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Choosing not to breast feed Lock Rss

So, here’s the dilemma….I’m pretty sure I don’t want to breast feed!

Long story short, and sorry if TMI, but just want to share the background. When I was young, I was inappropriately touched by a relative and when I think about breast feeding it makes me completely uncomfortable to think of me putting my child onto my breast. In my head I’m trying to rationalize that it’s functional only and that it’s giving my child the best start to life, but I can’t get myself past the thought that I think it’s inappropriate for me to be doing that to a child.

I have read so much literature on how breast is best and I’m making myself so anxious about what the best thing is to do for my child. At times I think I just need to suck it up and make myself do it if the milk is going to be the best nutritional start, particularly with the natural antibodies passed on from Mum to bubs. But I know I’m going to be forcing myself to do something I don’t really want. Actually, not don’t really want. Don’t want at all.

I’ve heard that its supposed to be an incredibly bonding experience and to be honest, it makes me quite sad that someone’s perverse actions is taking away something that every Mother enjoys with their baby by changing my thoughts on the whole thing. But now that I think it's inappropriate, it's impossible to un-think it!

My hubby is encouraging me to go straight to formula feeding. He says that companies wouldn’t be able to sell formula if it didn’t give the baby all of the required nutrients. He says it’s not worth putting myself through breast feeding if I’m not comfortable with it and that I’d end up stressed and upset which would affect the baby anyway, but I’m so concerned about judgement from midwives and other Mum’s if I say I’m choosing not to breast feed my child at all.

Has anyone chosen not to breast feed? If so, did you feel any guilt about it or experience judgement or pressure about your decision?
hey.
GBH to u. i breastfed for 8 weeks and chose to give up as i had a real hard time as i developed eczema. i felt really guilty to start with and even now sometime regret not giving it more of a shot but i think at the time it was the best thing for both DS and i.
its ur decision if u chose not to bf and dont let any1 make u feel guilty as u have a good reason for not feeling comfortable with it.
just a suggestion have u been to councilling for this?? i had a similar thing happen to me but by some1 i dont know a couple of years ago and i found councilling really helped.
other wise u could try expressing so that bubs get the colostrum and milk even if its just for the 1st 6weeks or so. it is really hard work and tiring expressing though.
or u could try breastfeeding and see how u go u might change ur mind how u feel once uve had bubs.
breast is def best and for my next child i will def try again. but when it comes down to it u have to do wat u feel is best for u and bubs if its goin to stress u out then that will also stress bubs out and thats not good for either of u.
my advice would be to try it while ur in hospital with the support of the midwives and ur husband and hopefully it will work out for u and bubs.
good luck hun!!

So, here’s the dilemma….I’m pretty sure I don’t want to breast feed!

Long story short, and sorry if TMI, but just want to share the background. When I was young, I was inappropriately touched by a relative and when I think about breast feeding it makes me completely uncomfortable to think of me putting my child onto my breast. In my head I’m trying to rationalize that it’s functional only and that it’s giving my child the best start to life, but I can’t get myself past the thought that I think it’s inappropriate for me to be doing that to a child.

I have read so much literature on how breast is best and I’m making myself so anxious about what the best thing is to do for my child. At times I think I just need to suck it up and make myself do it if the milk is going to be the best nutritional start, particularly with the natural antibodies passed on from Mum to bubs. But I know I’m going to be forcing myself to do something I don’t really want. Actually, not don’t really want. Don’t want at all.

I’ve heard that its supposed to be an incredibly bonding experience and to be honest, it makes me quite sad that someone’s perverse actions is taking away something that every Mother enjoys with their baby by changing my thoughts on the whole thing. But now that I think it's inappropriate, it's impossible to un-think it!

My hubby is encouraging me to go straight to formula feeding. He says that companies wouldn’t be able to sell formula if it didn’t give the baby all of the required nutrients. He says it’s not worth putting myself through breast feeding if I’m not comfortable with it and that I’d end up stressed and upset which would affect the baby anyway, but I’m so concerned about judgement from midwives and other Mum’s if I say I’m choosing not to breast feed my child at all.

Has anyone chosen not to breast feed? If so, did you feel any guilt about it or experience judgement or pressure about your decision?



It is completely your decision as to what u wish to do. If it makes u feel uncomfortable their is no point in doing it as if u try the stress that your body let's off when your are trying your baby can feel if that makes sense.
Formula feeding is perfectly fine for a baby. An in a way your reason for not feeding is not a silly excuse it is quiet serious. So don't be daunted by the fact your don't want to and the opinions of others is that just their opinion so don't be worried you know what is going to be best for your baby. Good luck with everything.

So, here’s the dilemma….I’m pretty sure I don’t want to breast feed!

Long story short, and sorry if TMI, but just want to share the background. When I was young, I was inappropriately touched by a relative and when I think about breast feeding it makes me completely uncomfortable to think of me putting my child onto my breast. In my head I’m trying to rationalize that it’s functional only and that it’s giving my child the best start to life, but I can’t get myself past the thought that I think it’s inappropriate for me to be doing that to a child.

I have read so much literature on how breast is best and I’m making myself so anxious about what the best thing is to do for my child. At times I think I just need to suck it up and make myself do it if the milk is going to be the best nutritional start, particularly with the natural antibodies passed on from Mum to bubs. But I know I’m going to be forcing myself to do something I don’t really want. Actually, not don’t really want. Don’t want at all.

I’ve heard that its supposed to be an incredibly bonding experience and to be honest, it makes me quite sad that someone’s perverse actions is taking away something that every Mother enjoys with their baby by changing my thoughts on the whole thing. But now that I think it's inappropriate, it's impossible to un-think it!

My hubby is encouraging me to go straight to formula feeding. He says that companies wouldn’t be able to sell formula if it didn’t give the baby all of the required nutrients. He says it’s not worth putting myself through breast feeding if I’m not comfortable with it and that I’d end up stressed and upset which would affect the baby anyway, but I’m so concerned about judgement from midwives and other Mum’s if I say I’m choosing not to breast feed my child at all.

Has anyone chosen not to breast feed? If so, did you feel any guilt about it or experience judgement or pressure about your decision?


Hi, sorry to hear someone has put you in this position.

I breastfed my son for 5 weeks as I was hopeless at it and had all sorts of trouble.

My auntie said to me once (who breastfed her two kids), that when you're not doing it it seems the most unnatural thing ever, but when you're doing it it seems the most natural and I totally agree with her. It creeps me out a bit to think of it now, but at the time other than me being like a cow on a bike - it was normal.

My advice to you is, don't think about it, don't make any decisions until you have the baby. Have your formula and bottles ready to go and see how you feel at the time.

Good luck and whatever you choose for your baby is going to be right!!

Have fun smile
I'm so sorry you experienced something so traumatic!

The fact of the matter is, your decision is exactly that - yours to make. And formula feeding is not some kind of horrendous act towards your child, as much as some may like to make it out to be: it's not for everyone! Also, with the amount of stress this is putting on you it could very well mean you don't even produce milk, or that even if you did it wouldn't be enough for your baby and you would have to substitute with formula anyway, which when you think about it is no different to any woman who has to formula feed because they never produced milk - hence why formula was invented, so babies don't starve!

I think that if you are given any crap when you're in hospital about your choices by any member of hospital staff that I would take note of their name and position and lodge a formal complaint against them - they have no right to make you feel bad or guilty or judged for your decisions and should be reprimanded for even trying to.


My advice to you is, don't think about it, don't make any decisions until you have the baby. Have your formula and bottles ready to go and see how you feel at the time.




I was going to say the same as this. You might feel different about it once you meet your bubs, and the action of giving it a go might actually help you overcome some of the feelings you have from your past. Often when we actually do something we've been afraid of it can be surprising that its nowhere near as bad as we thought.

However you should also have everything you need ready in case you decide not to breastfeed so that if you decide not to at the time, there's no pressure because you're already set up for that too.

Do you let your husband touch your breasts?




hey, I choose not to breastfeed and didn't feel guilty about it at all. My ob gave me a tablet within 24 hours of having them both so my milk wouldn't come in and he or the midwives never questioned my decision. In fact, some of them kind of gave me the nod and said, "shouldn't say this but you'll have a happy baby!".

Both my children were happy contented babies and are now both healthy and very active. No one is going to look at your child in 2 years time and whisper, "he's/she's not a breastfeed baby". I definately bonded with them both and good thing was so did my husband cause he got to feed them as well (great for when bub wanted a feed in the night and he got up to do it)

It is no ones business but your own .. if people ever made comments to me I would say something stupid like, "Baby is on the bottle and so is Mummy" (not true of course but they wouldn't know what to say to that).

The formulas these days are great and babies thrive on them.

Don't feel guilty, do what is right for you and your bub.

Good luck !

Dav

breastfeedings only best for bubs if its best for mum too smile you won't have a happy bubs if your not happy smile things might change when you have baby it might seem like the natural thing to do but if it still doesn't feel right then don't beat yourself up about it, baby will still get all the goodness they need from formula, and feeding when you don't feel comfortable doing so I'd imagine could do more harm than good in terms of bonding. good luck xx
GBH to you, as pp's , dont feel guilty, i live by the motto, a happy mum a happy baby, and honestly if you give it a go and are super dooper stressed and worried, it will prob affect your milk supply anyway, so just go with what feels right for you and bubs.
good luck with everything xxx
Hi there,

I went in to pre term labour at 35 weeks and my DS was put on low birth weight formula while he was in hospital and stayed on it even after we took him home. The doctor told me that both baby and mum need to be happy and that the formula my DS was on is good.

I think it was the best decision for us and I bottle fed my daughter as well and I don't regret that at all and I have a very strong bond with both my babies.

I feel like I've been judge by a few people and that I have to explain it to some people in detail why we chose to bottle feed but it was the best decision for us.

Do want is right for you......

I personally can't see a difference with my children to my friends chrildren who are the same age that were breastfed
There is nothing wrong with formula feeding. I chose not to breastfeed because I am just not comfortable with doing it. My DD is now 5 she doesnt have any allergies and she is quite clever, she was also a happy and content baby. I am due in 2 weeks with my 2nd baby and I am choosing to formula feed again. I do not feel guilty about my decision, and no one has ever tried to make me feel guilty either. The midwives have been supportive as well.
Try not to stress and don't put pressure on yourself. Do what feels right for you and your baby.
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