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..breast is best?? Lock Rss

My dear friend has recetly had a baby.She has indure the pain of mastitis and her milk flow has slowed down alot,i mean everytime i spoken to her she has had a hungry, screaming baby in the background, but would not give into her stubboness until now. The clinic nurses told her to persist no matter what, i think that is so so wrong. I am so glad her husband took home a can of formular and the baby is now happy and getting milk! She ended up having a break down as she felt she was failing by putting baby in the bottle....and it made me think that todays the pressure on breastfeeding may be too much? I think a babies happiness and a full belly is far more important than anyone elses so glad my darling friend and her baby are happy and settled now and i am so proud of her for trying but more proud of her for giving in and doing what was right for her baby.
Hmm you will find everyone here has different , and valid, views on breastfeeding/bottlefeeding...but everyone has the exact same view on letting a baby starve, that is that they shouldnt be starving!!
Your friend hasnt failed by putting baby on a bottle, and she will soon realise that when she sees how much more content baby is now.
Although they do say breast is best, noone recommends you let a baby starve if you cant breastfeed. Dont let anyone get her down about formula feeding.
When someone is 30 years old can you tell how they were fed when they were a newborn? No. You cant. So dont worry too much about it. She can try again with the next one smile
Yes I do agree breast is best ... but I also think that a happy mum and bub is MORE important and I hope your friend is doing ok

I have a BFing friend who criticised a mutual friend recently for 'giving up too easily with BFing' which I thought was just cruel ... this is the 'breast is best club' that I find hard to take (which is thankfully only a minority) ...
Poor dear! Glad bub is settled. I tried to breast feed my first, and OMG, it was horrible! I hardly had any milk, and when any midwife would come near me they would just start yanking my boobs around! I persevered for 6 weeks and would sit there in tears trying to feed my baby. In the end we went with the formula, and what do you know, happiest bub in the street!. I fully agree with the benefits of breast milk, but am not at all ashamed that I couldnt do it. ( Turned out my girl was also lactose intolarent, wich was making it even harder). COme secong time around, I was to have a cesear, and I was more scared of trying to brestfeed again, then the actual op!!! My second bub never got anywhere near my boobs, and she is 2 1/2 now, and absolutly nothing wrong with her. I think as long as the baby is being feed, you are doing your job, I dont think it matters where it comes from. But like the above post said, she can always try again next time!


I too was like your friend and ended up bottle feeding both my kids. I also felt like a failure and have my days when I still do. DD wouldnt attach properly at all, even lactation consultants and midwives couldnt get her on the stubborn thing, and DS had reflux so my options were medication or formula. Let her know she hasnt failed at all and my kids are proof that they are just as healthy being bottle fed as they are breast fed. Whats most important is a happy baby and a happy mummy. I didnt speak to a friend for 6months as she told me you dont bond with bubs unless you breastfeed, her tune has now changed as with her second she has had to bottle feed after complications with an operation and she actually thinks she has bonded better with second bubs as she isnt as tired and emotional.
She did what is right and you need to let her know that.

Hi I am so glad that your friend's bub is happy now but I do understand her feelings...With my last bub I couldn't get him to feed from the breast (Breast Refusal I think they call it) and went out and brought a pump expressed and bottle fed him for almost 8 weeks. It broke my heart that he wouldn't feed as I had no issues with my other kids.

After that my milk supply dried up and I was so exhausted as it took so much out of me that I had to put him on formula. I struggled with this for a while and I still wonder if it has affected my bond with him but he is happy healthy and thriving. Please tell your friend that she has done the best she can and she should be proud that she tried. I think that you know in your heart what is the right thing for you and sometimes even though you start out with a specific plan life and your baby can for that matter can change it.
you know if you can breastfeed then yeah ...breast is best ..when all is going well it is perfect ..

but if there are problems along the way (like your friend has ) then it is not best ..feeding your baby is best !!

I had a really lovely time feeding Luke ...this time I really dont like it ..she is feeding well and I have more milk then I know what to do with and I dont have cracked nippels any more ...but I just dont enjoy it ...but the fact that it is the best thing for Grace is the only thing keeping me going be perfectly honest here ...I am waitingf for something to go wrong so I can throw in the towel the moment all is going well so I cant do it ! !...but I would love to put her on a bottle and be happy and calm while feeding her at midnight !! (sorry ....went a little off topic there for a second ! !Lol lol lol )
thanks for all of your are a nice bunch of girls in here...i will be coming back for sure...and i do have been telling her she most definetly hasn't failed in anyway..but she has friends and nurses telling her otherwise..cheers smile
I hate all the pressure... best is not always best if the baby is not benefiting from it!

I BF my dd til she was 18 months old, but my experience in hospital when she was born was horrible! Nurses refused to let me use formula when my nipples were cracked and bleeding, and told me off for trying to get her to use a dummy citing 'nipple confusion'.

I am furious that they made it so much harder than me. I think that in that first 3-4 days waiting for the milk to come in a mother shouldn't have to have a starving screaming child. I suplimented dd's breastfeeds with formula and when we left hossie she shocked everyone by having gained 100g, when most babies lost weight in that time. I defied them and still gave her formula, but they gave me hell for it.

One of them even said 'well, she'll be on the bottle before you know it. You might as well have already given up.'

I think those women throw in the towel even quicker because of all the pressure that puts more stress on them. If you can't do it, you can't do it! The child will still live, and grow and thrive and is very lucky to have parents that care for and love them!

Anyway, I could go on forever about this, already have! So I will shut up and keep my grrrrrr's to myself! lol

btw if your friend needs some comfort and support just send her to look at this thread, and get her to join up! smile

i felt like a real failure when i turned to formula cause both bub and i were unhappy and now i look back "bottle was best" in our house!!!

I found it hard to bond with olivia and she was constantly crying, once we turned to formula everything started falling in was a life saver for me!!!

great for those who succeed in Breast feeding and great for those who decide to bottle feed....but i do agree the pressure needs to be lifted abit tho!!!

life is too short to stress about how your baby gets their food.
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