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hubby wants me to abort Lock Rss

well i am 7 weeks pregnant with my 4th child & hubby has told me that he wants be to abort this pregnancy. he says that he just doesn't want another child. we have 3 kids togther already 2 boys aged 6 & 4 then a daughter who is almost 3. we have been togther for 13 years & own our home & run a business, so we are financially doing well & can afford to have this baby cause we are earning more money now than we ever have. we love each other very much & each of us don't want anything bad to happen to our relationship, but he doesn't want this baby & i do, i can't bring myself to having it terminated. it was unplanned but i still want to keep this bub.
he asked me last night "if i could not have this baby for his sake"
so i have had a sleepless night of thinking through things, actually we have known about this pregnancy for 3 weeks now & we have both had lots & lots of sleepless nights. he says his feelings havent changed at all & he just doesn't want it, but my feelings havent changed either, its hard cause there seems to be no real compromise here.
just unsure as to what my future will bring cause i have decided to keep this baby anyway, i couldn't get rid of any of my children i already have so why would i get rid of this child
thanks for reading, just really wanting to get this off my chest & out in the open, i have told a few friends & family & they all know that he doesn't want it but they all think that he will come around in time, but i am not so sure

[url=http://lilypie.com][img]http://b1.lilypie.com

That's a really tough decision to make. I am so sorry for the worry and confusion you are going through.

My opinion is that if you terminate, you are also putting your relationship in jeapardy as you sound like you wouldn't be able to live with having done this. Especially when you know how wonderful it can all be.

Is your husband saying that he will leave you if you keep this baby? The longer you leave it too, the harder it would be if you decide to terminate.

What are his main concerns? Money? Even less time to spend together? There are so many things that he could be worried about and I think you need to pinpoint exactly what those things are and come up with some solutions and comprimises. Would you need a bigger car? Do the kids already go to a private school and can you afford to send this one as well?

I am sorry I can't help you out any more. I wish you luck with whatever you decide. It's your body and you have to be comfortable with whichever decision you make.
Good Luck.

well i am 7 weeks pregnant with my 4th child & hubby has told me that he wants be to abort this pregnancy. he says that he just doesn't want another child. we have 3 kids togther already 2 boys aged 6 & 4 then a daughter who is almost 3. we have been togther for 13 years & own our home & run a business, so we are financially doing well & can afford to have this baby cause we are earning more money now than we ever have. we love each other very much & each of us don't want anything bad to happen to our relationship, but he doesn't want this baby & i do, i can't bring myself to having it terminated. it was unplanned but i still want to keep this bub.
he asked me last night "if i could not have this baby for his sake"
so i have had a sleepless night of thinking through things, actually we have known about this pregnancy for 3 weeks now & we have both had lots & lots of sleepless nights. he says his feelings havent changed at all & he just doesn't want it, but my feelings havent changed either, its hard cause there seems to be no real compromise here.
just unsure as to what my future will bring cause i have decided to keep this baby anyway, i couldn't get rid of any of my children i already have so why would i get rid of this child
thanks for reading, just really wanting to get this off my chest & out in the open, i have told a few friends & family & they all know that he doesn't want it but they all think that he will come around in time, but i am not so sure


GBH what a horrible situation to be in. I don't have much advice to offer but maybe you could sit and have a talk to your DH and each of you come up with a list of reasons for not having another baby and a list of reasons another baby would be a good idea and then swap them and talk about. Im not sure what else to say... i hope everything works out the way you want it too xx

**BIG HUGS** I can't imagine the position you are in right now.

The only advice I could give it to go with your instincts. I personally could never abort, but I am pro-choice.
If you decide to do what your husband wants, then that is something you have to live with for the rest of your life. If you decide to go against your husbands wishes, you have to be prepared for his emotions too, and how it will haffect your relationship. Whichever you choose, you will still have issues over this.
As I said i could never do it. If you feel strongly about wanting to keep this baby, you need to be upfront with him ASAP, and work things out from there. It's really important for him to know how this will affect you.

I wish you the best of luck, and really hope your DH comes around.
I went through a simaliar situation recently with my man finding out we were going to have number 3 which is going to give us 3 under 3, not what we both want but i still wanted the baby how ever hard its going to be but he didnt, we talked about it alot but he said it was my choice at the end of the day as it was my body, he has come round now, im about 13 weeks, good luck
Hi,
I don't think I am going to be of any help, but how can anyone want to abort someone of their own flesh and blood, no matter how small? I'm sorry but having read your situation has gotten me sooooo mad, and I feel sorry for you and the bub. My very first thought when I read the topic was abort him.
It's not like talking about you wanting a fourth and he doesn't, this little baby is already in there. I don't know circumstances that go with this babies conception, but if he felt so strongly about not have a 4th, then he should have never had sex with you in the first place or gone and had the snip.
My way of thinking is, he is asking you to kill one of your children and by the sounds of it putting a guilt trip on you to boot.
My opinion- stick to your decision and have the baby. If he doesn't come round then that his problem not yours. Because if you do go and have an abortion, do you honestly think that you are going to never feel guilty and resent him because he was the one that pushed you into it.
Sorry if this has upset you in anyway, but this is after all a very serious thing he is asking you to do,
Belinda

yep we have done nothing but talk about it
he asked me today what my descion was & i told him that i am going to keep the baby & it didn't go down well at all, lots of sh*t went down & anyway he really thought that i would abort for him, when i said i just couldn't do it, his response was if you had said that you would abort i would have agreed to let you have the baby cause it means so much to you & you would do that for me
WTF!!!!!!
anyway he said that he might leave but deep down i don't think he will, also he said that he doesn't want anything to do with the pregnancy & he wont be at the birth
i agree that this baby is already here
he is so upset which makes me feel worse because i made him feel that way & i am sorry that i didn't make the decision that he wanted me too but i know that i would regret it & resent him for it & our relationship would suffer, this way our relationship will still suffer but i know that it was my decision & i will live with that
i still love him very much & that wont change

[url=http://lilypie.com][img]http://b1.lilypie.com

Just know if push does come to shove and he does leave, then even though you love him very much, he wasn't worth it in the end. Sounds like you've got the support of your family and friends and there are services out there that will help you get on your own two feet.
Also us huggies ladies are more then willing to let you vent anytime. Hey if hubby isn't willing to share in the pregnancy, his lose, but I know the huggies girls will share in all your ups and downs if you let us smile If you are a facebooker and want another friend then my e-mail is [email protected] (easiest way to find me). Or even if you'd just like someone to talk to feel free to e-mail me or private message in huggies.
Just know you are not alone,
Belinda

anyway he really thought that i would abort for him, when i said i just couldn't do it, his response was if you had said that you would abort i would have agreed to let you have the baby cause it means so much to you & you would do that for me
WTF!!!!!!


i agree with you WTF?? What *** is he dribbling? first of all he is obviously lying, or if he is not what kind of sick mind game was he trying to play with you using his own unborn child?? Sorry to get so worked up but thats got my goat!! i agree with KellieAndShaunMummy that even if he does leave and you love him he is not worth it, and i know if it was me in your situation i would be questioning if he is even the same man i fell inlove with!

i just want to give you a hug!! I am so sorry this is happening to you! i hope he comes to his senses soon and it all works out for the best.

yep we have done nothing but talk about it
he asked me today what my descion was & i told him that i am going to keep the baby & it didn't go down well at all, lots of sh*t went down & anyway he really thought that i would abort for him, when i said i just couldn't do it, his response was if you had said that you would abort i would have agreed to let you have the baby cause it means so much to you & you would do that for me
WTF!!!!!!
anyway he said that he might leave but deep down i don't think he will, also he said that he doesn't want anything to do with the pregnancy & he wont be at the birth
i agree that this baby is already here
he is so upset which makes me feel worse because i made him feel that way & i am sorry that i didn't make the decision that he wanted me too but i know that i would regret it & resent him for it & our relationship would suffer, this way our relationship will still suffer but i know that it was my decision & i will live with that
i still love him very much & that wont change

hi there, i really feel for you on this, i was in that position a few years ago now and i did terminate it, worse decision i made and i had alot of resentment towards him (my ex), needless to say i am no longer with him. It sound like he is playing mind games with you and thats not fair on you. I think even though ever man can have thier say, at the end of the day the end decision is all up to the woman. I think you made a good choice and i wish you and your hubby all the best and i really hope he comes around. xxx
Are you having the testing done at the end of your first trimester? If so, perhaps he could go, things might change?

I know you have talked, but have you considered counselling? Is he aware of the risks of an abortion on the female? both medically and emotionally? Sometimes it is better to hear it from a professional?

Has he taken steps to ensure this is the last baby? vasectomy?

good luck...hugs to you!
thanks girls
i don't mind at all any strong opinions you have, its good to hear everyones perspective on the situation


angelbaby11 - that is my fear if i went ahead & had a termination i just wouldn't feel the same way about him & the relationship would suffer because of it


i will be having an ultrasound for 12 weeks & i will ask him if he wants to come but leave the decision up to him, he only came to the 20 week scan with my other 3 kids tho

as for a vasectomy he wont have it done, he really has a thing about it, but wants me to get my tubes tied, i think that i will worry about that later tho

he seems ok at the moment, he sent me a txt yesterday that said "still LOVE YOU", so that was special but when he gets home he doesn't really say to much to me, so i'm just giving him time & space & hoping that he will come around eventually

[url=http://lilypie.com][img]http://b1.lilypie.com

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