Huggies Forum

Huggies® Ultimate
Nappies

Learn More
  1. home
  2. Baby Forum
  3. Baby
  4. Baby & Dad
  5. Problems with ex getting worse

Problems with ex getting worse Lock Rss

Does anyone know what the laws are relating to father access?? My ex visits twice a week & now wants to go to mediation & if he doesn't get what he wants ...to court. My son is 8.5 months old. I've spoken to a couple of lawyers & they all give me different answers...I feel really worried & anxious..as i wrote in a previous post he also wants to take himn to England to see his family. I wont let him at this young age. Does anyone know any good family lawyers in Sydney or any advice...

Thanks
Hi i am so sorry you have to deal with this. My step dad took my brother to the UK to visit family but as far as i know he had to have written consent as my brother was classed as a child from my mum. I wouldnt let my ex take my baby either dont worry!!! I suppose the good thing is he wouldnt be able to take him when hes in school as it interfers with his education. I wouldnt let him take him without me as you dont know what his full intentions are like is he going to bring him back. I know that sounds horrible but ive heard so many stories.

Does he want more access to your baby? If i were you i'd try to dig up a bit of dirt if you are really worried about him spending time with him. Good luck
Yes he says he wants a different kind of access to my son...i really give him all the access he wants but i think he is just trying to make everything difficult. What kind of dirt...? Like he's not a fit father...he's not really able to look after my son, so I could easily argue that one

hi there me and my ex split after 2 years and we had a agreement then he wanted it on paper.

so we went to the family courts and did mediation and if we didnt come to a agreement it would go to court i didnt wanna drag it out so we came to a agrement.

so over a period of 6months time gradually got bigger... i tryed stoping from seeing him but as long as he is not on drugs or violent they pretty much r entiteled to half custody these days... so now my son is 5 and he has him every 2nd weekend and thursday for a few hours and when he starts school he has him in july for 1 week and december for 1 week.. my ds hates going to his dad and crys about being there but i think its cause he is a bit more strict then me.
but DO NOT let him take bubs overseas.


my current partners brothers ex took of just after bubs was born and he has not seen his baby girl and she is currently in nz and has a nz citizenship as he was not on the birth cirtificate she can do that even though she new who the dad was. and is now going to court to try and bring her back here cause he wants his right to see his daughter.
well hope this helps but see ya family lawyer always b 1 step ahead

hi,

At what age did your son go for sleep overs at your ex's? 5 seems so young! It makes me furious that the courts give the guy half custody especially at this age...has the world forgotten that a child primarily needs their mother. It's rubbish the whole half custody thing. Did you and your ex agree on the week in July & december & every 2nd weekend? I thought at that age the child gets a say in if they want to go to the others parents to stay ( a friend of mine had this situation & her kids got to say what they wanted). My ex was just over visiting...being friendly & 'normal' tonight!! Behind my back wanting to take me to court. I don't trust him at all.. I'm not exactly sure what he is after besides the England thing but I get fearful that he wants dual custody or weekends.ARRRRRRRRhHHH
Hi there,

If i were you i would get something on paper through the family courts. With my job, I see this sort of stuff happening all the time. At first it's all going well with verbal agreements regarding access and then all of a sudden one of the parties wants more...

I am a police officer and pretty much we have no power to remove children from there biological parents unless they are in imminent danger or there is a court order. So, if your ex decides to take off with him without telling you we have no authority to go and get him back unless there is a court order saying he must reside with you. This is because family law comes under federal legislation and not state and as police we only have the power to act on state legislation. Not sure if the law is different in NSW....

Emma SA - Briar 15/03/07

I'm also having problems with my ex always wanting to take ds and he's only 11 weeks old. Babies need there mum most in the first couple of years and then down the track dads can step in and take a more involved role. Stick to your guns if it doesn't feel right letting your child out of your sight then don't allow it. I've sought legal advice from legal aid and we to are going to mediation. Try legal aid first even if its just for phone advice for piece of mind. you need to know where you stand.
question for mother2be.
If you go to mediation do you automatically get a court order on what you've both agreed to? or do you have to go to court for it to be legal (in case dad doesn't bring bub back. Just wondering what the point of mediation is if what u agree on isn't adhered to anyway.
Hi There,

I believe that you have every right to keep the child with you in Australia at such a young age. He can take you to court to plead his case but I'd doubt he'd win at 8.5 months old. But who knows really. If he does end up going then an agreement would be drawn up with the exact details and you can also make it so that money is put down (a massive sum too) to ensure the child comes back. Australia and England actually work with eachother so if your son doesn't come back you would definatley get him back (I have a bit of knowledge on this, my brother in laws son was taken, and was returned again by the courts in England)

I don't know your situation or what the fathers like, but... If the father of your child isn't a risk to the child I do believe he has every right to start taking him on weekends etc, if your not breastfeeding. I'm sorry if I have offended you, just personal view. As this is his father and he deserves to spend time with him. If you go to court he will most definately win atleast this. Courts do go 50/50 these days as it is now proven having both parents is of utmost importance if they are both good parents. My DH's daughters live with us 50/50 - and that was from when the youngest was 1.5 years old. Admmitedly thats what the mother of the girls wanted but we would have gotten it anyway.

Good luck
I have questions to ask - firstly, I don't have the full details of why you have separated, my response applies if there was no physical/mental violence or neglect from the father of your child.
It appears that your ex is in love with his child and wants to play a part in his life in a consistent way. How fortunate for your child to have that from his father in spite of your relationship not working. Your ex is showing extreme maturity in wanting to mediate, especially if that is the only way you both can talk without arguing. If you are not willing to mediate, then of course his next step would be court - he is a desperate father who's needs are not being acknowledged in his role as a parent. I understand you feel worried and anxious - imagine how he feels every day he wakes up without seeing his baby's gorgeous smile or how he feels after working a hard day and not getting to spend time winding down with his gorgeous baby.
I understand your ex wanting to show off his baby to his relatives, but this is probably not in the best interests of bubs, and I'm sure this is able to be communicated to your ex if his needs are acknowledged in consideration with yours and bub's. You seem rushing to seek a lawyer, I would urge you to seek mediation as your husband suggests and give him gthe recognition he deserves in suggesting this. I hope you can find some peace in your life by accepting the father of your bub - he will never be denied this title. Good luck
I have 2 issues like this to deal with. i have 2 boys and they have differnt dads both relationships fell apart. ive been going through mediation with one and the other now wants to start.

I have found out though unless there extreme cicumstances such as violence or drug abuse the father has just as much right with the child as the mother and its in all parties best interest to come to some arrangement, otherwise when it goes to court they will grant it and it will likely be not what you want. Not to mention a lot of stress and money going to court. Another thing is unless there are court orders saying when he can and cant see him he can take him anytime he likes wherever he likes and theres not a lot you can do about it. All the cops will do is check the kid is ok and thats all. So he can take him to england if he wants to anyway. He can walk up to you at the shops and take him off you if he wants to. You cannot kidnap your own child, unless theres a court order saying he cant have him he can take him so its best that you can get the orders made up.

I have come to realise that i really have no right to keep them from there father, they will resent it later. your issue with his father is yours and not the babies. As a mother you want the best for your child, for them to be happy, healthy and secure. To ensure this they need a relationship with both parents. You dont wont them to feel unloved or unwanted from the other parent, or an empty space always wondereing as they grow up.
hi I cant help much on this subject but i do know you cant get a baby's passport without the signature of both parents. (and if he was to forge your signature he would be guilty of a crime.)
I hope that things work out for you and you are able to work something out with your bubs father
Sign in to follow this topic