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Breast is ideal but not always best Lock Rss


Maybe she doesnt know that losing weight is normal. maybe she doesnt know anything about breastfeeding. How about you get that chip off your shoulder and actually read what the others have written.

To the OP. like th others have said 4 days IS NOT ENOUGH TIME. you need to persevere. Breastfeeding doesnt just happen its a learnt thing by you and bubs. there are multiple places you can call for help. your husband buying formula in my opinion is not helpful in the slightest. sorry but a supportive husband/partner would have the aba on the phone step by stepping you through attachment and any other issues. A newborns stomach is the size of a marble- a teeny tiny marble. It needs to be filled reguarly and only with a tiny amount. It is not to late to put her back on the breast. just completely cut out the formula and over the next few days she will feed and feed until your milk starts meeting her requirements...


It is comments like that that make mothers first time or 10th time feel like ***!

sorry? your not sorry, he husband was doing what he thought was right for his wife and their baby! so yes i believe he did do the right thing by getting that formula! instead of talking down to her maybe support her! its tough being a mum and you know what your doing a great job, HER choice to FF should not make a difference!!

Im not pro bf or pro ff im pro what ever makes you feel better and start enjoying your time with bubs

1st baby due start of sep


i really can't believe some of you!!!

twice now she has said that she feels like she made the right decision for her situation and yet there are still some of you persisting with the "are you sure you don't want to try again". don't you think she would of tried again if she wanted too? or if she really wanted to, given it another go?

i'm sure she knows that babies loose weight in the begining and repeatedly telling her so is patronising.

this is the reason why women feel like they are failures and are made to feel like they are bad mothers because others are second guessing her decision.

if you bf that's great but how about supporting other mothers that have made the choice not to rather than trying to convince her that it's better she bf.she didn't ask for encouragement or advice on how she can continue to bf she was saying that bf didn't work for her and she made the decision to ff, it doesn't matter if she came to that conclusion in 4 days, she feels it is the right one for her and baby.


100%

1st baby due start of sep


Maybe she doesnt know that losing weight is normal. maybe she doesnt know anything about breastfeeding. How about you get that chip off your shoulder and actually read what the others have written.

To the OP. like th others have said 4 days IS NOT ENOUGH TIME. you need to persevere. Breastfeeding doesnt just happen its a learnt thing by you and bubs. there are multiple places you can call for help. your husband buying formula in my opinion is not helpful in the slightest. sorry but a supportive husband/partner would have the aba on the phone step by stepping you through attachment and any other issues. A newborns stomach is the size of a marble- a teeny tiny marble. It needs to be filled reguarly and only with a tiny amount. It is not to late to put her back on the breast. just completely cut out the formula and over the next few days she will feed and feed until your milk starts meeting her requirements...


Actually, I think the husband buying formula is supportive. I had huge feeding issues, spent nearly 2 weeks in hospital sorting them out (and went home pumping hourly), and was still using shields at 3 months. Now at nearly 6 months everything is going really well. On our way home from hospital we bought a tin of formula, because at the end of the day, our baby needed nutrition, and if I wasn't able to give it to her, formula was the only other way. My baby is still fully breastfed, but we also have a tin in the cupboard in case it's needed. To me, hubs buying it would have been his way of saying, "I'm ok with this, don't beat yourself up about it". I have an amazing husband who got up with me in hospital every night every hour while I expressed, then to help me finger feed, it was a nightmare and I wouldn't still be feeding without him. At the same time, I needed to know that I had his support.
All that being said, I am all for breast feeding, but think that any decision you make has to be right for you. I don't think anyone here is having a go at the OP, they just want to let you know that if you do still want to feed, you can, and that most women will have feeding dramas, that's why there is a helpline for it! And that 4 days like others have said, is a drop in the ocean compared to how long it takes to properly establish feeding. My DD also lost weight, lots of it, just over 10% of her weight in 3 days, I was horrified, I felt like I was mal-nourishing her and belonged on the news as one of those awful mums who doesn't feed her children, so I know exactly how you feel, but like others have said, some loss is normal. It sounds like you are comfortable with your decision which is all that matters, but just know that if it's not what you really wanted, there is support out there should you change your mind.
Enjoy your baby - in a few years time breast feeding horrors will be a distant memory which ever way you decide to go!

i really can't believe some of you!!!

i'm sure she knows that babies loose weight in the begining and repeatedly telling her so is patronising.

this is the reason why women feel like they are failures and are made to feel like they are bad mothers because others are second guessing her decision.



If she understands that babies lose weight in the beginning she wouldn't be using that as a reason to ff. I am not being patronising, I am letting her know something that I gather she is not aware of due to her post.

" My little Princess was losing weight and my heart was breaking at seeing her so distressed because she was hungry and her tummy was grumbling because she was so hungry... I could of persisted in trying with the breast and a part of me wishes that I did but the most part of me could not bare to see my little one so sad and hungry."

If she chooses to ff, that is her prerogative. However to post that it breast wasn't best for her baby for reasons that are actually totally normal that everyone goes through, it suggests that she either didn't realise (which is totally fine and why everyone was trying to help!) or that she doesn't want to bf. (which is also fine) My concern is that everything she has written in the above statement is totally normal for a 4 day old baby. Milk is only just coming in, they are only learning to bf, parents are working out the whole crying thing. Many women assume their baby is crying from starvation and switch to formula when in actual fact, many women don't even have milk yet. If you choose to ff, no worries. But don't try and squish it into the "my baby knows best box." I also understand at around day 4 your hormones are all over the place. Everything can seem terrible (or fantastic! or both! lol) The reason people are trying to encourage her to continue is because if she thinks breast is best and wants to continue its the support and advice that makes a difference. Just like if someone said they wanted to ff, all the ff would jump on and support that. She has given mixed messages as she says its best, but not for her....

Maybe she doesnt know that losing weight is normal. maybe she doesnt know anything about breastfeeding. How about you get that chip off your shoulder and actually read what the others have written.

To the OP. like th others have said 4 days IS NOT ENOUGH TIME. you need to persevere. Breastfeeding doesnt just happen its a learnt thing by you and bubs. there are multiple places you can call for help. your husband buying formula in my opinion is not helpful in the slightest. sorry but a supportive husband/partner would have the aba on the phone step by stepping you through attachment and any other issues. A newborns stomach is the size of a marble- a teeny tiny marble. It needs to be filled reguarly and only with a tiny amount. It is not to late to put her back on the breast. just completely cut out the formula and over the next few days she will feed and feed until your milk starts meeting her requirements...



who the hell are you to tell her she needs to persevere? for her 4 days was long enough.

i can't understand the obsession some of you have with bf'ing. bf is only a small part of raising a child. can you honestly tell me that if you walk in a room of adults you will be able to tell who was bf and who wasn't.

The day i broke up with normal was the first day of my magical life...


who the hell are you to tell her she needs to persevere? for her 4 days was long enough.

i can't understand the obsession some of you have with bf'ing. bf is only a small part of raising a child. can you honestly tell me that if you walk in a room of adults you will be able to tell who was bf and who wasn't.

I don't really think that its an obsession, to me the majority of posts in this thread have been supportive of her choosing to FF, but also encouraging her to try BF again. Nothing wrong with that, its a public forum so starting a topic opens you up to both sides of the argument. and everyone knows on here posting about BF and FF is going to get strong responses pro BF, its a passionate subject for a lot of mums. Equally not being judged for FF is a passionate subject as well.

IMO I think if someone was really serious about BF then they should seek professional help and support if they are having trouble, rather than giving up so soon. But at the end of the day, like you say sugar and spice its only a small part of parenting.

who the hell are you to tell her she needs to persevere? for her 4 days was long enough.

i can't understand the obsession some of you have with bf'ing. bf is only a small part of raising a child. can you honestly tell me that if you walk in a room of adults you will be able to tell who was bf and who wasn't.


blink feeding your child isn't a small part of raising a child...its one of the biggest things about it. Its the only thing you have total control over to ensure your kids health for now and the long term. Its one of the only times in your life where you get to nourish them in such a way that you can bond at the same time. bottle feeding or bf, feeding them is a major deal.

I never understood the argument of "you can't tell the difference when you walk into a room of adults....." of course not. You also can't tell who was abused as a kid. Doesn't mean that abuse is insignificant.....

How you feed your kid, affects their growth, it affects their brain development, it affects their health. It affects them as to whether you hold the bottle for them or whether you hand it to them to feed themselves.
Everything we do with them effects them. If you think of it compared to animals.....milk substitute is used in emergencies only. To ensure the optimum health of animals you try and get milk from the same species. (from the mother preferably) this is to ensure the best chance of their survival to begin with and to ensure a healthy life as an adult. Just because ff is more common and seen as a right and a choice (which it is) it doesn't mean that it is equal.

blink feeding your child isn't a small part of raising a child...its one of the biggest things about it. Its the only thing you have total control over to ensure your kids health for now and the long term. Its one of the only times in your life where you get to nourish them in such a way that you can bond at the same time. bottle feeding or bf, feeding them is a major deal.

I never understood the argument of "you can't tell the difference when you walk into a room of adults....." of course not. You also can't tell who was abused as a kid. Doesn't mean that abuse is insignificant.....

How you feed your kid, affects their growth, it affects their brain development, it affects their health. It affects them as to whether you hold the bottle for them or whether you hand it to them to feed themselves.
Everything we do with them effects them. If you think of it compared to animals.....milk substitute is used in emergencies only. To ensure the optimum health of animals you try and get milk from the same species. (from the mother preferably) this is to ensure the best chance of their survival to begin with and to ensure a healthy life as an adult. Just because ff is more common and seen as a right and a choice (which it is) it doesn't mean that it is equal.



i specifically said breast feeding. even if you bf for 3 years it's still a small part of being a parent in the grand scheme of things, is it not? i'm not talking about feeding in general.
at some point the child will start to eat solids and then bf is even less significant to their long term health as the breast feeding will eventually stop and solids will continue. does that make sense?

The day i broke up with normal was the first day of my magical life...


i specifically said breast feeding. even if you bf for 3 years it's still a small part of being a parent in the grand scheme of things, is it not? i'm not talking about feeding in general.
at some point the child will start to eat solids and then bf is even less significant to their long term health as the breast feeding will eventually stop and solids will continue. does that make sense?


its all about the attitude though isnt it. its essentially what it comes down to. if the attitude is i know this is best but that is easier so i will do that, its likely to continue over many years. once a kid is eating solids sure the bf becomes less significant, but the attitude still plays a huge part. plus the bm has all the right fats and nutrients for organs to develop, grow and start processing so the bm in the early years gives your organs the best possible start. if your organs are optimal to begin with they are better able to deal with the toxins they need to face when older.
another thing to consider is that women are more likely to choose the feeding method their parent chose. this could potentially mean the health of your grandkid....

its all about the attitude though isnt it. its essentially what it comes down to. if the attitude is i know this is best but that is easier so i will do that, its likely to continue over many years. once a kid is eating solids sure the bf becomes less significant, but the attitude still plays a huge part. plus the bm has all the right fats and nutrients for organs to develop and grow so the bm in the early years gives your organs the best possible start. if your organs are optimal to begin with they are better able to deal with the toxins they need to face when older.
another thing to consider is that women are more likely to choose the feeding method their parent chose. this could potentially mean the health of your grandkid....


so are you implying that ff children are less healthy and that parents that chose to ff are taking the easy way out and that they will continue to feed them in a way that is easier ( and not as healthy)?

if so then this is exactly what i meant about people making others feel like sh!t for the choices they have made....that is so wrong

The day i broke up with normal was the first day of my magical life...


so are you implying that ff children are less healthy and that parents that chose to ff are taking the easy way out and that they will continue to feed them in a way that is easier ( and not as healthy)?

if so then this is exactly what i meant about people making others feel like sh!t for the choices they have made....that is so wrong


agree have no more + left grin

1st baby due start of sep


so are you implying that ff children are less healthy and that parents that chose to ff are taking the easy way out and that they will continue to feed them in a way that is easier ( and not as healthy)?

if so then this is exactly what i meant about people making others feel like sh!t for the choices they have made....that is so wrong


I don't think anyone was implying that. From what ive read people have been suggesting ways to continue BF if she still felt like she wanted too as many women give up too soon due to lack of information. But FF mums take that as insulting to them and that BF mums are trying to be all pretentious. The fact is BF is better for bubs, it's a fact and that is why it can be worth trying to overcome problems in the early days. But FF is the 2nd best or plan B option and if that is what a mum wants to do then she shouldn't feel guilty, sometimes there is no other choice. I think your post is kinda trying to start an argument here, pushing people into BF or FF sides. Only you make yourself feel like sh!t for your decisions.

DS - Nov 2008 & DD - Feb 2012

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