Should I go for child support?

Broke up with my DS father two months ago and trying to decide if i should claim child support or not. I am eligible for an exemption if i want because it was a DV situation. I do think he should be held responsible for his son but it may make situation worse. Just trying to weigh up pros and cons
Pros: Easier finicially so DS wont miss out on the swimming lessons, karate and private school I want for him
Ex might learn some responsibility

Cons: Ex might fight me in court harder if there is money involved(he seems to be losing interest and enjoying freedom atm)
Might make him more violent
He is VERY unreliable when it comes to paying bills.

Im not a single mum so i wont say that i know how your feeling but i do have a few friends that have been in your situation.

I have one friend (of 10 yrs) who had her boy 5 years ago now and didnt go for child support and now that the dad feels like it he just came back into her boys life without ever helping raise him financially or physically.
The sad thing is he can because she never asked for his money and now that dad has had his fun and is ready to be involved he can be.

You Ex needs to realise that its both or your responsibility and babies cost alot of money!! You deserve his help.
Best of luck to you xxxxx smile

only you can answer that question...

Hi, like the last post said only you can make that decision. However If I was to do my time over again I would right from the start.
I have been single parent for a year now, my ex was very manipulative and verbally abusive towards me.
I did what I believed at the time was the right thing by keeping peace and allowing him to come and go as he pleased, seeing my DS when it suited him. Only paying when he could afford et, and trying to work out the splitting of assests between us (giving him more time to take over mortgage etc.)
It got to the point he just stopped paying but promised me he would make it up.(even though he was going to concerts etc.) After 5 months I went to CSA and asked for them to help collect the payments only to be advised they can only go back 3 months.
My ex is well over 7 months in arreas and pays whatever he feels like and CSA can't do anything, however come tax time the money will come my way.
His interest in our DS's became more apparent when I went to a lawyer, however I know once our financal settlement finishes he will drop of again, and go back to living his own life like before.
I have been advised that as long as you care for your children and dont have any drug problems etc. The courts wont take the kids from their mum, and they do not favour shared care as much any more as it doesn't neccessary work better on the kids.
The money might make him want to fight harder for you DS at the start but give it some time and most (not all) will drop of as they soon realize they quite enjoy having their life and get to be fun DS on weekend.
Good luck

Ohh and by the way my lawyer has set certain rules etc in place to protect me and my Ds's eg. Ex is not allowed to enter my house at all, all meeting times are at public places etc.

Ok, thank you. Think Im going to claim child support. My ex is on almost $70000 a year but struggles to pay rent and basic stuff (has had gambling problems in the past). He has NEVER helped me buying stuff for our DS (we were in a relationship when I fell and he was asking me to have a baby with him). I didnt take anything from our place apart from DS stuff and my clothes so he has everything cos it was more important to me to get out of there. He also refused to give me DS's blankets and towels when I asked for them. Seeing Legal Aid in a few days anyway about custody. My exs mum is fighting for her 'rights' to her grandson as well. Ive moved 15 hrs away (by car) since we broke up to be closer to my family for support.

YES! You should go for child support. I have been a single parent up until about 6 months ago and it's hard enough work without having to worry about if you have enough money to support yourself and your child(ren)!

Hi My son is 4.5mnths old now and his father left when I found out I was pregnant. I have received an exemption from child support as like you, I have a DVO in place against him. He was a very dominating, manipulative and abusive person and tried to kill my baby while I was pregnant. I was considering going for child support as I believed he should be responsible for his actions. However, if he paid child support that would give him visitation rights to my son if he decided to. I chose to get an exemption and have not put him on the birth certificate either. It has been a little bit of a struggle coming to money but I have already started a bank account for my son (he has more savings than me!! lol) and with scraping through and hard saving my son won't miss out smile However you do need to make the decision that you think is right for yourself and your child.

I wish you all the best and I hope everything works out. Things can only get better from here on.

Jade

It is amazing how much money you can save when your not looking after another adult tongue For the first time in quite a few years, i have good savings. I also have 2 months worth of formula, nappies, wipes, baby food in reserve if I need it. Have an appointment with legal aid on Friday so will see what they say about me getting full custody.

Im sorry to sound harsh but you are the one who chose to have a baby with this man so you need to harden up and do whats right for your child. If this means staying right away from your ex then do so. But you cant have it both ways. You cant expect him to give you money, and then refuse to let him see the child. You need to go out and work to get money so your child can do things - its your responsibility so get your bum into gear and do it! My mum did just that with 2 young children and we are all the better for it! You never know how strong you are until there is no other option but to be so! Dont be one of those mothers who sits on her arse at home while complaining she has no money! Set a good example for your child.

Im sorry to sound harsh but you are the one who chose to have a baby with this man so you need to harden up and do whats right for your child. If this means staying right away from your ex then do so. But you cant have it both ways. You cant expect him to give you money, and then refuse to let him see the child. You need to go out and work to get money so your child can do things - its your responsibility so get your bum into gear and do it! My mum did just that with 2 young children and we are all the better for it! You never know how strong you are until there is no other option but to be so! Dont be one of those mothers who sits on her arse at home while complaining she has no money! Set a good example for your child.

I have NEVER stopped my DS from seeing his dad but I am doing it in a safe environment. My ex was violent towards both me and my child. But unfortunately if you keep your child away from its father completely, the court frowns upon you even if there was violence involved. I did not CHOSE to have a baby with this man, I fell pregnant while I was on the pill but I do not believe in abortion. My ex wanted a child right away but I wanted to wait until the relationship was more stable. Frankly, I would prefer that my ex p*ss off and I support me and my DS completely. I am currently living with my parents 1 1/2 hrs from anywhere so I can save money and provide a good future for both me and DS. So atm I AM working but its for my family. I also have a trade and am just about to start studying. So dont judge when you dont know anything about the situation. My ex took everything but our clothes when I left so i have to start completely again.