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  5. Breast is ideal but not always best

Breast is ideal but not always best Lock Rss


We all know that mums who choose to formula feed feel perpetually guilty.


sorry, just wanted to say that is not true. i introduced both of my children to formula at 3 months. they received both bm (and ebm) and formula until they were 6 months when i stopped bf altogether. all by choice. i dont feel guilty at all.

That is not always the case, and it annoys me when we get into saying that breastfeeding is the only way bonding occurs. I have a sensory processing disorder and I find breastfeeding to be almost unbearable. The feeling of it is all too much for me. I am still breastfeeding my 9 month old and I can tell you right now there is nothing bonding about our breastfeeds. She has 2 bottles a day so is partially bottlefed for the sake of my sanity and I can tell you it is those bottlefeeds that are our bonding time. Those are the times that I can look down at her and feel love, we can take our time with the feed because I am not counting down the seconds before I can rip her off like I do with the breastfeeds. So yes breastfeeding may be an incredible bonding experience for some. But is not for all.

I'm aware that there are women who have very rare conditions, such as yours. That some mothers feel like throwing up or experience severe pain - but they are very rare cases. I was simply trying to say that BF is not just about providing nutrition for your bub. There are other psychological, physiological and hormonal changes which occur - e.g. it helps to shrink the uterus post-partum, it delays the return of AF etc.

sorry, just wanted to say that is not true. i introduced both of my children to formula at 3 months. they received both bm (and ebm) and formula until they were 6 months when i stopped bf altogether. all by choice. i dont feel guilty at all.


Oh okay, well that's good. You shouldn't feel guilty, and women who choose to do as you did, or who choose to use formula early on, should not feel the need to be constantly defending themselves. It is their body after all. I didn't really mean formula supplement feeding, I meant those who decide breastfeeding is not working for them so switch completely in the early days.

Oh okay, well that's good. You shouldn't feel guilty, and women who choose to do as you did, or who choose to use formula early on, should not feel the need to be constantly defending themselves. It is their body after all. I didn't really mean formula supplement feeding, I meant those who decide breastfeeding is not working for them so switch completely in the early days.


lol, no probs. i dont feel any need to defend my decision either. i think those that do probably do feel guilty cos they had a picture of how things were suppose to go but unfortunately it didnt work out that way due to whatever reason.

there is no argument as to whether breast milk is best for bubs healthwise etc. of course it is. but it is not always best for mum, and that is ok.

DP was jealous that he couldn't feed her & kept encouraging me that it would be easier.

wow. thats really interesting! I think my dp may feel the same, or at least want to share the 'burden' iykwim. I think he feels guilty he can't really help when he can see ds is hurting me as well. (still settling into bf here)
I know i felt soooo jealous the first 2 days after ds was born when he was in nicu and i couldn't get out of bed dp fed him my ebm... I hated it!

so do bottle fed babies bond better with BOTH parents? I think if i was ff I would prefer to still do the feeds... apart from those midnight ones lol!

DP was jealous that he couldn't feed her & kept encouraging me that it would be easier. He would be able to get up in the night to let me get some sleep.


My partner was the exact same. He was asking me to stop putting myself through it, and to let him help and saying he felt useless etc etc.

He just didn't think it would matter as our girl would be healthy on formula or breastmilk. I didn't listen to him and it did affect their relationship, but that's just what happens with breastfeeding. He was the same with our son because he didn't want to miss out on the love. Third child he finally understood the importance of breastfeeding. Dads just have a different role, doesn't mean it is less important.

His mum had formula fed all her children and was convinced that the benefits of breastfeeding was a big conspiracy. Even something about breastmilk making kids "dumb" and she was apparently starving them all in the first 24 hours so had to stop? So he thought it was pointless suffering. I do think a supportive partner will look past a babies needs to a mothers needs, but it is also really important that a mum knows her child is just as important to the dad as the child is to her.
I haven't read all the replies but im jacked off!!!!

Here is a woman who has made a choice that wil not harm her baby, that she is happy with and is wanting to show support for others in her position. Yet some of you still had to put the boot in!

Just because you say 'oh if thats your decision thats fine' doesn't stop your comments about her not having tried hard enough being hurtful! Why lecture someone on how they shouldn't give up and how bf is so wonderful then tell them you support them? That is not support!

Just because you pushed through the bleeding nipples, crying baby, blisters etc and came out the other side with a halo doesn't give you the right to lecture people on perseverance.

I lost part of my god damn nipple because of preachy do gooders telling me to preserve!

You obviously think your helping but your not! Your being pushy.




OOOHHH... INTERNET FIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? CAPS LOCK ME TOO DEATH?
(Noddy's not fat ffs!)


lol, no probs. i dont feel any need to defend my decision either. i think those that do probably do feel guilty cos they had a picture of how things were suppose to go but unfortunately it didnt work out that way due to whatever reason.

there is no argument as to whether breast milk is best for bubs healthwise etc. of course it is. but it is not always best for mum, and that is ok.


I think the difference is, you made an informed decision. You obviously believed in the pluses of bm which is why you found other ways to give it to them. You had also bf for 3 months which is great and an achievement in itself. I think when you have come to the conclusion that you need to give your kid formula because it actually is the best thing to do in whatever your circumstance, then there shouldn't be any guilt because you know its what you need to do. I think perhaps the guilt comes from jumping on the bandwagon and not necessarily having their own reason for stopping......no idea if that makes sense. I see it with the vaccinating issue. People not vaccinating - not because they have researched it and decided thats what is best for their own kid, but not doing it because others around them don't - but they don't really understand why. They just quote the same reasons.
Thats why I think you really can only be happy with your choice, if you understand it. You can't feel guilty if you understand why you are ff or why bf didn't work for you.

I haven't read all the replies but im jacked off!!!!

Here is a woman who has made a choice that wil not harm her baby, that she is happy with and is wanting to show support for others in her position. Yet some of you still had to put the boot in!

Just because you say 'oh if thats your decision thats fine' doesn't stop your comments about her not having tried hard enough being hurtful! Why lecture someone on how they shouldn't give up and how bf is so wonderful then tell them you support them? That is not support!

Just because you pushed through the bleeding nipples, crying baby, blisters etc and came out the other side with a halo doesn't give you the right to lecture people on perseverance.

I lost part of my god damn nipple because of preachy do gooders telling me to preserve!

You obviously think your helping but your not! Your being pushy.


Noddy...you need to read the replies before you leap to conclusions. tongue People aren't having a go - it has been talked about already.

I haven't read all the replies but im jacked off!!!!


Maybe go back and read the replies tongue:) fair point but it has come up already

Noddy...you need to read the replies before you leap to conclusions. tongue People aren't having a go - it has been talked about already.

I know. But those earlier comments made me so angry because of my own experience. I just felt like I needed to defend iykwim.

Its been a year and im still obviously missing part of my ariola. sad




OOOHHH... INTERNET FIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? CAPS LOCK ME TOO DEATH?
(Noddy's not fat ffs!)


I know. But those earlier comments made me so angry because of my own experience. I just felt like I needed to defend iykwim.

Its been a year and im still obviously missing part of my ariola. sad


I can't find the right word sound effect to match the "yeouch" expression on my face. You poor thing...sad
Unfortunately though, its not fair to ask people to not support/advocate or talk about bf issues because you had a bad experience. sad (we need a hug icon.....)
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