Dad don't want no more!

Just wondering if there are any partners out there how have objected to another child. We have one who is 8 months old, and my partner has said he isn't having any more. We are only 21 yrs, not too old. He has even said he will pay for an abortion if it were too happen. I love bubby and if there were too be two of them that would be ok. How have other mums handled this situation, any comments appreciated

Ask him why he doesn't want anymore children. Talk to him and ask him to be honest about it and tell you why he feels the way he does.

Hi my husband does not want any more children. When asked he said he does not have the patients for them. We have a 10 month old who I would love to give a little brother or sister to. I am 28 and my husband is 31. So If I wanted another one it my be too late by then. I can understand how you feel.

Hi everyone,

My husband and i chose to have only one, but when our first was about 3 yo i got clucky again and wanted another baby, it took me 12 months to convince him to agree to start trying and then it took us 4 yrs to have our precious baby. Don't worry, your partners may change their minds when your babies are a little older and they see things getting a little easier.

I had my second at 40 so you are all young enough to be able to wait a little bit to see if your hubbies change their minds about having another baby.

just enjoy your beautiful babies because before you know it the've grown up.

hi my name is narelle i am 22. my daughter was 4 months old at my 21st......i cant believe he dont want anymore there is no way either to meet half way on this arguement either i mean its either one of you or the other that gets what they want. i cant believe he dont want anymore i could not cope i can tell you that now. that was one rule on me and my fiance being together we wanted a family. my other boyfriend didnt so i hard to say goodbye i wanted kids i wanted to be a mother and i wanted more than two children. i dont know what to tell you on this one. you really need to talk to each other and why you both feel you need another baby and why you dont. you both need to be honest. maybe he feels a little jealous and left out... i dont know. i'd not be able to compromise that situation. i would never put a child through being the one and only as me and my fiance were both the only child.... never do that to a child!!!
we;ve been trying now for 12 months to conceive again and we're having a little trouble at the moment. i would never do that to a child (being the only one) if i could not have any more children with my partner i'd do anything in my power to have another. IVF, adoption... or anything else.
but thats just my opnion... hope i didn't upset you or anything.

Hi Mandy, It may be that because you are both young, he feels like he will be missing out on other things in life because of the children. Are there things he wants too do that the children would hold him back on EG. Travelling etc... I would hope that maybe in a few years time he will feel differantly. I can tell you I met heaps of guys when I was that age who always said they would never have children - but now quite a few years on they have them and are loving it. My partner and I only want the one child - I was the one who has pushed for this but as my baby grows older I am slowly coming around to maybe wanting another one. Was the first few months hard with Bubs and/or maybe you are having a few troubles with sleeping due to teething etc... I wouldn't give up hope and maybe introduce the suggestion again after baby has turned 1. Good luck.

Hi, I am pretty sure that your partner is probably feeling a bit left out at the moment. You guys are both young but regardless of your age when you bring a new baby into a relationship roles are changed. You no longer do the same things and don't have the same amount of time to socialise that you used to have. You have also become the 'mummy' now and your responsibilities have changed. Some men feel left out when a baby comes along and they are often like little children themselves because they are not getting the same amount of attention from you they are used to. Him saying that he doesn't want anymore is probably just a reaction because his life has turned upside down and he is upset about it.
I wouldn't worry about him saying he doesn't want anymore kids. You both have heaps of time to worry about more babies further down the track. I have just had my second - and last at 33yrs - so you have plenty of years Just conentrate on being together as a family, having one baby is hard enough work on its own! Some time together as a couple without the babe would be a good idea too if you don't already do this. Sometimes we have to re-establish our own relationships.
God, I sound like a counsellor but I am not,
I hope I haven't offended you or anyone by saying this but I really think you will be ok. Think positive
Good Luck

Hi girls, thanks heaps for all the comments. I quized my partner on why he doesn't want any more children and i let him know that i was upset by his comment. He told me that he didn't want any more children at the moment, but he could have more but just not now.

Hi Mandy thats great news I hope my husband changes his mind as I would like to start trying again at the end of the year. Peter is just lovely and I always said one would be enough but since having him I have enjoyed motherhood ( all but the sleep deprevation) and would like to have another baby. Wait until your baby is out of nappies first that way its a bit cheeper and easier for you both. Letitia

I hope mandy that your partner changes his mind!

We have a little boy that is 7 months old and my husband was totally against the idea of having another one!

But he has changed his mind now and we will be trying for another baby in a few months.

I hope things work out for you

i agree with jacmad. i thought i only wanted 1 child and so did my husband, it never even came into my mind to try for a second until my husband decided he wanted another child. i fell quickly and i have nearly 4 years difference between my 2. i'd give your partner a bit more time you are both still young and have plenty of time. i told myself when i was your age that if i wasn't going to have kids after i was 30, now i have 2, am happy and i'm only 28.

Trudi

Do u find the age gap between your 2 good I have 2 kids of simaliar age & everyone told me I was leaving it to long for my second but I had only 1 in nappies,pram,bottles,cot etc & I LOVE the gap

See Ya

Bec