games, will be interesting to see what he does! He said he is moving overseas next year too, isnt it nice to know where his priorities lie, obviously not with his daughter sad

I'll have to look into the Birth Cert. thing. He is paying maintenance thank goodness, but just the other day was when he said "i dont think she's mine" and I'm not paying any maintenance until I have a dna test done. Mind you he rang me back later and apologised and said he would continue to pay the maintenace but still wants to get the test done (doesnt make sense to me, either he thinks he is the father or he thinks he isnt, and if he thinks he isnt why pay me the money). Its because deep down he knows he is the father.

It also worries me a bit about Emma forgetting him. He was around for the first 6 months and played quite an active role with her we've seen him a few times in the last month, and wont be seeing him for a few weeks now while he tries to sort himself out (hopefully he gets somewhere). I'm just worried that the longer he is away the more chance she will forget about him which is sad. I used to get quite upset over it (I'm sure you've all been through that) but realise there is not much I can do about it now.

Hope you are all well, and things start looking up for all of us soon. Imagine if one day everything fell into place for us, eg fathers accepting they are fathers, having visits, paying maintenance...hmm gee I think I'm dreaming lol.

Take care all
xx

P.S Good luck with Bryan, Amber, hopefully you get some good news out of all of what you have been through.

Tracy, SA, DD 15/3/04 & TTC #2

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