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  5. Husband left me at 27 weeks pregnant for his mother

Husband left me at 27 weeks pregnant for his mother Lock Rss

Hi, I'm now almost 30 weeks pregnant and my husband kicked me out of the house a few weeks ago and choose his Mother over his wife and baby. I live with my husband and his mother. My husband is a FIFO worker therefore I am left to care for his mother. In the country they originally come my MIL led quite a privileged lifestyle and had nanny's raise her children and people cook and clean for her so she is very lazy and doesn't believe she has to do anything for herself. As a result, since we have been married she considers me her carer. She is very capable but acts as though she is an invalid. Anyway I work full time, get home late and then I'm treated like dirt by her every night. She considers herself to be queen of the house and that's how my husband treats her. They are from the Middle East and she believes they I am beneath her because I am not the same religion and I should always do what her and my husband want. Basically I'm not allowed to have a say in my own home. She spits at me constantly and is the most cunning and most evil person I have ever met. However she makes herself such a sweet innocent and frail old lady when their are people around.

Anyway I am struggling big time. I have a high risk pregnancy and have been extremely ill and working long hours then having to deal with her when I get home and then cook and serve her all night then prepare all her meals and snacks for the next day has absolutely shattered me. If she appreciated me that would be a different story but all she does is make up lies about me and spit at me. Anyway I told my husband (throu text because I'm not allowed to speak about his mother) that I was breaking down and all I do every night that he is not home, I cry all night. Anyway he pretended that message didn't exist and because I'm scared of him screaming and yelling, I didn't say anything further.

A few weeks ago I hit rock bottom and while he was working away, I sent another text saying that I need a break from looking after his mum for just a few months when the baby is born because I will struggle plus I want to spend time alone with him and the baby for a few months. We live in a tiny house and there is never any privacy. Anyway his response was to either shut my mouth because he has told me that I can never speak about his mum........or pack up and leave now. So I did, I packed up my essentials and left. This was all done my text. When I told his mother, she was very happy.

He won't see me or talk to me and I'm breaking down. I truly cannot believe how a supposed loving husband would throw his wife and baby on the street over his mother. I don't sleep at night and I'm breaking down not knowing what to do sad

I never told him that I wouldn't continue looking after his mum, all I asked for is a few months break.
Good for you for leaving, now stay away, that sounds like a toxic environment I would get as far away from them as possible and stay there, sorry if this sounds harsh, I appreciate he is your husband and you love him but he won't change and you cannot live a life controlled like that.

Do you have family you can go to?
Run for the hills!!! Stay away from these abusive, toxic people and start a new life for you and your child. A few years down the track, you won't give a thought to these people. He's not loving, he's abusive, and I'm sure, not the type of environment you want your child to grow up in. It will be hard being a single mum, but so much better than being in a miserable situation for the rest of your life!
If you choose to stay away, there are other men out there who will love you and your little one like their own. I know someone whos partner left her before their baby was 3months old, she is now married to a wonderful man who treats the boy as his own.
Do you want your child to grow up thinking that is the way to treat woman or be treated? How will he treat the baby if it is a girl? How will your MIL treat the baby?

Sounds like the best thing for you is to be a single mother and raise the baby on your own away from this toxic environment. Break the cycle, don't let your child think this is how you are supposed to live.
I know from personal experience being a single mum is hard (I am raising 2 kids on my own), but remember that your life needs to change and the babys needs and well being needs to a high priory. I wish you all the best on this journey and while it will be tough having a baby is the most rewarding experience ever.

We are all here for advice and to support others. And there are some amazing ladies on here who offer the best advice. Good luck hun!
Totally agree with what has been said above. You are lucky that you got out now before anything worse has happened. Stay away. As others have said you will find someone that will love and appreciate you and your child like there own. For now look after yourself and your unborn baby and look to the future. It was a lucky escape.

Good luck. We are around to give you moral support when you need it.


Thank you very much ladies for the support and kind words smile

I'll be honest, I'm still in shock that it's actually happened and the fact that he doesn't want to know me or his baby all because I asked for a few months break from caring for his very capable mother. This has been the biggest struggle in my life so far. Luckily I have an AMAZING family to support me through this and I'm staying with my parents until the baby is a few months old and then will find my own place.

It funny because in my lifetime I have been luckily enough to be surrounded my beautiful people. Never did I think that I would be living with 2 horrible people and unfortunately in love with one of them. I take people on face value. It goes to show you that when you no longer serve a purpose in someone's life, you are thrown out like rubbish.

My OB advised me the other day that I have to reduce my stress levels and blood pressure because I'm putting stress on the baby - it has been very difficult to do so in this situation but as of today, I'm focussing on myself and this buddle of joy that I have tried for years and years to create and I'll finally be able to hold in 9 weeks.

Thank you once again ladies! I really appreciate it grin

Good luck! Glad you have a great family to lean on in the meantime and you can start looking forward to a future without people who only value you as a chattel.
Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly.
smile

I would also contact a lawyer. In some middle eastern countries a child by law belongs to the Father so if he were to take the child out of the country, you may have a fight on your hands getting them back.
Shakespeare. wrote:
I would also contact a lawyer. In some middle eastern countries a child by law belongs to the Father so if he were to take the child out of the country, you may have a fight on your hands getting them back.


^^^ ABSOLUTELY!!

I'm so sorry to hear things are so difficult for you right now, but please- stay strong, and STAY AWAY for your baby!

My (now ex) partner was from the middle east too, things are very different over there, as you'd know... My ex's father had him sent back overseas as a child, because he was 'too Australian'- within the extended family, several children were kidnapped and sent overseas, where Australian police couldn't find them.. so that is something to be mindful of... The men are also known for trying to get the kids, just to hurt the woman... (some of the things i've heard, are truly sickening)

My inlaw's were intolerable, and my ex also chose his mother & brother over his wife and child... This is a very recent break up for me (6 weeks)- so I'm still in a lot of pain, I miss him terribly, but i know that my baby will be better off with me and my family... I'm so glad you've got a supportive family and a place to stay.. My advice for now, would be not to have any contact with them, for at least a few weeks while you sort out your own emotions (so hard to do while pregnant and looking after a little one i know- but your baby needs you to protect him/her from that toxic environment).... It's hard to be alone sometimes, but it is so worth it....

Hang in there =)

It can seem really hard when you are kicked out at first. But things will get better, you'll find yourself. You are a strong and caring person and you'll be able to take care of yourself and your baby with or without having to also take care of your husband and his mother as well. I think you'll find life much easier without them.

Do something fun for yourself. Join a pregnancy yoga class or something.
you should be strong and never break down because that will somewhere break your kid when he/she will enter this world... so be calm and forget about such people... always remember sweetie he never deserved you, he was never worth you, and he could not afford to be with such a nice person so he backed out... you are nice and be nice to your own self and your kid who is about to come... smile
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