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Girls I need your opinion!!! Lock Rss

Hi All, just wanted to raise a point. I would be really concerned if i was in your position, but is it really fair to say that a rapist is the same as an incestuous child molesterer?

I think before any rash decisions are made that you try and get your lawyer to find out about this sex offender charge.
But definately keep your wits about you. I think the visitation is reasonable, but thats just my opinion and its not my child. You have every right to act as you feel necessary to protect your daughter.

Good luck to you and let us know how it goes!

I have 3 boys!!!

Hey Lucy, this situation may have been a topic I perhaps would have seen differently eight years ago, but not now. Honestly, I do not believe that any sex offendor or someone who abuses their children should have unsupervised visitation.
My ex was an awful person and I was smart and lucky enough to realise it sooner, rather than later. Unfortunately he has not changed over the years...
Hi, reading about the situation that you are facing gave me goosebumps. All i can say is that you need to protect your daughter by doing whatever you have in your powers to do. I have minimal knowledge about the family law court process, i know that the big push at the moment is for shared care. My understanding is also that if there aren;t any current court orders he can come and take her and he doesn;'t have to give her back. I would be pushing for supervised contact - come from the argument that your daughter doesnt know this man and should she become distressed she would need someone familiar to comfort her. The assessment by court psych would also be beneficial, someone should also be acting as your daughter's solicitor and be speaking to her about what she wants. As for the rape offence - your solicictor could subpoena police - any records of violence , criminal activity etc which could place your daughter at risk of harm would then be part of your evidence....

DD born 17/08/2007

Hi i've been reading your post, The first thing that I would be doing is going to legal aid and get interim orders put in place. So that *he* could not just take her from school ect. Make sure you put down every thing you can think of as your Major conserns. By the way what state are you in? Im in W.A.
I had to go through some thing simmlar last year we went to court on the 11th of sep 2006. The ruleing came back on the 13th of sep. My son has never known his bio father. In the documentation done for the court through the clinical psycholigest (SP) he had admitted to being banned from a local pool for some thing *indecent dealings with kids there* My son at the time of his last visit with him was when he was 18 mths old. My ex's family never kept in contact with us at all. which went against them too. It took 18 months to get the court case finished with and a do not contact order put in place. He is not allowed to contact the school he's at or our home or even approach him in the street. In certin cercomstances (SP) they will say no to visitation. My ex wanted to have contact through Relationship australia. They would make out a report at the end of the time on how the child is doing with the visits. I would not get family involved as it's not really a good idea. If you have a service like that in your area that could supervise and then can make a report out then that's a better option If you are made to do it. In the end the court has to take into account if the child does want contact with the father/mother at the end of the day. But if you can find out any information on him and being able to table it in court it would help. After talking to My Ex's *ex sister inlaw* I found out more information about that family. That one of my son's uncles has been charged with child molestering a child, and her own kids that are with there dad the dad had molestred the eldest. with my ex the Dr/pshycologest observed in appropriate behaviour where he approched another child he did not know. But As I opened with Get in place interem orders as soon as poss. If you feel he could just turn up to the front door at any time you should have some kind of protection. But find some kind of representation as soon as possable. I hope you have luck in your biggest fight ahead of you.


Rob 26.oct.92 Shona 28.may.07 Bryce 15.april.08

Erk that is so stupid, find a lawyer that agrees with you and fight him tooth and nail, keep your daughter away from him, i dont care that he's the father, he's a dam rapist!

That fact should be enough to prove she isn't safe with him, so i dont know why it shouldnt work. Got to court, dont wait on him to do it, get it over with now and hit him like a sack of cr@p cause you need to protect yourself and your baby from god only knows what.

Best of luck,


Besides the fact that he is a sex offender, your child doesnt KNOW HIM!!!!!! Surely it would have to be supervised for that reason alone. I wouldnt make my child spend time alone with someone they dont know. That couldnt be in her best interest wouldnt the courts see that?

Hi DaniMaree thats fair enough. At the end of the day its your call, and Im sure if I was in the same situation then Id probably do the same.

You have to do what you thinks right. Good luck. xxx

I have 3 boys!!!

i am not in the exact same situation as you, but am going through custodial battle at the moment.. the law isnt on our sides...since custodial laws have changed the government os opting for 'shared ' parenting....even if the other half (mum or dad) hasnt been in the childs life.... im looking at a $20,000 plus fight my lawyer said.... i really feel for try and dig up everything i can..

Aimee, 4 year old princess

Mmm... yes, the new shared parenting laws that I QUOTE "Means a move away from long and costly court battles to a more co-operative approach between seperating parents" and my personal favourite "the new laws make it clear that it's all about putting the needs and the best interests of the children first".

I have spent this last week attempting to understand this law... Not only because he is a sex offender, but also how someone who abandoned their child, has made no attempt to even contact them for 7 years and does not even pay child support can just waltz back into a childs life and pretty much dictate what they want and the court allows it. Maybe not straight away, but eventually. Do the wrong thing and you will not be punished...

I am not the only one in this situation and is just not right. Please don't take any of this out of context, I do believe that every child has a right to know and see their parents. It just seems to me that the law is just not on the side of the supportive parent.

Sorry again girls about yet another long rant. I seem to be experiencing every emotion possible at the moment! Plus I re-read his affadavit again today which upset me.
Is it my imagination or is it with the new laws the family court seem to be trying to balance the shared care equation at what ever cost?

...without reading anyone elses opinions... no effen way... not a chance on earth, hell, heaven.. ANYWHERE!!! ..i'd fight like hell to AT LEAST have supervised visits (i'll supervise, my crowbar with his skull!!) .. i HATE the way people say 'after treatment sex offenders are cured'... they're like that because they are sick disgusting immoral wankers and they should be killed!! i dont care if i offend anyone... if i offend you then follow the perverts and the creeps and the pedofiles and the psycho maniacs... once a rapist, always a rapist and they should rott in hell... ~made blood boil and curdle all at once~ ... i would HATE to be in ur situation (probably not helping you in the slightest) .. but hes a pig and i'd spit on him.. (more than that if it wasnt illegal) .. fight like hell, spend what u can on lawyers and whatnot... i would NOT let my kid be alone with him, even for a second.. gah..sick disgusting pig :| ...i hope he reads these too... maybe he'll get the hint or something... ~continues rambling to self~ ...i said my piece..i wont repeat myself too much :|
Go and get custody of your child straight away and if it was me i would pack up and leave so he doesnt know where you live. i know it sounds stupid running away but thats just what i would do. also i wouldnt let him anywhere near him either.

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