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Does this frustrate anyone else? Lock Rss

So my mum is of the opinion breastfeeding is to hard so everyone should just formula feed.

When DS1 was 4 weeks old he was losing weight. My mum went on and on about how I should have just bottle fed him. I tried everything suggested to attempt to keep BF. 2 hourly feeds and expressing after every feed around the clock, BF mixtures, prescription tablets etc, none of which helped and by the time he was 8 weeks I was so stressed and frustrated that with a heavy heart I put him on formula.

So when I was pregnant with DS2 I decided as much as I wanted to BF I would not put myself through what I went through with DS1, so whatever happened, happened and I would just go with the flow.

This time around BF has just come naturally and DS2 is 5 months on Sunday and has always been a good weight gainer and I have no intention of stopping BF BUT......

My Mum drives me crazy about it! If DS2 is cranky she is convinced he's not getting enough. He usually goes down for the night at 7, wakes once during the night and then we start the day at 6. If he wakes more than once she is convinced he's not getting enough. Now she's at me that he's 5 months old, give him solids and he will sleep all night aaaarrrrggh!

She has no understanding of BF at all. She thinks babies should be fed precisely every 4 hours and not demand fed, they should not have growth spurts and feed more etc. And as for the solids he is just not ready!

Grrrrr this drives me so mad and I am sick and tired of explaining to her! Does anyone else have a relative like this? Please tell me I'm not alone!?

Yep! I feel your pain!!!

Everytime I fed my little man, an hour later mum would say he's hungry feed him again, when really he was just tired and wanted to be put to bed not cuddled! It drove me mental, I eventually gave up at about 6 months, and mum was there telling me exactly how to do it ect!

I hated how people would tell me he was hungry, i honestly thought my flow wasnt fast enough for him (hes a huge eater now!) but as he was gaining steadily no one was worried, except my mum!!!! GRRR he needed a formula top up all the time ( so she could give it to him of course!!!!)

Hopefully you can get through your mum troubles and feed your man till your both ready to stop!!! Only a mum knows whats right for your baby!
As her what her mum / or MIL was like when she had her first baby... did she drive her nuts with unwanted advice as well and constantly tell her what to do? laugh
laugh blink
They are ALL like that... & we will ALL probably be like that when our daughters (if you have one) have babies.

I remember i had heaps of b/f trouble with DS - he was prem - & my mum was trying to help me breast feed by grabbing at my nipples & stuff - eeeek - ummm, should probably add in there that she has never breast fed a baby in her life!! I decided that i would remove myself from the same room as her after that if i needed to feed, so what did she do?? follows me... argh. I was having enough issues as it was without her interference thanx... roll eyes
You're so not alone <span class="emoticon smile">smile</span> Some pre-prepared responses for you courtesy of LLL and pass the bean dip....
Gosh that sounds so stressful for all you ladies. Its no wonder why people give up, they have no support from the people that are supposed to give the most support! I didnt think that back in the day it would be the norm to FF?... unsure

Im glad that i wont have that problem as my mum has BF all of us 4 kids, and has never brought a tin of formula in her life. We were all pretty long BF'ers, me being 18months, and my brother and sisters im pretty sure at least until 9-12 months. I think she then put us on powdered milk for a very short time and then straight to cows milk.

is it possible for you to not feed when your around your mum? i hope that she doesnt stress yout too much to have to give up. Good luck.
Oh I get the same thing from some of my family about bf. Mine is more of the "I think it's time you give up" nature. My DS is 10 months and I've gone down the demand feeding road when everyone in my family did 4 hourly scheduled feeding. As much as my DS has 3 solid meals a day, plus arvo and morning tea he still b/fs 4x a day and sleeps through the night. People just need to understand that even though you are related the same rules don't fit everyone and every parent is comfortable with different methods. Hang in there. If you happy with feeding then just shrug your shoulders or ignore people. I sometimes just pretend I don't hear certain family members now and just change the subject. smile Good luck.

Gosh that sounds so stressful for all you ladies. Its no wonder why people give up, they have no support from the people that are supposed to give the most support! I didnt think that back in the day it would be the norm to FF?... unsure
My mum said the only reason she gave up at around 6mths for me was because it was too hard to do in public back then. Although bf was accepted, it was expected that women go into a public toilet or away from others to do it. Now it's perfectly okay to pop out a boob and feed where ever bub feels the need.

laugh blink
They are ALL like that... & we will ALL probably be like that when our daughters (if you have one) have babies.

my mum wasnt. she was really good and only tried to help wen i needed it, except for her wanting to let him cry longer but once she said her piece she would leave it at that. hopefully she lays off for ya op
No offence hon, but you need to tell her that it is your decision NOT HERS!! There are so many benefits of breastfeeding that if you are happy doing it and not having problems then it's best for everyone to keep it up!
i had almost exact same thing happen with DS1 and 2. after DS2, i realised my milk never came in with DS1, but i was determined to try again, and it was so easy the 2nd time around.

but, i got the opposite response from my mum with DS1. just keep going, push past the pain, he is getting all he needs, (well, apparently not) etc... when all i wanted was for someone to tell me with DS1, that is was ok to stop. it wasn't until i was in tears feeding, and was getting having panic attacks before every feed that DH said, you dont have to do this. finally i felt like i had been given permission, stopped immediately, and never looked back, as as it was, there was no milk to dry up so it was all good. but DS2 was a dream (as i hope DS3 will be in a few weeks)

sometimes mums do what they think you need, some mums think what they did 20-30 years ago is right, and i'm sure all mums have some sort of opinion one way or the other. what they need to understand is we need their support whatever WE choose. maybe thats the spin you should put on it for your mum and your bub. sure offer advise, but when a decision is made, respect it!
Glad to hear others have trouble with their own Mum. I've heard plenty of people talk about their interfering MIL but everybody i've spoken to has loved their own mum. I was thinking I must be really horrible. I find them both just plain annoying.
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