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  5. Not sleeping and when she cries enough, she vomits

Not sleeping and when she cries enough, she vomits Rss

I have been a mother for 22 months and in that time have never had a full nights sleep.

When my little girl was born she was very small and I was told, by the midwives, that she was not to go any longer than 3 hours without a feed. So, from day 1 I was waking her up every 3 hours for a feed, even during the night. When she was 3 months I was told by the doctor that if she was hungry that she would wake - I tried to stop. But, every three hours, she would wake (as you would if that had been your routine for the first 3 months of your life).

Anyway, she has suffered from reflux, which we have now sorted out through medication by the time that she was 12 months old (she is no longer taking the medication) but she is still not sleeping.

Every now and then she will wake up screaming and it is as if she is not even awake. I have read your comments regarding this. I believe that my little girl suffers from night terrors and I understand that you can't do much about this other than to be there for them when they are aware of what is happening. When she does wake up she looks at my husband and myself like "why are you in my room?". I think that this only occurs if she has had too much sugar in one day. Normally happens after we have been to a birthday party and she has eaten alot of sweet things but still not completely sure, yet.

To go to sleep, I lay down with her. She has never slept in her cot - I tried but she got really freaked out - she was somehow terrified of it and I could see in her eyes that she was scared. So she has her little bed on the floor. I tried controlled comforting her in her cot but it did not work - she would poo everytime that I left her so I would have to pick her up and change her - then it would happen all over again - she was really scared.

I understand that staying with her when she goes to sleep in the incorrect thing to do however, this is my problem. If i read her a book in bed and then leave she cries and cries and cries until she works herself up so much that she vomits and she will continue to do this until she gets me. She will not settle for her Dad, she only wants me. I have tried controlled comforting but of course it becomes dangerous when a child vomits and I have been told by her doctor not to do this but have been offered no other suggestions.

She wakes usually once before midnight and again in the early morning. All it takes is a little bottle during the wake in the early morning to put her back to a solid sleep until about 7.30 - 8.00am. However, sometimes she wakes every hour on the hour but not so much any more.

When she wakes during the night, only I can settle her back down. If I leave her to cry, she will vomit and if her Dad tries to comfort her, she usually evenually vomits.

I don't know how to reassure her that she can go to sleep by herself without working herself up so much.

Do you have any suggestions.

In anticipation - Nikki

Niki, sa, 22 month old toddler

Hi Nikki,

Unfortunately your little girl only associates sleep with you and if you don’t change that neither will she, but I think you seem to understand all this. She vomits as a power play for your attention and it works. We say in the It’s Time To Sleep program that if baby vomits during the settling techniques to clean baby up in the cot with minimal fuss and no eye contact and get on with the settling.

I really believe that you would benefit from some one on one support and if you are in Melbourne I would suggest that you call Rhonda Abrahams for in house settling.
Her contact number is 03 95139500

Let me know how you get on.

Cheers Maree

It's Time to Sleep

Nikki, You sound just like me about two years ago. However, from my experience, controlled crying will make your life a living hell. As a young mother without any confidence I relied on the "experts." I even watched the video that these ladies created at my local child health clinic. I was told to 'persevere' with the technique at all costs. Six months later the only result of controlled crying was to give me postnatal depression, and my son permanent damage to his throat from the vomitting. The only thing that worked for us was to attend to my son's need for me at that time. And no wonder he needed me, he was in agony. I cancelled all my appontments for three weeks, just like with controlled crying, but instead I lay with my son and cuddled him to sleep. I lay with him the whole time he slept, and after three weeks, he was comfotable with the thought of sleeping. From then on, after being cuddled to sleep, he would sleep by himself. Now, two years later, he sleeps in his own bed for 9 uninterrupted hours every night, and 1 - 3 hours during the day. DON'T RISK YOUR AND YOUR CHILD'S PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL WELLBEING WITH CONTROLLED CRYING. It's obviously not working for you. Believe in yourself enough to trust that your child has something important to tell you - and it's not manipulation. Children are individuals and should not be forced to conform to someone else's 'ideal' sleeper.

mum_of_2

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