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Frustrated - just venting Lock Rss

My one-month-old DS has a bad case of breast refusal. I had an emergency C-section and he had trouble attaching initially. When the midwives in the hospital were trying to help me latch him on he would just kick and scream – probably didn’t help that they persisted instead of settling him. I finally started using a nipple shield but he wasn’t suckling properly and my supply dropped off. So now I’m bottle feeding him EBM.
I saw a lactation consultant yesterday again – and no joke the guy is like the baby whisperer. After some initial fussing and trying different things DS latched on (both boobs) and fed for over an hour – his tummy was so distended it looked like a ball! Trouble is I haven’t been able to get him to latch on again. Tried all the same things, skin to skin, giving him a bit of EBM before feeding, letting him suck on my finger, side lying position – he just goes nuts. It’s just so frustrating. I know he can do it but just won’t.

My one-month-old DS has a bad case of breast refusal. I had an emergency C-section and he had trouble attaching initially. When the midwives in the hospital were trying to help me latch him on he would just kick and scream – probably didn’t help that they persisted instead of settling him. I finally started using a nipple shield but he wasn’t suckling properly and my supply dropped off. So now I’m bottle feeding him EBM.
I saw a lactation consultant yesterday again – and no joke the guy is like the baby whisperer. After some initial fussing and trying different things DS latched on (both boobs) and fed for over an hour – his tummy was so distended it looked like a ball! Trouble is I haven’t been able to get him to latch on again. Tried all the same things, skin to skin, giving him a bit of EBM before feeding, letting him suck on my finger, side lying position – he just goes nuts. It’s just so frustrating. I know he can do it but just won’t.

sorry just saw this post no one has replied yet/ maybe your a little tense when trying to latch on..... maybe instead of trying to put him on lying on your side with him really close to the nipple, and express a little so he can smell it and even if he is crying sing and stroke his back , relax and hopefully he will start to nuzzle about for milk.... gently pop him on and keep stroking his back and humming.... don't get to upset or distressed because babies can sense it....

breath in and out in and out over and over in the nose and out the mouth cuddling and stroking baby so you both calm and snuggly....

i feel your frustration but you need to relax your whole body right from your toes..... smile
See that's the frustrating bit - I am really relaxed when I try to feed him. I stroke his back and talk to him. I've tried expressing a bit of milk but he still just screams his head off. If he can feel milk on his lips he'll suck it in but won't actually latch on and when he eventually calms down he just falls asleep sad
Hey I would call the lactation consultant and try to go back and see him. I saw them for quite a few weeks after I had DS as I also had problems with attachment. They were really good and only stopped seeing me when I said I was ready and happy to do it on my own.

Maybe you could try latching him on when he's sleepy? Kind of like a dream feed? Just until you both get the hang of it.

I'm seeing the lactation consultant again on Friday, but it's just getting worse and worse. I can't even do skin to skin without my bra on anymore. As soon as he sees boobs he starts screaming. It's weird though because when I have my bra on and he can smell my milk and he starts searching for my nipple and trying to suck on my bra.
I think I'm just gonna have to keep expressing for the next 5 months because it seems like I'm just traumatising him.
I don't have any advice my 2 latched easy but DS would do that alot due to his reflux.
if he is crying for food when you have your bra on lactch him on, just pull it down and put him on straight away..... you need to see a lactation consultant before friday because you are going to be bottle feeding until then so you are actually going in round abouts...

i also would get in the bath with your baby and have and nice time without trying to latch him but if he suggles in feed him...

if he is crying for food when you have your bra on lactch him on, just pull it down and put him on straight away..... you need to see a lactation consultant before friday because you are going to be bottle feeding until then so you are actually going in round abouts...

i also would get in the bath with your baby and have and nice time without trying to latch him but if he suggles in feed him...


The crying starts when I pull my bra down. And it's not just crying - he starts kicking and screaming. I've been seeing LCs for the past 5 weeks. The LC I saw last Friday was the first one who actually managed to get him to latch on (he only works Fridays and I want to see him again).
My aim was to do as much skin to skin as possible and try to get him to latch on once a day - but it's just not happening.
I'm gonna try having a bath with him tonight and see what happens. sad(((

I understand what you are going through, I have been feeding my little one EBM for the past 4 weeks because she was ineffectually feeding at the breast and was starving all the time, so I just gave up and started expressing because at least I knew how much she was getting. Anyway after 4 weeks of being chained to the breast pump I decided last week to see a LC. DD was having trouble latching because she was so used to the bottle, and was screaming on my boob and kicking her legs and carrying on. The LC showed me this manoevour (sp?) called RAM (rapid arm movement) and basically you hold your breast with your fingers at 12 and 6 o'clock, rub the nipple down her mouth until it opens wide, and then you shove them on the breast quite forcefully so they get a big mouthfull. Then with the thumb that is holding your babies head you start stroking behind the ear to stimulate the sucking reflex. This has worked really well for us. Usually after one or two goes she will attach and start strongly sucking. It feels wrong shoving the on the boob pretty hard, but it is the only way she will get a good mouthfull! Best of luck with it all, it has been SUCH an ordeal for us but I think we are finally turning a corner (fingers crossed) smile

also lying on your side then doing the above getting a big mouthful in and relax mummy,,,,, even if he crying tickle under chin can get sucking going.... and gentlyholding arm down if you can and sing sing hmmmmm and sing......

generally if she is taking it from a bottle maybe have they checked for tounge tie or similar???
Well done for persevering smile

Just a thought maybe when you hold him to bf he is lying down more and suffering silent reflux? I saw you said it's when you undo your bra but i always lie them first to be ready in position then take off my bra. Do you do that too which may be when the reflux starts? Is he upright when you give him a bottle?

Good luck

The LC showed me this manoevour (sp?) called RAM (rapid arm movement) and basically you hold your breast with your fingers at 12 and 6 o'clock, rub the nipple down her mouth until it opens wide, and then you shove them on the breast quite forcefully so they get a big mouthfull. Then with the thumb that is holding your babies head you start stroking behind the ear to stimulate the sucking reflex.

I think that's what got us into trouble in the first place. That's what the midwives at the hospital were doing when he wasn't latching on - and they traumatised him.
He's a big baby - at 3 weeks and 5 days he was 4.4kg and 57.5cm - and very strong, so when he starts kicking and pushing away it's impossible to actually force him on the breast.

Good to hear that things are going well for you and your DD though smile

Well done for persevering smile

Just a thought maybe when you hold him to bf he is lying down more and suffering silent reflux? I saw you said it's when you undo your bra but i always lie them first to be ready in position then take off my bra. Do you do that too which may be when the reflux starts? Is he upright when you give him a bottle?

Good luck

He's upright when I give him the bottle. He burps really well and only spills occasionally.
I put him on my chest (with my bra on) to get a bit of skin to skin - that's when he starts moving his head towards my nipple and sucking on my bra.
If I'm trying to BF him I position him on his side and then pull my bra down - and then he starts screaming tongue
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